is anyone else uncomfortable describing their child as gifted

[dalziel1]

.. or talented.

Both my boys are very good some aspects of school work. one of them has an excellent memory and the other can work out complex mathematical things without having the usual explanations first. He always gets the right answer, but very often, he is unable to describe the process by which he got there.

i think most people would say that my boys are highly able or intelligent, but they aren't gifted (or talented). They can't sing or make a musical instrument play beautiful music, they can't draw or paint, and I seriously doubt that either of them will ever make a scientific breakthrough, write a classic novel or prove a mathematical hypothesis.

To me G&T is a misnomer, and its actually an unfortunate label for a child to accept for themselves.

[Miggsie]

I found it useful as it concentrated my mind on what DD needed.
She is talented in music (performs regularly and has had professionals comment on her ability) and gifted in an academic subject (constantly wins the school prize).

However it got me thinking on what she didn't find easy: interaction with some class mates, handling conflict, standing up for herself etc.
So I've concentrated on those areas and her emotional well-being - school sorts out the other two just fine.

I do not refer to her in RL as gifted or talented but if someone asks, I will say what she had done in a factual way, but only if asked.

Another parent uses the gifted label constantly and goes on and on about how gifted their child is and ignores other areas their child is weaker in by saying "as they are so gifted in X they don't really need to know about Y" - this includes making friends successfully. To me, that's when referring to the child as gifted gets to be a problem as it blinds the parents and teachers to possible areas where the child is weak or having issues and also places too much emphasis on the thing the child is good at and so I feel the child becomes expected to be good at that and only values that as part of themselves, and that others only value them for that. This can be negative later in life.

Also, DD goes to a school where they don't talk about gifted and talented - they just talk about ability and potential, for ALL the kids. They don't venerate a select few to the detriment of the rest (the reason we chose the school).

[ArcheryAnnie]

I think the G&T label is a poisoned chalice. Mine was labelled as such (for maths) for a while in primary, but I never mentioned it to him, or to other parents. He is reasonably bright, and but I have always told him that being bright isn't enough, and whilst being very bright is nice, it isn't unusual or that much of a big deal - you have to work hard as well.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

The label meant absolutely nothing in primary school, other than access to a mostly very weakly run more able maths group once a week when they had the staff to run it.

In secondary school it seems to mean that dd gets to go on various outings and competitions for different subjects, which is all very well and fun and i'm glad she gets the opportunity , but actually I think there are other kids who probably need the encouragement. dd knows exactly what she wants in life and is working her way towards that.

She is genuinely gifted in one subject and for that we are grateful for any extra support and encouragement and competitions that the school give us and whilst they dont always get it quite right, dd is currently stimulated and happy.

on a personal level though I wish the subject wouldnt come up with almost all of my friends (I have one who celebrates alongside me in a genuine way and that is really nice) . I find it really awkward with most people. I am very proud of dd - she works hard to be where she is - but I just can't read their reactions when I answer questions about her. I try to keep it vague, but its not easy.

[Branleuse]

I dont think it means anything much in real terms, although im sure its nice to hear that sort of thing about your child, and it would certainly be useful to know which subjects a parent could provide extra stimulation for their child in

G&T only really applies to certain school subjects rather than the child in general

[jeee]

My children's school used to send home letters from the G & T register, unsealed. I remember my son dancing down the street singing "I'm gifted and talented, I'm gifted and talented " (I did have words with ds about this). After this incident I spoke to the school and politely asked that such letters were sent home in a sealed envelope. The person I spoke to told me how nice it was that my son's intelligence was being celebrated. Er, yes. But what had he actually done that deserved celebration? And the letters continued to come home unsealed.

FWIW, my children aren't gifted in any real sense. They are, however, bright. And the school stretched them without the need for recourse to such labels. I don't actually know what the G & T activities were like as, generally my children refused to attend them (they clashed with sports activities).

[morethanpotatoprints]

I don't think the label means anything particular in the education system at all.
if you have a G&T child and are an involved parent you will know this anyway and unless the school are able to differentiate work to your particular subject or plough extra resources into their learning it seems worthless.

I think Miggsie makes a point about being told by people in the know that your child is G&T is the best indicator.
At school dd was G&T for music, just because she is. At 6/7 she was working professionally and in terms of voice has been assessed by leading educators to be 5 years beyond her age. She reduces audiences to tears (not that bad) and people tell her all the time that she has a gift.
To me this is different to being on G&T list at school because you happen to play 3 blind mice on a trumpet and the rest of your class can't.

[FastLoris]

It's a bullshit term because it tries to pretend we can somehow tell the difference between abilities children have for various environmental reasons, and abilities they've been mysteriously "gifted" with (by whom?).

We can't. All we can tell is that some people, measured at a particular point in their lives, are better at some things than other people.

I dislike it partly because it sends the wrong message to children, who should be encouraged to accept that they will get what they work for, not the fruits of some gift they were supposedly born with. But mostly I dislike it because it's bullshit.

[mathanxiety]

I really don't like labels unless they are being applied and used intelligently and very discreetly and without the student's knowledge (and sometimes without the parents' knowledge).

Interesting article.. Sometimes the really gifted student presents as the child with the problems, the square peg. There is far more to it than achievement. In fact formal achievement often doesn't com into it at all.