Help! IVF - Overweight

[torthecatlady]

Hi, i'll try and give you as much info as possible, so as not to drip-feed!
I apologise in advance for the long message! I have wanted to start this thread for ages, but have only now mustered up enough courage to do so!

Basically DH and I would like to start a family over the next couple of years, but naturally conceiving seems pretty unlikely. We would like our first before we turn 30 and hopefully approx. a 5 year age gap for the next. (We are open to adoption, however would like to try to conceive on our own first.)

DH and I have not been "actively trying" to conceive, however we have not used any form of contraception for around 3 years. I still feel young but we're ready.

We have not had any pregnancies in this relationship. However, I have had a couple of pregnancies but no children as a result of miscarriage in a previous relationship - but none for at least 9 years. DH has a DS from a previous relationship, so it doesn't appear to be a problem from that side.

I have been diagnosed with a couple of medical conditions which could be contributing factors to our infertility PCOS and Endometriosis.

We are young. I am 25 and DH is 26, time is on our side - however we are both overweight and actively trying to get fitter and healthier! We are both in the "obese" category on a bmi index. I need to be one stone lighter to be "overweight" and be considered for IVF (I think?).

Will our dr refer us, even if we are currently overweight?

I am not sure where we stand in terms of IVF on the NHS. We live in Wales and the waiting time is quite long.

We have been to an open evening at a private clinic (which was amazing) and expensive who did not say our weight would be an issue in us using their services.

However, I have heard that the NHS will not offer us IVF if we are overweight.

The private clinic offer free treatment if we were to donate eggs or sperm - They won't take my eggs for health reasons, but DH is happy to donate. We cannot afford the cost of private without the donation of sperm!
I would prefer to go down the NHS route first if possible though.

[Kirstie27]

A friend of mine isn't able to get treatment on the NHS and there's no real reason bra sue neither of them have had children with previous partners so They self funded 3 rounds which unfortunately did not work. My OH and I aren't able to receive NHS treatment because he had a vasectomy many years ago. Fortunately we have found a lovely clinic in Norway

[PurpleClintAngels]

Hi everyone,

I'm currently trying to lose weight as I'm hoping to have fertility treatment early next year.

Kirstie27 my OH has also had a vasectomy and I've been researching clinics abroad. I've been looking at one in Denmark. Have you had any contact with the clinic yet? I'm curious to know whether it'll be full ivf for us or if there is a possibility of unmediated ivf or even iui? Just being nosey and trying to mentally prepare!
I am jumping the gun a bit though because I've got about 3.5 stones to lose.

[Kirstie27]

We are actually due to begin long protocol next month!! We will be having Ivf with surgical sperm retrieval and Icsi. We have had 3 Skype consultations and we had the chance to meet our dr at a fertility show near us last month. we go over to Norway for 10 nights. They recommend 7 but we thought we would give ourselves a day or so either side. The clinic have been fantastic. How are you losing weight? I joined slimming world and lost mine in a year. The end goal kept me going!! As anything I can do for a boost! X

[Blondeshavemorefun]

Wifey. It's shit isn't it. I'm also Kent. We are the ones with problems yet as partners have children from years ago (DF 3 are all in 20's) we lose our NHS go. It sucks :(

Regards weight - I've had 4 failed so far and each time I have gained weight with the drugs (and Havnt got it off) :(

Think it varies with each person

[Wifey1990]

Yes very shit indeed. What makes it worse we have full custody of my husbands girl, her mother is usless excuse of women and knocks them out now like there raffle prizes. All to the care system! My girl is beautiful and I love her more than life but she's not mine and she wants so much to be a big sister. I'm currently working 2 jobs to try and pay for IVF. Trying to keep home life happy and healthy and my husband is working hard.

[PotteringAlong]

were you obese when you conceived before? If not I would set about loosing weight first before contemplating I've.

[PotteringAlong]

Sorry, IVF

[Blondeshavemorefun]

Where are you in Kent or message me if you don't want to out yourself - which clinic are you thinking of?

Yes very unfair that some cough and get preg. One friend gave partner a mercy fuck as they hadn't had sex for months since their 6mth had been born and yes she gets preg again

[Kirstie27]

My best friend isn't in a great relationship they are currently living in a small house with her fellas dad and a child. We spoke in Jan and she said she did not want another child. Next thing she's telling me she's pregnant. I love her to death but she knows my situation and if I say how crap it os working she comes out with things like "try being pregnant" she's always dropping these comments but they really get to me. I'm happy for her I just wish she'd have a little filter before she comes out with these comments

[Wifey1990]

Hi ladies, sorry not been on much busy weekend. There is a clinic which is based in tunbridge wells? I live in west malling.

I have not heard from her since the phone call and I probably won't unless she wants to tell me all her issues with her bf. Who's out right said he don't want the baby.

Kirstie27 - women can be so selfish again another one who sounds like she only cares for her needs. It's just so unfair dreading AF this month in her disheartened every month but after the op any so many success stories after the lap dye.

[Blondeshavemorefun]

You are very near me. I'm Tonbridge. Use that clinic. Was south east now called care

They are flexible with bmi if paying private

Sadly 2 private fresh cycles failed for me there tho do know others who got pregnant there - friend did NHS earlier and got pregnant

[ilovewelshrarebit123]

I went to a private clinic for ICSI and had to lose two stone before they'd do any treatment. I had a BMI of 31.

I'm really sorry to say this, but we had to pay for all our treatment as my DH had two children from a previous marriage. Our PCT wouldn't fund even after an appeal . We spent £15k on 3 cycles in total and our daughter is 9.

Not sure what the criteria is for Wales, but I'd try to get into a healthy BMI before starting.

