Do we go back to court?

[ginandtonic2003]

ExH got court order in June for week long holiday this xmas and next summer. history of DV which was dismissed as historic (umm)...
DS was interviewed by Cafcass in December 2012 and said a previous holiday 3 years ago with Ex was ok but he only wanted day visit now but Cafcass recommended staying contact anyway. (Ummm too…)
I was accused in court of having"influenced" him (ummm…)
DS is 12 in this coming January and he does not want to go. He's told his father and his father wrote to him saying that harshness benefits children and that he was beaten as a child and this did him good… Now DS really does not want to go!
I have suggested more gradual plan to ExH but got rebuffed. (With a "deadline" to confirm the xmas holidays (Ignored…)
Anyway advise please on what to do? Do I insist DS goes against his will and make him go; call police on day if he refuses to go; just don't go; or apply for variation order even though its only been a few months?
Help! ….

[prh47bridge]

As the order is only 3 months old the court is unlikely to change it unless you can show that there has been a significant change in the situation. Disagreeing with the order is not enough. You are unlikely to get the order changed and at worst you could end up with an order against you that would stop you making any more applications for a period of time without first getting permission from the court.

As your son gets older his views will play a greater part in the court's decision but there is no set age where his views become the determining factor. At 12 his views should be a significant consideration for the court.

[ginandtonic2003]

what view would the court take if we go back so soon? I was told there should be a period when you "try to make it work".
also at what age (normally) will my sons view be taken as the basis for the order?

[lostdad]

If you feel that the current order you should apply for a variation - not unilaterally break the order.

An order for a variation will be made if you can demonstrate to the court that it is in the best interests of your son to do so. In material terms it means showing that it is better to make an order than not to do so.

As your DS is 12 his point of view will be important. You have an obligation to promote a good relationship with the other parent but the courts would, if you made an application, listen to his point of view.

If you feel you wish to make an application you should organise mediation first (organise it...don't ask your ex if he'd go...organise it and let him refuse if that is what he is going to do).

If you took the line that you'll not make your DS go if he doesn't want to you will be breaking a court order and you can expect a solicitor of his to point this out to court. Don't do this forcing him to take you to court as this will paint you in a bad light.

As always I caveat this by saying your DS's best interests are paramount and that should be your first and last consideration.