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Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

Fed up, bored, trapped and lonely!!

19 replies

TiredBunny · 11/03/2005 22:20

I hate evenings.... reminds me how alone I am. Have great friends but being a single mum with an ex who isnt interested means i am trapped. i am seeing a man who picks me up and puts me down when he fancies and i hate myself for letting him. I am scared to tell him to get lost because then I have nothing. Feel really selfish feeling like this. adore my dd but wish my life was different. Any advice or words of wisdom.xx

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TiredBunny · 13/03/2005 16:56

Thanks everyone and no night owl your post didnt sound harsh just truthful.... which is maybe what i need. had a night out with prospective p last night which was great buthe admitted to blowing hot and cold and doesnt know why.... etc etc Has rung me today and arranged to come round later (usually he just drops in). I am too soft I know. Am trying to sort my head out.

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TiredBunny · 13/03/2005 16:56

Thanks everyone and no night owl your post didnt sound harsh just truthful.... which is maybe what i need. had a night out with prospective p last night which was great buthe admitted to blowing hot and cold and doesnt know why.... etc etc Has rung me today and arranged to come round later (usually he just drops in). I am too soft I know. Am trying to sort my head out.

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tammybear · 12/03/2005 22:50

hi tiredbunny, just seen this. hope you're okay. i had to respond, as im sort of in a similar situation to you. im a single mum, exp sees dd once a month for an afternoon. ive just split up with xdp, who i love but know im probably better off with out, no matter how much i miss him and want him back. im glad you've got good friends helping you out. i have friends, but none of them seem to understand how i feel. i was talking to one of them about my break up with xdp, and the first thing she said afterwards was "so you going to have any more kids?"

hope your break away will help. i really would love to go away just to clear my head of things, as i think it would help me. and the ADs should help you. Ive been on them before when Ive hit rock bottom and they do help. (((hugs))) xxx

nightowl · 12/03/2005 22:27

tiredbunny, i know its hard being alone. im a single mum with two kids, different dads. ds's dad sees him but hes a waste of space really and dd's dad has refused to ever meet her.

now my story is this: when i first split from ds's dad i was very lonely and i had a bf who i adored. he would dump me and then come back over and over again, he would turn up at stupid hours of the morning when i had work then next day. he was cruel and would laugh in the background while women phoned me and told me they were in bed with him. he never let me be a part of his life, i never met his parents even after two years...i could go on and on. i was too scared to tell him to get lost as i was so alone until one night i finally snapped and ended it. i didnt see him for years and got my life back together. then i bumped into him and he was different. i had never seen him be affectionate even at the start, but now he was..he would stalk me, turn up at work, at my house...he begged me to be with him for months. i took it all as casual, i was just intending to play him and hurt him like he had hurt me years ago. so what did he do? he got me pregnant and dissapeared and thats where dd came from. although i love her and dont regret having her, he just came back and screwed up my life again. dont let this happen to you..you never know what is around the corner but really, hanging onto a man like that will only bring you misery. get rid of him...you will feel so much better in time...honestly. i know its easier said than done but hes bringing you down and it sounds like hes using you and just taking advantage. hope my post doesnt sound harsh xx

jamiesam · 12/03/2005 22:07

You do burn the candle....

Have a nice trip, hope you sort your head out.

TiredBunny · 12/03/2005 01:49

As for the ADs.... I think they are actually beta blockers to stop anxiety though i am not sure they are working. think i need to make big changes in my life. going away soon with my dd so will do lots of thinking then. night x

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TiredBunny · 12/03/2005 01:47

Thanks...... am awake now and cant sleep. trouble is he makes me feel fantastic when it is going well and pants when it isnt. I hate myself for being such a mug.

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jamiesam · 11/03/2005 23:48

Tiredbunny

There are loads of MN in Yorkshire, most (unlike me) who meet up regularly, day and nite.

If you are in S Yorks, I would be more than happy to meet up - I have 3 and 1 yr old ds who could tire out your dd.

Sorry, but I am not in your situation, but would try to be a shoulder etc if that would help.

Toothache · 11/03/2005 22:51

Tiredbunny - There's nothing to be upset about being on AD's. They are helping you get stronger aren't they? Or they will help. This man is clearly not making you feel good about yourself or helping you. He's also stopping YOU going out and finding someone that values you! If you feel strong enough, you should tell him to lay off for a while.

nutcracker · 11/03/2005 22:35

Tiredbunny - Don't settle for that bloke just because you don't want to be alone.

Read my latest posts on the do you still love your dp/dh thread.

TiredBunny · 11/03/2005 22:30

He has had a rough time but it is sort of assumed that it will all improve with time. I miss company, love and just someone who likes me for me. have been on and off meds since dd was born adn am really upset that i have ended up back on them.

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Toothache · 11/03/2005 22:29

Tiredbunny - Posts crossed sorry. That's really shit of your ex to be like that.

TiredBunny · 11/03/2005 22:28

I have ace friends and they are all coming out of the wood work. One friend knows how I am feeling (she has been through it) but the restjus t cant understand...

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Toothache · 11/03/2005 22:28

Tiredbunny - Even when DH is wokring late I'm like that with Ds (3.8yrs).

What is it you miss when you are alone? Do you just want company or is it intimacy? Is this man you have an on/off relationship with EVER going to offer you more than this?

katierocket · 11/03/2005 22:26

tiredbunny I honestly think single parents have the toughest job in the world. I really mean that, it must be so sapping and tiring. Try to stay away from the other bloke, he'll just drag you down. Do you have family nearby or good friends who could mind DD even for a few hours so you could get out and do something else?

TiredBunny · 11/03/2005 22:26

fanks..... i have felt worse since my ex found a new woman and has deserted us.... wasnt much use anyway but would help in an emergency. sent me an email today saying he basically wanted nothing more than 30 hours a month of his dds time.

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TiredBunny · 11/03/2005 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HUNKERMUNKER · 11/03/2005 22:23

No advice, no words of wisdom, but plenty of huge smothery hugs and lots of love hun xxxxxx

Toothache · 11/03/2005 22:23

Tiredbunny - Thats not selfish, you're lonely. It must be scary sometimes being a single Mum. How old is your dd? Where are you? (not specifically, but roughly).

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