Good luck

[Wifey1990]

My bmi is not to bad I only need to lose about a stone, with PCOS that's a bit difficult carbs are not my friend :-( tonbridge is not far at all. I'm not doing to bad with the savings. Me and hubby have said after xmas we will contact the clinic x

[Kirstie27]

Wifey1990 join slimming world. They have effectively a carb free plan known as SP it's dead easy to follow and to lose a stone between now and Christmas would be easily achievable :) I lost my weight before we properly discussed anything. Mainly because I was embarrassed as to what the dr would say :( then I contacted the clinic and then we saved up so we would know roughly how much we needed. We haven't really spoken about what we are about to embark on next month so I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing! We've been together 10 years and we are very happy so perhaps it's just how we're coping. I think when I start long protocol next month it will feel more real! X

[Wifey1990]

I have a local slimming world just opposite my house on Wednesday I think I will sign up. We will be speaking to the clinic 100% after Christmas. We have been together for 6 years married since March this year. We don't talk about children really as much, his never blamed me or made me feel like it's my fault. We will all get there and be mummy's one day. X

[Kirstie27]

We will indeed!! I'm so excited for you. As soon as you start to put things in motion you'll feel like your nearer :). I'm glad I commented on this thread!! I'll ask my consultant if there's any vouchers in magazines which will save you £5 when you join slimming world (it'll be £10 instead of £15) X

[superwormissuperstrong]

I don't think it's been mentioned but while you resolve the ivf funding issue in your area why are you not 'actively' trying?
Are you having sex every other day? Or do you know your cycle? Are you using opk's? Or measuring your temp every day to identify your fertile time?
I mat have missed why you don't mention this but it's a lot less invasive and expensive than ivf and can at least be done now or while you are waiting?

[Wifey1990]

Hi I had a lap last week both of my tubes where blocked, they made slits in each of them and managed to get the dye to flow through. I had my op on the 14th July. We have been trying i ovulated last week, and see my fertility doctor in 5 weeks. I just know I am going to need IVF. I also suffer with PCOS and I only have a 23% chance of conceiving naturally.

I have looked up slimming world this morning and it sounds great, defo giving it ago on weds.

Good luck to all as always

[Kirstie27]

There is a woman's own magazine out tomorrow with a voucher inside for slimming world :) X

[lotsoffreckles]

Hi all. I'm another who has 2 DSD so wasn't eligible for NHS funding, I'm in Kent.

OP like you i was young and I knew I had fatility issues from the start after years of blocked tubes which ended up being twisted. I had them removed in the end due to health reasons as well as the high chance of ectopic pregnancy, IVF was my best bet. Best advice would be get the ball rolling, I was 27 when I started all the investigations I'm now 31 and just this weekend got a BFP on our 2nd fresh cycle (1 FT inbetween) Finding the money is hard, we sacrificed a lot, holidays etc but we also asked for money as a wedding present (Aug last year) to help towards completing our family. It took us another few months to save up the remaining money but the result is 100% worth it.

I lost a stone before this cycle and upped my excersise and including swimming, helped me hugely loose the weight! Also no alcohol 2 months leading in to starting my short protocol, saved lots of calories

Sending lots of positive vibes you're way ladies xxx

[Kirstie27]

Hi ladies. How is everything going? Hope you are all well. I received my suprefact and bemfola to begin on Tuesday! Nervous isn't the word! Feel like I have nobody to talk too as a friend of mine has had 3 failed Ivf treatments and has now broken up with her husband and is currently on the sick with depression so I obviously can't be discussing this with her as I don't want to upset her. We are using a clinic in Norway so the first time I have a scan is when we go over in September for the treatment! I'm praying I Handle the side effects of the nasal spray! X

[Princessbinkyboo001]

Waiting on an appointment to the fertility clinic I have pcos and been back and forward many hospitals will no actual treatment I'm now being sent to a fertility clinic I was asked if I have children which I don't but my partner does for a previous relationship although we said he doesn't as we were told he has does I wouldn't get any help!!! Now worried that they may check??? Does any one know if they will look into this more and how would they check??? Has this happened to any one else??

[Blondeshavemorefun]

They will check and tbh they won't be impressed you lied :(

It's harsh. As I said previously DF has 3 kids all in 20's so I lost my NHS go

Very unfair if male has them that we if have fertility problems lose the NHS rift

5 lots of private and finally preg

I wish you luck and advise you to be honest

[Honeybee79]

I have not read the whole thread so apologies if I am duplicating. I was overweight when we began the IVF process (also had PCOS and male factor issues). We didn't try to NHS because we already had DS1 so knew we wouldn't qualify for funding, but I think the NHS does have a BMI cut off, which may vary from trust to trust but it your DH has a DS then you won't qualify for the NHS funding anyway.

Private clinics do generally have there own BMI cut offs beyond which they won't provide IVF. I was beneath that cut off but the Dr I saw at the initial appointment was very honest with me and basically said given how expensive IVF is surely I would want to maximise my chances of success by losing the excess weight and getting fit and healthy . . . To which we agreed. So, they would have treated me, but instead we went away for about 5 or 6 months and I lost about 3 stone through sorting out my disordered eating and exercising. When we went back I had a BMI of 24, if I recall correctly.

If the IVF works, there are more risk factors if you are seriously overweight during the pregnancy. So all round it is a good idea to try and lose the weight first. It will make any pregnancy easier.

I am now 30 weeks pregnant following our first cycle of IVF and I am so glad that we decided to wait while I got fit and healthy.

[Princessbinkyboo001]

I still don't know how they can check if my partner has kids. His not on birth certificate s so how will they know??