University life for freshers (2019/20) - we're hopping towards Easter with a pandemic to avoid **Title edited by MNHQ**

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

Previous thread

[justasking111]

DS and his flatmates stay in a lot, cheaper. They watch films on a white wall using a projector/phone. Tonight they are making pancakes with chilli and garlic filling, they all have rotten colds.

[Ginfordinner]

That will be the other reason they don't go out a lot justasking111. The flat has a TV, and DD pays a Netflix subscription and hooks up her laptop to the TV with an HDMI cable.

[Ragwort]

Gin my DS is doing an Economics degree . He tells me he has about 16 hours a week, but quite a few of the students don't attend all the lectures (esp the 5-6pm one on a Friday ), I think he does attend all his lectures but there has been no mention of exams or anything like the pressure that some of the students referred to on this thread clearly have. He is making the most of his uni experience - lots of sport and societies, a part time job and involved in the local community- so overall I am happy that he's happy .... he's not at an RG uni & I do think about how 'useful' his degree will be when he leaves, hopefully the full third year on placement will be of benefit.

But I think back to my own uni experience.... about six hours a week contact time in my final year and a fairly useless Social Sciences degree that had no relevance to my eventual career, but I am so glad I did go to uni, four great years (& I was at uni in the days of a full grant and no fees ).

A rather rambling way of agreeing that there is clearly a huge difference in 'degrees' depending on which uni you go to.

[justasking111]

@Ginfordinner I am paying the netflix subscription, but he did leave his amazon one on our tv. I am hoping netflix do not lower the boom on multi users all three of my DCs have access.

[HoldMyLobster]

Looked up what DD is doing - it's about 4-7 hours of contact time per class, and she's currently doing 5 classes. (She's at a US college so she chooses how many classes and in what subjects to take each term.)

So about 25 hours a week of contact time, plus studying and homework.

She also does about 6-8 hours a week of rehearsals, although that's just gone up because she's joined a third group. One band rehearses 10-11.30pm three nights a week.

Plus performances...

Plus a social life. She just joined a sorority, so that will have a load of time commitments - on the plus side it also means she has housing for all her remaining time at college if she wants it.

She also walks about 5 miles a day, around campus and into town and back.

And periodically she sits and plays computer games/chats with her boyfriend who is 400 miles away from her.

I have no idea how she fits it all in. Whenever I spend a weekend with her I'm exhausted by the end of it, whereas she's still out and about.

Oh to be 18 and fit and healthy again.

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

It depends on the university and type of course. For some subjects (thinking medicine and related disciplines and things like engineering) you clearly have to do lots of contact hours because there's lots to learn and the frequent assignments/exams are built into the curriculum to check that you have a firm understanding of your area (very important if you're going to be let loose on human beings, buildings, bridges etc...!). Clearly it's not quite the same if you are studying English or philosophy, for example.

@HoldMyLobster your DD sounds as if she is fully embracing the university experience. Good on her!

The more I hear from DS the more I think he is enjoying being at university but living quite a solitary life. Clearly he has friends (he has sorted out a house-share for next year already) but I don't get the impression he's being very sociable at all or really doing much in the way of life-enriching activities. It's quite worrying me.

[bigTillyMint]

@Ragwort, my DH has an Eco degree - he would have loved our DC to to one

@justasking111, DD seems so share our Netflix password with others - we have to change it regularly! DS seems to have got back into playing FIFA with his mates. When he’s not playing RL footy

Are everyone’s DSs OK WRT mumps? DS seemed convinced he would get it despite having had the MMR.

[bigTillyMint]

@NewModelArmyMayhem18, was your DS very sociable when he was at school? Or is he just a quieter personality?

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

@bigTillyMint there was something I read very recently in The Sunday Times about the mumps vaccine. Apparently in the U.S. students can get a booster jab but over here it's not (yet) been deemed necessary. I am not sure if it's available on the NHS if you ask (but would assume not) but it probably is privately.

That Andrew Wakefield has a helluva lot to answer for, that's all I can say. Our DC's cohort is the one most impacted by his phony research findings and the ensuing fall-out of non-vaccinating. GRRRR.

[bigTillyMint]

@NewModelArmyMayhem18, exactly re Wakefield and MMR. DS actually got measles before he had the MMR, luckily very mildly. DD didn’t as she had been immunised.

[Jano69]

DS has about 8 hours contact time per week but is completely stressed out so independently working "full on". He's in the library 8 hours a day including weekends. I'm actually quite concerned about him as he's repeating sixth form behaviour - working too hard early on when the results don't matter and not getting the results he deserves when it does. He was socialising loads in the first term but is retreating under the pressure.

@LaBelleSauvage123 I would advise they continue their travels where healthcare can be accessed reasonably easily. We've delayed our summer holiday plans until things become clearer.

We have an appointment for DD this weekend re MMR - she got double "single jabs" for everything except mumps thanks to Wakefield. Interesting that the single mumps vaccine may be available again privately which we waited so patiently for all those years ago. We'll probably just get the MMR.....

Mumps for DS is a concern but he's been fully vaccinated so while not 100% immune, at less risk of complications. We know a handful of boys who were ill with mumps over Christmas. Lots of photos of chubby faces being shared on social media....

[NewModelArmyMayhem18]

When DD got a recent consent form from school for her meningitis jab and booster one (for diptheria, polio and tetanus), there was the option for those who hadn't had their MMR ones to do so.

I know a boy (one of DS's primary school friends) who got mumps despite having had the single jabs when little.

