Guest post: Abortion Support Network - "In Ireland, motherhood is the punishment for poverty"

[MumsnetGuestPosts]

What would you do if the condom broke? If you were pregnant as result of rape? If you had three children but no job? If your wanted pregnancy was diagnosed with a fatal anomaly? What if you lived in a country where abortion is against the law?

"Please help. I've tried everything to try to miscarry... I've been drinking excessively, I've tried throwing myself down stairs, and even tried to overdose. I can't have this child. I don't want it!" – ASN client

In both Northern Ireland (despite being part of the UK) and the Republic of Ireland, abortion is almost completely illegal. And as studies have shown, making abortion illegal doesn't stop or even reduce the incidence of abortion. It just stops safe abortion. Or put another way, for those across the Irish seas faced with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy, women and couples with money have options, and women and couples without money have babies, or take dangerous and desperate measures.

Abortion Support Network is a tiny charity that provides practical information on how to arrange the least expensive abortion and travel, financial assistances towards the cost of abortion and travel, and accommodation in volunteer homes to women forced to travel from Ireland and Northern Ireland for abortions. ASN does this with a mobile phone, a website, a database, one part-time employee, dozens of volunteers, and amazing individuals who give us money.

We do this is because we think being a parent is an important, fulfilling and difficult job, and not a role that should be forced on someone who doesn't want it. Parenting shouldn't be meted out as punishment to people who have non-procreative sex, but not £400-£2,000 in the bank.

"I used to have a job but it's so expensive to have someone mind the children. My partner has only been able to find work sporadically and we've been rationing food for the kids and have had the electricity turned off we're so short of money. We borrowed money for the flights and that money will need to be paid back too."

There is no typical woman who needs an abortion. ASN has heard from women as old as 51 and girls as young as 13. Women in or escaping abusive relationships, women pregnant as result of rape, women with serious mental or physical health issues. Women with children, women with grandchildren, women with no children. Married couples who felt they had enough children already. Students wanting to continue their educations rather than their pregnancies.

What did these people all have in common? They were pregnant. They didn't want to be pregnant. They are poor. And they never in a million years thought they'd be calling a stranger in England to ask for money to pay for an abortion.

"I was raped last month but never did anything about it as I blamed myself. I have now discovered I'm pregnant. I can't possibly bring a child into this world at this time in my life and I would rather die than go through with this pregnancy. I need to have an abortion but I haven't got the money."

All of the obstacles placed in front of women forced to travel for abortion care mean that very often, they are later in term. While fewer than 1.4% of abortions performed in the UK take place between 20 and 24 weeks gestation, at least 7% of ASN's clients need abortions at that stage. This is due to the delays caused by needing to raise funds, apply for passports, or, even more time-consuming, visas. Tragically, more than ten ASN clients have arrived in England only to find that they are over the legal limit for a termination – sometimes by as little as one day.

"I have several children including one who is quite ill. My husband abandoned us and I've never left my children before. I was saving up the money but am now past 14 weeks which means the price has gone up from £350 to £600, which seems impossible. If I am not able to do this before I am 18 weeks and six days the cost doubles to over £1,300. I just cannot see any way to do this. I had no idea that women in Ireland had to go through this."

ASN is a small organisation trying to alleviate an enormous problem. The Department of Health may be reporting falling numbers of women travelling to England for abortions, but calls to Abortion Support Network have increased year on year, from 89 in our first full year to 552 in 2014, an increase of 520%.

"I have two very young children and the youngest was diagnosed with a severe disability. I am so scared this baby will have the same or worse and either way I can’t handle caring for another child."

The women and couples who contact ASN are the living embodiment of the cost of making abortion illegal. We don't ask how a pregnancy occurred or why an abortion is wanted. We don't even ask if the caller is a woman. Our only criteria for funding is financial need and whether or not we have money in the bank. Abortion Support Network is a sticking plaster on this situation, not a solution. While groups like Abortion Rights Campaign Ireland and Alliance for Choice campaign for much needed law reform, we are providing women with the help they need most immediately: money.

"I never understood before how being able to have an abortion could be empowering, but now I do".

[madcapped]

What a great charity. Thanks for bringing to to my attention. It is one I will keep in mind when I am able to contribute again.

[Enormouse]

Is it the piece in the telegraph?

[GatoradeMeBitch]

If Vivienne isn't going to come back her comment should just be disregarded. Anyway, I am happy to donate to this cause.

[Viviennemary]

Yes it was the piece in the Telegraph. I was busy googling it to find out exactly what it said.

[GatoradeMeBitch]

OK, I read the piece. It's the usual anti-choice whining.

I read the comments too. I see the Telegraph has become another watering hole for mouth breathers. Did you know that we are misandrist headcases and feminists gone mad?

