Thank you Crumpets124. I spent the day painting our kitchen and hallway and was a bit stumped by how the thread has gone. I was not sure how to respond, or if I should. I'm so drained and tired. But I've had a couple of beers with dinner, so here we go.
DP definitely wants children. We are on the same page there. We talk about it regularly. He had surgery last year, so I know he is committed. Sadly it appears that the surgery didn't work, but I know l knew it only had a 30-50% success rate anyway.
He's from a science and medical background and has not found adequate evidence he would like to see on pubmed with regards to vitamins. He's intelligent and well-informed, but he will never do something that's not proven beyond reasonable doubt just because it won't hurt. It's frustrating in this case, although it's something I like and admire in him in other situations.
I am actually disabled myself, so I have given the "what if your baby has additional needs" question plenty of thought. I don't want to go into my conclusions here.
Adoption is not for us, although we have discussed fostering.
I know that there are people in worse circumstances than us. My parents' friends recently had a baby after 20 years of infertility.
I understand that children are hard work. Plenty of people have told me about it, I remember how difficult I was as a child, and I have younger siblings who I was a third parent to growing up. That knowledge doesn't alter my biological drive or these feelings. Nor did seeing a toddler throw a tantrum in Sainsbury's today.
We don't have any animals as we work a lot and feel that it would be unfair to leave a dog (or whatever) alone all day every day.
Thank you for kind comments, I do appreciate them, even if I don't know what to do with myself at the moment.