What subject is your DS doing @Jano69 (sorry for not remembering)?

[bigTillyMint]

@Jano69, is your DS at Durham? Mine has loads of summatives due in, so I hope he is getting his nose to the grindstone (between gf and footy) to get them done and in. He did v v little in the first term - maybe similar to your DS?

[Decorhate]

Re Mumps. I know two boys who caught this in spite of having both lots of MMR. I got my ds another round before he went to uni (paid privately at local pharmacy) so hopefully he is more protected now.

Re contact hours - ds is the doing the same subject I did. My hours were 9-5 every day but he seems to have considerably fewer contact hours...

[justasking111]

I think at the beginning of the first term they are cut some slack because the uni. knows some will go wild, well most. Then the real work kicks in. DS is working at lectures but expected to use library etc. even at weekends, he has deadlines he has to meet. Someone wombled in half an hour late with his work and was told tough it will not be marked. I am happy with this, coz it is the real world is it not.

[SchrodingersKitty]

Hopping back in after a long time out. I'm not really sure whether to be worried about my DS or not (Oxford, joint humanities subject). He's working very hard - in libraries for long hours, which he finds helps with his concentration (he worked mostly in his room for the first term and found he got more distracted). He has dyspraxia, so has to put in more hours to get the reading done. He panics when he's not sure of expectations (his joint course paper has very unclear instructions which they are all finding very confusing), but is getting all the work in on time and doing reasonably well (though 2:is rather than firsts, which he is capable of in principle).

My main concern is that he seems very isolated in college. He feels that all of the others have formed tight groups and he finds it difficult to break in. Mainly, this is because he is doing a lot of socialising outside college, with two societies which take up about 3 or 4 evenings a week and one day most weekends. He does have people to share a college flat with next year, but he hasn't seen much of them this term and is feeling a bit paranoid about that, I think. I make suggestions about going along to the college events but they either clash with his other activities or he avoids them. He is much given to intellectualising his issues rather than just doing minor practical things that might make them better. He does push himself now and then, but tends not to follow through. He finds general social chit-chat difficult and is not interested in the clubbing and getting drunk element of social life, so prefers socialising where there is shared interest (hence him having thrown himself into Uni societies - one of which he is now running).

Part of the issue is that he had a gap year (deferred place) and most of the people in his subjects in college didn't, so he feels a bit different from them. He has more in common with the older years, and is associating a lot with them and post-grads in societies. He has liked some of the second and third years he's met in college, but they live out so are around less.

I'm trying hard not to expect him to repeat my Oxford experience (I was more social there than ever before or since), but I do feel he is missing out on opportunities to learn how to deal better with social situations. Though as people have said upthread, we didn't have all the devices that allow them to spend time pretty happily alone, and socialising was really the only thing to do other than working.

I hope that when he's in a flat next year he'll end up doing rather more of the casual hanging out with other people.

[justasking111]

They grow up a lot in a gap year, I can see your point. DS does not bother socialising has not joined a single society unlike his older siblings. I just let him march to his own drum. He was pretty unsocial at school as well. He did go to Manchester last weekend to meet up with two friends from primary school.

[Benjispruce]

I mentioned upthread that I was told by a go that if you get mumps after being vaccinated, it will be much less severe.

[bigTillyMint]

@SchrodingersKitty, I am surprised that he is finding everyone is straight from school / whilst my DC are straight from school, they have met many others in their year group who are a year or more older.

Being in a society should help with meeting older students? DS has made good friends with boys 2 or 3 years older in his sport. He is also very comfortable around older students and finds some of the freshers very naive and inexperienced - his close friends from his college all seem to have done gap years.
Perhaps next year will be better for your DS as he won’t be constantly surrounded by others who he doesn’t really click with?

[Ginfordinner]

DD had a gap year, but being at the much younger end of the year she hasn't found it difficult to bond with students straight from school. She does have a couple of older students in her flat though.

Apparently in the U.S. students can get a booster jab but over here it's not (yet) been deemed necessary

I asked at our GP practice if DD could have a booster before she went to university and they refused.

That Andrew Wakefield has a helluva lot to answer for, that's all I can say. Our DC's cohort is the one most impacted by his phony research findings and the ensuing fall-out of non-vaccinating. GRRRR.

I couldn’t agree more. I can’t believe that there are still posts on MN from uneducated parents who still believe his codswallop.

[Benjispruce]

2 of my DD’s uni friends are a year older having had a gap year.

[HoldMyLobster]

Interesting - I did a bit of googling and found this:

"The CDC advises most adults born in 1957 or afterward who can't show that they've had all 3 diseases get an MMR vaccine, whether they had one as a child or not."

Hmmmm. Think I might talk to our GP about whether we should all get another shot. DH and I aren't sure what vaccinations we had as children. All I know is that I've had the smallpox vax, because the country where I was born fined parents who didn't ensure their babies received it.

I know my children had their MMR but it sounds like they're saying a third dose increases protection against mumps.

[Ginfordinner]

I'm 61, and we all had the rubella vaccination at 13. I predate the MMR obviously. I had measles as a child and was pretty ill. It affected my sight and hearing. I never had mumps though. It wasn't very common when I was a child.

[Benjispruce]

I’m 48 and had rubella jab at school at 13. Don’t know if I had anything for measles or mumps.

[Benjispruce]

Maybe I did according to this. DM was always pro vaccination.
www.chop.edu/centers-programs/vaccine-education-center/vaccine-history/developments-by-year