[GeorgeYeatsAutomaticWriter]

Meh. Read the piece.

Easy to say you 'disapprove' when you live in a country where abortion is accessible.

[JustineMumsnet]

Here's an update we've posted in response to the Telegraph's reporting of our backing of this charity fyi.

[LurcioAgain]

Fantastic choice of charity. Well done mumsnetters and MNHQ!

[Enormouse]

Thank you justine and hq for your integrity and listening to your members. I'm very proud to be part of such a community.

If it's not a cause you feel you can support then don't donate. I've donated to the other charities because I feel strongly about them too, especially Swan and IPSEA.

[TheBabyFacedAssassin]

That Telegraph piece is disgusting.

ASN should not have to exist. They provide a lifeline for women and families who need their help, women and families who have been shunned by their own country at their time of greatest need.

I for one almost shed a tear when I read that MN had selected this organisation, it showed that the people of MN care more about us that our own government does.

[TheBabyFacedAssassin]

And when I said that Telegraph piece I meant their original piece, not the MN response! It was fab!

[Backforthis]

The Telegraph article describes ASN as

'a group which encourages women in Ireland, north and south, to obtain pills to terminate their pregnancy.'

FFS. Encourages.

Has the Telegraph officially given up on journalism now? It's much quicker to just c&p statements from anti choice Christian groups.

Now off to donate.

[Enormouse]

assassin nest of vipers indeed.

[HapShawl]

Vivienne you should watch the documentary here vesselthefilm.com which gives the background to the "medications by post" aspect - it's about the organisation Women on Waves/Web

[midnightvelvet01]

Thank you for highlighting this charity.

I read a book once that was a collection of first hand accounts from American women at a time when abortion was illegal in the US, & it has stayed with me. Desperate women tried desperate things to abort, drinking toxic cleaners, trying to self abort with an untwisted wire coathanger & sometimes suicide. Illegal abortions were available but cost thousands & were performed with filthy equipment and no after care, I remember one account where the woman had kerosene sprayed into her uterus as part of an illegal abortion. She died. Other women were sent away bleeding & infected & it all had to be kept secret as it was illegal of course, so these women could not seek legitimate help from a doctor or hospital afterwards.

I'm not suggesting these things happen in modern Ireland, but what recourse would you have as a young desperate woman who does not want a baby? Why is the onus & punishment always directed towards the mother?!

A woman must not be forced into motherhood against her will, it is hard & demanding & relentless at times & those of us who are or have been single parents would attest to that. Add in a traumatised mother and an unwanted baby and its an impossible position for both lives.

[EducateTogetheralumnus]

Well done Justine - although a logical response to madness rarely gets anyone anywhere. The Telegraph ought to be ashamed of themselves.

[EducateTogetheralumnus]

Did we hit the £2k for ASN yesterday by the way?

[Enormouse]

midnight at my lowest, I did wonder if there was a way I could throw myself down the stairs. Not hard enough to kill myself but enough to cause an abortion. Or what did I have in the house I could take an overdose of.

Thank God, there was someone I could turn to and ask for help. That I found the support I needed.

It is awful that I got to that point and I like to think I'm a reasonably intelligent women in her 20s with a supportive partner. It saddens and hurts me to think of those women with no support, no access to the insane amount of money they need to travel, young and scared that would reach that same point and not know where to turn.

[Enormouse]

educate it's at about £3,000 or thereabouts. The targets been upped to £4,000

[midnightvelvet01]

Enormouse I didn't know your story & I'm sorry if my post upset you or caused you any hurt.

The book was like someone had switched a light on in my brain, I had no idea of the struggles other women were enduring & I had no knowledge of the subject.

Like you, the thought that women have no way out is unthinkable, the idea that a frightened woman tonight or tomorrow morning will harm herself is outrageous.

[wheeler]

yes i have also seen the nasty article in the Telegraph - that crusading journal against women's reproductive rights - and am now more minded than ever to support ASN and tell everyone i know to do so. it is shameful that we need a service such as ASN, which is like the abortion funds in the US which arrange travel for women from states where it's illegal to states where they ca get an abortion. until this stops ASN is critical.

[Enormouse]

It's ok midnight. It's a few months ago that I went through that and it feels like it could almost be a lifetime ago. That was the mindset I was in at the time I made the call to ASN and I'm sure the frame of mind lots of women will be in when they call. Nobody should have those thoughts on top of having to make the decision to terminate a pregnancy.

I'm fine with sharing my experiences if they encourage people to donate and support ASN in any way they can.

[PuffinsAreFictitious]

On the back of that vile and stupid piece of gutter journalism in the Torygraph, I'm going to be making a monthly donation.

So they can fuck off.