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Are the Dutch simply the rudest and least professional people in Europe?

136 replies

dikkertjedap · 02/01/2013 15:19

Just wondering ....

I find the treatment of customers in many shops simply shocking. Shop assistants seem to have to chew gum and are attached either to their mobile or chatting away with other cashiers or a friend and will let you wait quite happily. If you dare to say 'Excuse me ..' they will actually tell you 'I am busy, I will help you when I have time'. Hmm

For many personal services you have to pay, even if you cannot make it or they cannot make it. For example, if swimming lessons fall on Christmas Day or New Year's Day, there won't be a lesson but you still have to pay. If you want to cancel because of Holidays, you still have to pay. This seems with all sports, at least where I am based. Confused

If faulty goods (or no goods) are delivered then it is the customers' fault. BY DEFINITION. It is never the provider, NEVER EVER. Angry

People seem to be full of themselves, think they know a lot, whereas in many cases it simply makes you cry or laugh. Many pretend to have qualifications and it turns out they don't. So you pay a premium and then find out they are fully unqualified. Clearly no inspections whatsoever. Hmm

If a child falls of a climbing frame at school, it will take a considerable time for a staff member to come over, stroke the child over the head and tell it: 'So, now all okay, go and play'. No checks for bumps, no ice, no letter to parents. Shock

Many parents to not seem to use car seats/booster seats (I thought it was EU law?). So at childrens' parties they are all bundled in a car, 8 on the rear seat, no seat belts, no seats. Shock

Mind you, at my local Dutch Ikea store you can get tampons or sanitary towels, in case you need them, but don't forget they are called: female hygiene napkins. Don't dare to point out that this is slightly incorrect, because they will laugh in your face and tell you they are fluent English.

Not what I expected.

Rant over.

OP posts:
robertasmith66 · 12/02/2014 19:38

reanimating thread test

robertasmith66 · 12/02/2014 19:48

Dear initial poster.

You are spot on. It not just being horrible . Its outright racism.
You will note the Dutch DO NOT speak to each other in such a way- If you aint Dutch - they despise you. Your neighbors will speak to you one day - blank you the next. And will nearly runaway if there are other Dutchies around. been here 4 years kids and I speak Dutch. So no its not in your head - its the whole country that are backward - reminds of Salem story to be honest - and about the posters here denying this and ''NEVER came across that behaviour before ''- that pure BS - and they know it - they are probably part of the Dutch government PR machine - u know we r all European together etc etc ... Here is a fact of all the people in the international organizations working here from over 60 countries --not one says they ever want to come back [and these are some of the smartest people/nicest families in the world!!]

HavantGuard · 12/02/2014 19:57

I found it difficult but after a while I got it. People are harder to get to know but once you do they are proper friends. The customer service takes some getting used to Grin

Hoppinggreen · 14/02/2014 20:57

Rudest shop assistants I have ever found were in Spanish supermarkets ( and yes I do speak pretty good Spanish).
We go to one area several times a year and there are 3 supermarkets n town and 1 hypermarket a few miles away. The checkout staff in all of them are always rude. The only exceptions are the male ones, really odd!!!!

Stevie77 · 15/02/2014 16:51

As others mentioned, I don't mind the Dutch directness (probably because I'm from rude Israel ha ha) so much, and in a way find it better than the British way.

However, how has the Dutch extreme stinginess not come up yet? Friends tell me of shop and cafés not letting people use toilets, even if the person needing to use the toilet is a small child or pregnant woman and of some odd present-giving customs.

