Why are so many Mothers of children with invisable medical conditions getting accused of Munchausens by Proxy/FII?

[BuildUpMyFence]

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2554867/The-schools-spy-Munchausen-Mums-Teachers-accuse-lying-childrens-autism-attention.html

What is going on in child protection training that so many Professionals are so obsessed with this type of witch hunt?

[insanityscatching]

I think it shakes your confidence in your ability to keep your child safe tbh and your trust in the health profession as well. Once ds was referred on every professional acknowledged that I was a knowledgeable and experienced parent who handled ds sensitively and that helped a great deal.
Five years after ds's diagnosis I had dd and she restored my confidence, I escaped the pnd and puerperal psychosis, dd was a model baby and when she was diagnosed with autism at two it was so smoothly done (No one would have dared doubted me by then)
The anger has gone, I look back and just feel sad now and grateful in a way that it was autism because had it been something life threatening I'm in no doubt that my concerns wouldn't have been listened to or acted upon until it was too late.
Mrsd I've done the tribunal and judicial review to get ds into independent specialist school so you have my sympathy but I learned from my complaint to keep meticulous notes and they helped enormously.

[Spero]

MrsD and insanity - would you mind if I cut and pasted your comments and added them to my post on the CPR site?

I think they are very powerful and people need to remember the impact they have.

[BuildUpMyFence]

I so get what you are saying there Mrs.

I didn't adopt a child or loose a child so have no idea what that is like.

I do know what it is like being hated for the person they "imagine" you to be, looked at, spoken about and to as if you are dirt beneath their shoes and being picked apart feels like, the rubbish they wrote that was not true hurt me the most. It is nothing to them and it colours your sense of being.

[BuildUpMyFence]

I think the other thing is even if you did have FII, that is considered a mental health condition, there does seem to be a culture of mentally ill people don't deserve to be treated the same as other human beings going on too.

[insanityscatching]

That is exactly it, ds was my fourth child, I was never neurotic, I had never expressed any concerns about the others, never needed any support and the others thrived. Suddenly that all counted for nothing, they totally dismissed that I knew what the average child should be able to do and ds was nothing like average.
I even said I thought it was autism (because ds presented as classical autism and I was looking for reasons why) but that was seen as being proof it was MBP. The psychiatrist himself asked for referral for assessment for autism because it was so obvious and yet the GPs thought they knew better than the psychiatrist and the SALT.Their arrogance astounds me to this day.
The HV was forced to retire soon after my complaint when a baby nearly died because of her advice but the GPs are still there and it's an open secret in this area that if a child enters school with developmental difficulties that haven't been noticed or addressed the child is at that practise so my complaint counted for nothing in the end.
Hang in their Mrsd, go through every complaints procedure, it's bloody frustrating but I got a little pleasure knowing I was giving them extra work and they were shit scared up before the health authority which pleased me no end.

[insanityscatching]

Oh god yes, the GPs got roasted because of their initial response to my complaint so file it away and when they have to answer to their seniors you bring that response up as well It wasn't easy to complain, I was going through ds's dx and getting a statement but I had to, to regain some self worth as they pretty much destroyed me. Seeing them scared and squirming helped redress the balance and I walked out with my head held high as the panel were very sympathetic and told them I was very impressive .

[Spero]

Thanks Mrs DeV - I have cut and pasted your words and made them into the basis of a separate post, because I think this is an important matter.

Could you check and let me know if you are ok with what I have done?

And insanity - if you would also be ok with me including your comments, please let me know.

I think you both write very clearly and get your point accross well.

www.childprotectionresource.org.uk/the-impact-of-investigation-and-the-need-for-professionalism/

[insanityscatching]

Yes you can quote me, if it goes in any way to preventing someone else experiencing anything like it then it has to be a good thing doesn't it?

[Spero]

thanks insanity - I don't know if we can ever prevent people acting badly but what I hope is that your words might give some other parents inspiration - or at least might make some professionals stop and think a bit.

We have already had one supportive comment from a trainee social worker, so hopefully she will read and spread the word!

[Spero]

Please check and let me know if you are ok with this. The formatting has gone a bit wonky for insanity's post but I will carry on trying to fix it.

www.childprotectionresource.org.uk/the-impact-of-investigation-and-the-need-for-professionalism/

[insanityscatching]

Well then if nothing else it will encourage parents to complain because it wasn't until we got in front of the LHA that the GP's acknowledged they were wrong, they still believed that ds's difficulties were either imagined /exaggerated or caused by my PND.
At ds's multi disciplinary assessment, the HV attended and was still adamant that it was me even though she had listened to the paed, the child psychologist, the OT, the SALT, the ed psych, the Early Years SSSEN teacher discussing their assessments and documenting their own observations.
At the end the paed dismissed her telling her that ds and myself had been failed by the practise and that I was a tremendous mother who put her ds first because I had tolerated her attendance purely because I didn't want any delays in getting support for ds. But I had a new GP from that day so she wasn't needed and none of the correspondence would be sent to the GPs but would be forwarded to the new one. He said she was speechless

[Spero]

Well done to you for having the tenacity to fight on.

I grew up having to deal with lots of doctors and yes, the arrogance and the lack of human compassion in a fair few is still with me today...

I went with a friend last week to have a scan - her GP panicked at some abdominal lumps (fortunately only fibroids it turns out), he sent her to a consultant who recommended a particular scan... and my friend had to argue in the corridor for 15 mins with an ultra sound technician who was telling her the consultant had ordered the 'wrong scan' !!

I do think the problem is that when certain professionals get an 'idea' in their head it is very, very hard to get it out. I think we ALL need to check our assumptions and be willing to shift when the evidence suggests we must.

[Spero]

Yes, it would be helpful to add that - do you want to write a few paras or are you happy to let me paraphrase?

There is clearly a need for a post about complaints - routes, mechanisms etc. so if anyone has any info or tips they could share, that would be great too.

[BuildUpMyFence]

They avoid answering questions to fob you off. The ombudsman looks at the way the complaint response has been answered by the agency. you have to have meetings first to show willing for local resolution. I have only taken one to the ombudsman, it was premature.

[BuildUpMyFence]

They also try to avoid answer the questions you put to them by pretending to not understand, and answering something you have not asked them.

[Spero]

Thanks, will add.

[CouthyMow]

I have it it confirmed today by the SW dealing with DD that I was indeed investigated by SS for FII last year when I had SS involvement, but it was proven not to be the case because my DC's DO have genuine health issues, and it WAS a health professional (my Current and soon to be ex GP is my best guess given the SW's hints and his refusal to attend the CIN meetings last year.) that referred the allegation.

They have NO issues with FII, and I pointed out to her that a lot of parents with children suffering from EDS and hypermobility syndrome have been subject to these allegations, and that there have even been conferences about this subject involving EDSUK and HMSA.

She is going to do some research into that!! She was shocked by the whole thing on going through my paperwork, and said that she will ensure that it doesn't happen again.

[CouthyMow]

(They don't tell you at the time that that is what you are being investigate for, I knew it was, but it was still a shock when she brought that out into the open this morning.)