Here I go again, got sent home from work because I couldn't stop crying

[Saltire]

I managed to pull myself together enough to get the bus home. I thought I was getting better. Made a right fool of myself at school as well. DS1's class are away all week on a residentail trip. He has been a bit unsure if he wanted to go and kept saying he didn't wantt to go and that he would miss me, and getting very upset. It was his decision to go though. So today took him up to school and I was in floods of tears saying cheerio to him. He has been driving me to despair the past month, and his dad being away has affected him worse than either of us thought, and I thought a bit of a break from me would do him good. I keep imagining all sorts of thing going wrong though.
I feel like I'm back to square one metally, and even though I know I will only have ds2 and myself this week am already getting very anxious and panicky!

[KatieScarlett2833]

Hi Saltire, my DC's went missing last night for an hour and I was so anxious and upset when they came home I went completely over the top in lambasting them and feel like shit now. Cursing and swearing like a madwoman.If there had been ice cream nearby, it would have been thrown too!

I can't sleep either (Last night I was in the cast of Green Wing....?)

I am already on 40mg Citralopam and feel like they are not working at all. Have another week on my med cert and feel like crap because I know I'm going to need another one and work are not going to be amused. Can't believe I'm back in the same place again.

[Saltire]

Thing is though Katie, I haven't been this bad since I had PND 9 years ago, not tot his extent.
there's a lot going on, I have pretty much constant pain due to Fibromyalgia, I have a DH who is away for 4 months and am in a place I hate passionatley, with 2 DSes who are stressing me out with their behaviour, they answer back, they defy me, theya re rude, they swear and they argue constantly. I'm not sleeping well,and when I do sleep i get wierd dreams (the other nightt I was an undercover cop in The Bill), I am often awake from 4/5 am, and I work 12 hours a week.
I just feel like I am completely losing the plot. The other night I locked the Dses out because they wouldn't come in, I threw ice cream at the wall.

[OrmIrian]

Are you taking any ads saltire?

I have suffered from depression/anxiety before now and have benefitted from citalopram. Back in september I was a mess - incapable of doing anything without tears and stress. I couldn't function as I was. I feel much better now.

[Eve34]

I promise I am not a mad stalker or anything, just understnad how difficult and lonely it can be.

[KatieScarlett2833]

Hi Saltire, your post could have been written by me 2 weeks ago.

Have suffered on and off with anxiety/depression for years, have been back at work doing fine for nearly 2 years only to freefall 2 weeks ago. I'm signed off again and feel dreadful.

aaarrgh!

[Saltire]

I put on ym sunglasses and took teh dog out. So at least one of us is happy. I now need to calm down before Ds2 arrives home

Eve34- I know you are, you told me on my other thread where you are, thank you

[Eve34]

Hope you are ok, if you need some company I am only down the m27. please just take sometime for yourself x

[Lemontart]

Saltire, I am so sorry to see how upset and down you are feeling. I am not the right person to offer specific advice or support but can offer my sympathy and a big virtual hug.

If talking it through somewhere online like this helps you through it, keep talking and we are all here by your (virtual) side listening and understanding xxx

[jooseyfruit]

sorry to hear you're not feeling good saltire, don't know your 'history' as it were,but you sound like you've got a lot heaped on your shoulders.

can you stick on your sunglasses and take the dog out? no one will be able to tell you're crying. you might feel a bit better after a good walk

sorry, don't know what else to say.

[cornsilk]

Oh no Saltire. What has worked for you in the past?

[Saltire]

No, no welfare service that I know of. HIVE keep telling me "oh we don't deal with RAF we are Naval HIVEs".
I need to take the dog out, I've been home for ages and have just sat crying, but I can't stop long enough to do it

[Scootergrrrl]

Is there anyone there you can talk to? Welfare office, AWS, etc?