Hello all. My first thread here so bear with me!
I currently have a PSO in place. Solicitor costs are spiraling as my ex is being awkward. I don't qualify for legal aid. Thinking about representing myself in court, but I am honestly petrified to the point my anxiety has been triggered.
Does anyone have any experience in this, or have any advice?
TIA.
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Legal matters
Self Representation at Family Court
ljhals · 29/01/2023 12:24
Aldibag · 29/01/2023 13:04
Make a timeline. Stop stressing. Facts are key. Evidence to back up your argument is key. Don’t expect safety or justice from a court. Try to get your ex to see sense through any means possible before you get to court. Save as much energy as possible for parenting.
itsgettingweird · 29/01/2023 13:53
Bullet point all facts.
Keep all evidence.
Make sure all correspondence is in writing.
Present facts only - refuse to get emotionally involved and don't let your emotions drive what you say.
A judge can only make a judgement on the facts presented - the facts don't change dependent on who presents them.
Whiskeypowers · 30/01/2023 09:33
I was going to suggest a direct access barrister. Your ex sounds difficult and you could instruct directly yourself for hearing which would include a conference, prep and possibly refresher as well a hearing itself. Direct access barristers don’t need instruction from a solicitor
courts do not always give 50/50 especially if you are raising safeguarding concerns all manner of things could be looked at. At the least CAFCASS will be asked to make initial safeguarding enquires which will be presented to court at the outset
How old are the children?
what safety concerns do you have ?
Aldibag · 29/01/2023 20:44
Evidence includes a written statement from you and a timeline.
date, time: this happened (see letter 5)
dare, time; this next thing happened (see photo 1)
Evidence might include a print out of texts or emails, with their number written on the top.
It might include your bank account showing no payments from him. It might include letters from third parties - he was late, he did this crazy thing that I witnessed.
it might include doctors letter: she’s reported x to me or y, or a school letter: the kids are late / tired / dirty / whatever
it could include photos of injuries. Or recordings of rants.
all sorts of things depending on what you are trying to argue.
If you are in a contentious situation with a person who is very difficult, he may not tell the truth. Anything you think he will lie about, try to have evidence of the truth.
however, with the best will in the world, most of the time the judge cuts the cake for contact down the middle. So do your best but don’t expect safety or justice to come from a court.
don’t wear yourself out. Keep to the facts.
oviraptor21 · 29/01/2023 20:48
www.advicenow.org.uk/ has lots of information about self representing through various court processes.
Or www.supportthroughcourt.org/ might be able to help.
TizerorFizz · 30/01/2023 01:02
@ljhals
This has been going on too long. If DC are involved, it’s all about them. Have you attempted mediation?
In your circumstances, I would not represent yourself. It needs to get sorted. Frankly a barrister would be money well spent as they are used to dealing with difficult people like your ex. Judges don’t give 50/50 all the time either. The needs of Dc outweigh parental demands. Especially as DC get older. I think your solicitor needs to try and get a resolution to this by getting you representation. You won’t know this job like a barrister does. Younger ones are not that expensive!
LemonTT · 30/01/2023 00:27
You should also define and refine the contention, that is the reason why you think the order is needed or still needed. What is the risk if it is not in place. Then list the evidence as stated above to support this argument.
you can add some context at the start but don’t go on for ever. State that suffer from anxiety. It will give the judge some insight. State that how you feel following interactions with your ex. Try to back it up with evidence.
Aldibag · 30/01/2023 12:15
He’s weird. You knew he was weird in some aspects, which is why you rejected him as a partner. He will be capable of a lot of peculiar things - and I’m sorry that’s the case. It must be exhausting.
Barrister speaks in front of a judge ; solicitor is usually the desk-based person who deals with paperwork and tells barrister what the issues are.
SummerInSun · 30/01/2023 12:20
You will want a written statement from the lady who took your DC home from the club and saw all of this. And if she'd turn up in court for you, even better. Or encourage her to report it formally to social services too.
SummerInSun · 30/01/2023 15:38
Absolutely- independent first hand witness evidence is the best evidence (not a family law solicitor but it's true of all litigation). If you had a solicitor or barrister they would probably put together a formal witness statement, but if you are self represented having her write a letter and sign it, including saying she is happy for you to use it in court and to come to court if needed, should hopefully be ok.
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