4 children in 4 bedroomed house

[mamatomany]

Does this sound fair to everyone, it's causing a riot in our house
So DC1 is nearly 10, at a funny age and likes to draw and play on her own rather than join in with the others anyway plus her toys tend to be quite compact, ds lite's etc.
I want her in the box room.
The next 2 are just 22 months apart, same sex and do get along very well, like to play Silvanian family etc so toys are bulky and like the same stories at bedtime.
So I'm thinking next biggest room for them.
But of course DC2 and 3 are both outraged that they have never had their own rooms and are now never likely to for the forseeable future.
Poor DC4 hasn't even arrived yet, but for once in my parenting life I really wanted to have a nursery with nice border and matching bedding etc etc.
DH thinks this is a waste of time and we should have bubs in with us in a cotbed until it's 2 and until then let DC2 and 3 have their own rooms.
What do you think ? I can't see them at 10 and 8 being anymore willing to go back to sharing and I can also imagine decorating the rooms, organising them and then after 1 night them missing each other.

[helyg]

I think it sounds perfectly fair. My 6 and nearly 8 year olds have always shared and they love it (they are both boys and have a sister and we have 3 bedrooms).

Is there a way that they could have the biggest room in the house? That way they woudl have more space for their clutter and might feel less hard done by?

[WellMeantHellBent]

I'm with your DH I think, baby should be in with you for 6 months at least anyway to minimise the risk of cot death and then you can make the decision. You don't have to decorate before the middle two get there own rooms surely?

I am assuming you have the biggest room then?

[seb1]

With regards to sharing they may change their mind my DDs have a room each but always want to sleep together in the spare room.

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

I wouldn't waste a room on a baby TBH. I know exactly how you feel though, I decorated up DSs room and it wasn't even opened, ended up a dumping ground. Can you compromise by decorating around the cot? Like a corner of your room that's it's own little room. I will have 3 DSs in a 3 bedroom, but the3rd is the playroom and all 3 will share (if I can squeeze them in) once DS3 is out of our bed Although in 2 years time someone is going to have to share ... hmmm.... [dunno]

[mamatomany]

The truth is the baby will sleep between us for the first 12 months anyway, the others have, but I like the idea of having the cot and the changing unit and all the cute bits and bobs. Circumstances have meant I've never had a nursery and I feel a bit robbed
I'd say we have the joint biggest room, although we have two built in wardrobes so that eats into our floor space.

[mamatomany]

You're it is a waste isn't it ?
I'll just have to make do with cute bedding lol

[mamatomany]

*You're right I meant, typing too fast

[cluelessnchaos]

I know what you mean about doing it right this time I am pg with dc4 and have already started moving kids about to create a nursery for babs, I plan to have a little crib in our room and then proper nursery where baby will sleep during the day and get dressed. It is something about making sacrifices for each of the others it's important to me to have that space set aside.

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

I made the playroom abit nursery like without the cot - the changing unit is in there, I covered cardboard boxes in fabric to match the curtains and it's nursery-like but still playroomy. Can you make room 3 a playroom to appease the 2 sharers, but decorate it how you want, have the changing unit in there, glider chair etc. or whatever you wanted Mine is all cream with red, blue, green and yellow gingham - I got curtains etc from this range and then put the cot quilt over the back of the sofabed in there - I keep peeking my head around the door, it's the first completed room in the house and all matching

[BertieBotts]

Could you have a big family meeting/discussion, put all options (even unlikely ones, like building an extension/moving house etc) on a big piece of paper and then go through them one by one, cross out any which are impossible, and then come to a decision, hopefully then they will all feel they have contributed. Just present the situation, ask for their input, but ultimately you and DH have the final say.

I think that in 2 years at 12 your DD1 is probably the most in need of a room of her own if possible, as she's likely to have started puberty, and I doubt that the youngest is going to want to share with a toddler, so they might see the logic in it a bit more by seeing all the options laid out.

Another option is put a curtain or arrange furniture (or even put up a partition?) so that the middle 2 have their own space as they get older.

