Dd2 is not coping with secondary school, am seriously considering home edding her

[lou33]

and i am seeing her head of year on weds, during which time i will mention the possibility

dd is 12, year 7

does anyone have any advice for me? she is so miserable it is making her ill (along with other issues i think) and she has had a lot of time off too

[bollockbrain]

Looks like all set for home ed then. Great!

Good luck, you and DD will love it!

[bollockbrain]

Looks like all set for home ed then. Great!

Good luck, you and DD will love it!

[bollockbrain]

obviously you will love it twice as much !!!

[MrsFreud]

lou, it sounds like you got the answer you already wanted!!

But as an alternative suggestion, I would think that as she hasn't got a learning issue and is doing well, she just needs a change of school. As a teacher I have seen girls changing schools at this time of the year (and early last term) exactly because of what you describe. Girls with bitchy cliques etc.

However once the girls come to our school, they get into a different social set and the changes are amazing. Surely it is worth one change to a nearby school, else it seems a bit defeatist. Am not sure it gives the right messgae to your child. She could thrive and regain her confidence in another setting.

[MrsFreud]

Hmm...By defeatist I mean letting those bullies drive your daughter out of a school system that she was thriving in. How dare they!!! If she has high grades then you might be putting them at risk by changing her teaching style. ..and no I'm not anti-HE, its all about getting the right education for each child - and since your daughters grades are high, its her social life that needs to be fixed, she needs to feel confident!

[lou33]

she has never thrived in it thats my point, not from day one

moving her to a new school means moving her to one a good few miles further away and to one with a worse educational track record, and she would still be moving with the same obvious issues that have made her a target in this school, only knowing absolutely noone

it's actually older boys who have been causing her trouble, not girls

[lou33]

thank you, you have all been v helpful in helping me decide

dd went to sleep without any struggle tonight for the first time in months

[siblingrivalry]

So pleased for you both, Lou. Good luck -I'm sure you will all be a lot happier now

[lou33]

i dropped the letter int his morning, so will see if they have anything to say in reply and update you

[onwardandupward]

More to the piont, how is your Dd??? I hope you have a lovely day together!!!

[lou33]

she seems a lot happier, just spent the day lolling about doing not a lot really, i have told her she can have some time off with no schooling, but not said how long

[siblingrivalry]

We have spent the last 3 weeks deschooling -with dd instigating various 'projects' -it's been lovely.
I am going to introduce a slightly more structured approach next week. DD is aware and seems quite happy- so far!
It was only last week that i saw dd relax enough to begin to think about starting to being a bit more formal. She got there herself, though -she just needed time. It's been amazing to witness, TBH. I feel as though I am getting my daughter back.
So glad your dd is happier too, Lou.

[lou33]

i think i need a break from all the stress and angst too!

[AMumInScotlandsAMumForAThat]

Be nice to yourselves, and let yourselves relax out of the stress - I think like siblingrivalry you'll sense the difference when you've both got over it a bit and are ready to get back into things.

I'm glad you've made your decision - well done!

[julienoshoes]

Be aware that some children (and their parents ) need more than a few weeks to let go off all the angst that school has caused.
The advice is generally a month for every year in school.
I know now that our son needed longer than that, to recover from the damage-but then he had been in school the longest of our three.

As AMIS says is right, you are the one best placed to sense when they have begun to recover and take steps forward.

Personally I'd declare a holiday for a month or two, to give myself permission to let go of all of the brain washing that we have all been fed-that sitting down and being taught is the only way to learn.

We did something similar and saw that it wasn't possible for them to want to do nothing forever, seeds of interest began to flare when they were assured that no-one was going to make them do anything any more (and dyslexic children have had to overwork, so very much in school)

It has been a real pleasure to watch some of those seeds develop and blossom-and they have certainly led us in paths I never expected and have allowed the children to experience a truly personalised education in the way the Government can only dream of.

Enjoy!

[lou33]

this is all really encouraging thank you

i believe the school called when i was driving today but i didnt pick up, and i havent checked my voicemail to listen to her message

dd2 also just informed me that she has finally managed to poo after a week or so of not, she has been on hi fibre foods to encourage her, but i wouldnt be surprised if the stress relief has helped too

she looks so happy today

[Yurtgirl]

Lou33 I was wondering about your dd today! How is she getting on?