Orrace · 18/05/2025 13:49

Oh dear. I've lived in France, and am bilingual in French. Yes, the French WILL be rude, if they perceive you to have been rude... So if you wander into a shop without a polite "Bonjour Madame/Monsieur" then you will be accepted coldly and they will return your lack of respect for their cultural niceties with an equal lack of respect. But the Dutch, being nice about it, maybe their flat societal structure means they feel entitled to be rude, to everyone, and at times that borders on exploitation. I've been one of a few English speakers at more Dutch meals and events than I care to remember, and absolutely no compromise has ever been made to accommodate my lack of the language, I'm just left to nod and smile and try and keep up. Fine, it's their country, but my Dutch ex partner asked me to host birthday parties for him in my home in London, 20 people sat down at the table, and there were only two people at the table with English mother tongue, but the one language we could all communicate in was English, and so everyone who wasn't Dutch DID! The Dutch, who were about 8 of the total number - all sat together at one side of the table, and spoke loudly in Dutch throughout. Not in the Netherlands, not in their own home, but in MY home, in London.... My Dutch partner's daughters would come and visit, for a weekend, then stay a week, they treated the house like a hotel, colonised the family sitting room, and left a tip, ignored my children, and while I made efforts to arrange joint activities, they and their father consistently refused to engage, and refused to speak English....They had, briefly lived in London too, when one of my friends realised they'd been at the same school as her daughters, she immediately invited them over for drinks and dinner, the Dutch girls sneered "why would we want to socialise with people like that!" The universities have a 'sorority system' which functions around class, partying and booze, my partner's daughter's sorority invited all the fathers over (not the mothers, they were excluded) for an annual father/daughter knees up....It's an old university and an old sorority, apparently this is a tradition of that sorority, and the fathers all clubbed together to buy them a wine fridge in thanks! So much for that 'egalitarianism' more like Downing St in the Boris Johnson years, someone ask Sue Grey to inquire!. One of the girls, barely sixteen, showed up with her boyfriend to stay for a weekend (ie a week), they spent most of their time shagging in my son's bedroom, this didn't even raise an eyebrow, instead their father was very proud of the fact that they had learned 'English manners' which meant that at the end of their stay they said 'thank you' and gave me a bunch of flowers. We all felt utterly erased in our own home. I have never been made to feel so invisible, and while the Dutch - in my experience at least, are very vocal about how brilliant their 'open, direct and honest' culture is, there is nothing open about being in someone's home ensuring they are not included in conversations or activities. Very depressing, there's a surface of 'hail fellow well met' but ultimately the 'openness and individualism' borders on selfishness. The tolerance of young teens getting black out drunk (AT A SCHOOL GRADUATION) introducing short term sexual partners who are complete strangers to them, let alone the host, into our home, and the attitude of 'you're just uptight English people' is actually the definition of rude. Because what is rudeness but a lack of empathy, and all of this demonstrates a lack of empathy and curiosity about any culture other than their own. As for 'all Dutch speak English, if you measure it against the English ability to speak Dutch, absolutely, their English is excellent, if you measure it against any other European countries, it's no different, in my experience at least, and among this, highly educated social group, all graduates, a LOT of them had barely any English. That relationship is over, as you've probably guessed, ah the Dutch sexual libertarianism, Tinder dating while proposing marriage! For all the effort they made to get to know us we might never have existed... while I am now fully appraised of every aspect of their lives, their brilliance and their successes, and also fully informed, thanks to that legendary 'openness' of all my numerous English faults! Never again! Nice place to visit, wouldn't want to live there. I appreciate this relates to a (quite large and highly educated) group, and there are lots of lovely Dutch people, but I'm going to be even more 'English' next time I meet a Dutch person, smile, and walk on by.

Orrace · 18/05/2025 14:01

OMG, in my lengthy post, I forgot to mention the Dutch stinginess. Sweet Jesus, Mary and Joseph and the wee donkey they rode in on... Just off the scale mean! Anything you contribute or pay for is accepted without comment or thanks, but the reckoning up of every penny, AWFUL. I've seen tables of couples where each couple are diligently splitting the bill, and arguing about who had more bread. Dutch women are significantly poorer than Dutch men, a lot work part time, to raise kids, but there's absolutely NO gallantry or effort by Dutch men to 'treat' their wives or partners, and if you don't pay half they resent you. If you're going to date a Dutch man you really need to start, from the first meal out, calculating every single drop you drink or scrap you eat, because otherwise he's 'going Dutch' and you're green salad, steamed fish and glass of white (you ARE going to be driving!) will count for half the bill of his bitterballen, T bone, wine, cognac and pudding! Remember these are tall guys they can put away a LOT of food in one sitting. When the food arrives they l literally pounce on it, so move very fast if you don't want to go hungry. I've literally had an entire course eaten from under me! Beware, if you're invited into the 'club' you're also expected to bear the cost for the honour!

MrsKypp · 29/06/2025 23:39

I hated my time in the Netherlands. I found the Dutch very arrogant; all the friends I made there were other foreigners. That wasn't the case in other countries.

NormalAuntFanny · 04/07/2025 16:12

CoteDAzur · 02/01/2013 16:27

To answer thread title, I'd have to say: No, that award would have to go to the French. You have to live in France for a few years to see what I mean.

I don't get this at all and have lived in France for 20 years now. As long as you say hello before asking for something customer service is generally excellent, certainly loads better than in the Netherlands where we go often.

Plus as others say the NL is very very capitalist compared to it's European neighbours and is rip-off tastic. Just try renting a flat...

MrsKypp · 05/07/2025 17:57

It's about 500 Euros to get an ambulance for people in the Netherlands (with insurance) there's such a big excess before the insurance pays. In other neighbouring countries it's free or pretty much.

But that's not why I hated the country, I never needed an ambulance while there. The people are just so unfriendly and intolerant. And I speak their language fluently.

LadyLucksalot · 11/07/2025 10:54

Yes OP - this has been my experience too. So much so that it's actually funny. Although I suppose if you don't laugh about it, you cry ...

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