I've read a lot of the recent 'should I have a third' threads but they all seem to be high income families. I've no doubt there are good reasons for that! Yet still, is there anyone around who isn't a high income family and has 3 or more and if so how do you manage, do you have any words of advice, what are your biggest challenges, limitations or sacrifices? Our joint income both working PT is about £45k but I think if we were to have a third, I would almost certainly need to become a SAHM due to the childcare costs as I'm a low earner.
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Is there anyone here with 3+ kids who isn't a high income family?
WeightoftheWorld · 29/04/2023 16:40
MeanderingOnTheNorfolkBroads · 30/04/2023 07:04
Genuine question...
Why would you want a third child if it meant you were 'managing', rather than 'thriving'?
febrezeme · 30/04/2023 06:35
Well I'd suggest that one or both of you need to work full time? You are "low" earners out of choice rather than necessity as two adults working part time is somewhat of a luxury?
I have 3 and I earn circa £70k but massive childcare bills as I have twins - childcare is twice that of my mortgage at £2k per month
Noicant · 30/04/2023 08:31
There was another thread on changes to UC so I would look into that if it would affect your decision to have more than 2.
Luredbyapomegranate · 30/04/2023 08:29
Yes this, you have to put the kids you do have first. If sounds like in your case it’s going to stress the family emotionally, financially and in terms of time to parent. If that’s correct it would be wrong to do it.
MeanderingOnTheNorfolkBroads · 30/04/2023 07:04
Genuine question...
Why would you want a third child if it meant you were 'managing', rather than 'thriving'?
WeightoftheWorld · 30/04/2023 11:01
Totally appreciate this, we are undecided about a third. We don't want to put our kids in a financially precarious position. However, I think there many benefits to a larger family that are more important than SOME of the things that extra money can buy. Neither me nor DH come from a wealthy family so our childhoods didn't involve lots of paid activities or holidays anyway so I'm sure that affects our viewpoint compared to perhaps people born into wealth. Of course there is a balance to be had though, Im not going to make a decision that would plunge my kids into poverty or anywhere near it obviously.
Luredbyapomegranate · 30/04/2023 08:29
Yes this, you have to put the kids you do have first. If sounds like in your case it’s going to stress the family emotionally, financially and in terms of time to parent. If that’s correct it would be wrong to do it.
MeanderingOnTheNorfolkBroads · 30/04/2023 07:04
Genuine question...
Why would you want a third child if it meant you were 'managing', rather than 'thriving'?
Ohow · 30/04/2023 13:15
There's actually inverse correlation between household income and number of kids - the more money you have the fewer kids on an aggregate level. Also true for education.
Keepitrealnomists · 30/04/2023 13:47
I'm interested to know what benefits there are to having a larger family that's more than money?
I was raised in a poor family, it was horrible and not something I would ever inflict on my children.
My brother has 3 DC, they are in a lot of debt and can't barely afford the essentials despite 2 ft working parents. It's a miserable existence and stressful!
WeightoftheWorld · 30/04/2023 11:01
Totally appreciate this, we are undecided about a third. We don't want to put our kids in a financially precarious position. However, I think there many benefits to a larger family that are more important than SOME of the things that extra money can buy. Neither me nor DH come from a wealthy family so our childhoods didn't involve lots of paid activities or holidays anyway so I'm sure that affects our viewpoint compared to perhaps people born into wealth. Of course there is a balance to be had though, Im not going to make a decision that would plunge my kids into poverty or anywhere near it obviously.
Luredbyapomegranate · 30/04/2023 08:29
Yes this, you have to put the kids you do have first. If sounds like in your case it’s going to stress the family emotionally, financially and in terms of time to parent. If that’s correct it would be wrong to do it.
MeanderingOnTheNorfolkBroads · 30/04/2023 07:04
Genuine question...
Why would you want a third child if it meant you were 'managing', rather than 'thriving'?
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