Cute bedding, maybe one corner of your room you can make into a nursery of sorts? TBH a changing table is a bit of a waste of money and space unless you have a C-section or a bad back. How about spending a bit more on a really nice cotbed which matches your bedroom furniture so that you still get that interior planning thing to do. And maybe new bedding for your room in a cream sort of colour to match in with a baby set in cream?

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

A changing table is not a waste of money The first few days it looks all lovely , with milton wipes at the side and does not end up as a dumping ground when you realise that, actually, you cannot be arsed to go down the corridor/upstairs to change babys bum and instead change it on the sofa/bed hoping no shit get's on the covers, and you never decide that filling the baby bath underneath with pans, then having to carry it sloshing about to empty it every evening is not actually all that great and end up bathing the baby with you It stays all lovely and used and worth every penny of the £90 odd quid

[yomellamoHelly]

Could you use one of the downstairs receptions as a bedroom? Maybe add a conservatory to increase living space? Or too out of the box? (Is what we're doing when we move.)

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

Well, unless you are planning a move in a few years, 2 will end up sharing anyway. If the '2 sharers' are similar age and same sex, it's gonna be them I think make room 3 a playroom/nursery, then in a year or so baby can have it as it's own bedroom and you can deal with the fallout from the loss of the playroom then

[nickschick]

I think 2 sharing is fine - the nursery will house lots of baby related stuff and you wont then in a few years have to start shifting things around.

screens and princess beds make the ones sharing have their 'own' space.

[mamatomany]

It's a bungalow so the "downstairs space" is basically a kitchen/diner, sitting room which the kids own anyway and a study where DH and I hide.
We've thought about a conservatory as a playroom or maybe even converting the garage into a study and teenage den to make up for sharing/having a box room.
But I think the truth is we paid too much for this house so any improvements I doubt we'd any see the money again and I think we're going to need to put down a big sum on the next house because I don't think they'll be any equity in this one
I really want the baby to have 4 years in this house because the garden is so lovely and it is nice to be all on one level but then the older ones are being a bit short changed.
Won't kill them I guess !

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

Well, at the end of the day when baby needs to move from your room, the 2 are going to end up sharing anyway. You need a dumping ground place for bouncers and all that stuff anyway, I put a mixture of these, all plain white - some have 2 big doors, some have 2 little doors and two cubby holes, some have 4 cubby holes - all along one wall and got 10"x10"x10" cardboard boxes, covered in cheap gingham fabric and it holds a hell of alot of toys. In a tiny tiny single room I have 9 of these along a wall, changing unit between the last ones and the wall, a sofa bed and it's left lots of playing space. So in a decent sized room, you could have a wall of these (or GLTC have similar but much more expensive) and pretty much whatever else you want. We have a little TV aswell, opposite the sofabed so we can stash the DCs away and have some peace THe DCs may be abit happier sharing if they get a playroom in the 3rd room.

[4andnotout]

I have 4 children in a 3 bed house, we did initally have dd's 1-3 sharing the biggest room and then a nursery in the box room for dd4. However as she was bit of a mare she ended up co sleeping for 19months and the nursery ended up as a dumping ground! We have now redecorated it as a bedroom for dd's 3and 4, there is 13 months between them and they love sharing, we are hoping to move to a 4 bed propert which is now
being built at the end of our estate, mainly as the box room only measures 6ft square and we can't fit two full size beds in it.

[ASecretLemonadeDrinker]

Is splitting a room in half an option? Fairly easy with a stud wall. But, no doubt after a while 2 will decide they would rather share a bigger bedroom than have 2 small ones

[HousewifeOfOrangeCounty]

I have three dcs and have moved recently from three bed house to four beds, so for the first time they have a room each. I cannot tell you how many times DH and I have commented on how much better relations are between dc's since the move. The two who were sharing and now actually admitting they like each other and are often found seeking each other out. As a family it's been bliss - so in your situation I'd give the older three a room each and worry about the little one later.

[cluelessnchaos]

I don't think op is going to ban her other dc from the garden and keep it just for the baby, we were thinking of having 2dc share and keep a spare room for visitors in the end the idea of making it more difficult for the in laws to come was too tempting so we are filling the bedrooms, it's hardly child cruelty to have children share, mine willingly share rooms as often as they are allowed and learn lessons from having to share with siblings, No offence mjinhiding.