Been prescribed anti-depressants. Why does it feel like admitting defeat?

[Dragonbutter]

Have all the symptoms of depression...tearfulness, lack of confidence, insomnia, anxiety, constant worrying, irritability.

I've been trying to 'snap out of it' for a while by forcing myself to get out and be sociable. I've even taken a part time job to get me out of the house, but nothing is helping and i'm getting worse and i'm not functioning as i need to.

Finally i went to the GP yesterday who prescribed 20mg Citalopram. Took first one last night and woke this morning feeling nauseous and have a bad headache.

I'm doing the right thing in taking them aren't I?

[mummyhill]

Ok here's my take on it if you had a headache you would take paracetamol, if you broke your leg you would have it put in a cast so why fight against AD's they like paracetamol or a cast help you to get better. They are not the only or complete answer but they are a very good starting point. Combine them with healthy eating and regular exercise and you are on the right track. Another important thing to do is to talk, to your GP, family, here on mumsnet, to people in real life that you trust or look for a website dedicated to helping people to deal with depression.

[Dragonbutter]

thanks everyone for your support.
just taken 2nd dose so am expecting to feel wretched again tomorrow.
really can't wait to feel not-depressed, have forgotten what it feels like.

[mummyhill]

It does get better.

[Iworryalot]

in denial still , still think i can make myself better, have one good day then a bad one ,also have the thought of taking ADs feel such a failure

[ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe]

You are not a failure.

People need to get past this. If you broke your arm you would take pain killers. Your brain is broken and you need medicine.

I hope you get the help you deserve.

[Iworryalot]

thankyou ,i know your right ,i guess i just think i should be able to cope others do so why cant i .
feels such a big step but im sure once i have i will feel a whole lot better .

[ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe]

But you are not others. You are you, and all the others might be feeling crap too but hiding it.

Everyone thought I would sail through having been a nanny but I was the only one in my aqua natal group to get PND. I have 3 children and have had PND each time as well as ANd once.

Take the pills, get through the side effects and look forward to feeling well again.

[Monkeytrousers]

Well re the thread title - that's obvioulsy the depression talking isn't it?!

Congratulations and well done. You can look forward to hearing your own (not so pessamistic) voice in a few weeks time!

[Dragonbutter]

no nausea today, just overwhelming tiredness.

am wondering what it will feel like to not feel depressed. sometimes i think i've always been this way.

iworryalot, i've been going back and forth for weeks whether i need AD's or not. in fact on and off for a few years. but this time i want to get well properly and get on with my life. i feel like i'm wasting all this time i have with the kids because i feel miserable and they get on my nerves. in a lot of ways, i'm doing this for them.
have you discussed it with your GP?
for a while, i would make an appointment but wake up and be having a good day so cancel it.
i'm looking forward to feeling well now.

[Dragonbutter]

somebody tell me to go to bed.

[regularlyoverwhelmed]

how you doing today DB?

I felt exhausted for teh first couple of weeks on citalopram too - it wears off. I take Vit B complex now (very good for energy and nervous stress too) and CoQ10 daily and try to get as much sleep as possible. The overwhelming tiredness should wear off soon and you'll start to feel much better

I'm like you, I think I may have ALWAYS been slightly depressed - a kind of chronic, low grade depression, always seeing the glass half empty and seeing reasons not to do things...am not so much like that anymore, have much more confidence too, and I used to blush awfully if I had to speak in public, not any more...I told my GP I'd have to kill him if he suggested taking me off them! I know most people want to come off at some stage, but right now I think they are the best thing that ever happened to me (well, that's a slight exagerration - my kids are obviously that!) and I don't see myself wanting to give them up anytime soon

hope they work for you too, try to relax, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of water and just wait to feel better, you should soon

(sorry for the essay btw)

[Iworryalot]

can you drink alcohol when taking these tablets ? about to start but do like to have aglass of wine to unwind ...

[vixma]

Well done for fighting the feeling.....you have done everything to discourage the fact you have depression....and it sounds like you have fought it with a passion....When I had depression I did the same and I did everything to shak it off. I finally went to the doc and they offered me medication and also counselling which helped because my life with the people around me who I loved was weird and I was not myself....It is not a fun time and thank heavens for the support.....good luck, and well done.

[mummyhill]

You could theoretically have a glass of wine but I wouldn't. Alcohol is a depressant and will counteract your tablets.

[Dragonbutter]

Hi, the headache has gone, but i feel really wiped out and tired. Still a little bit of nausea too but it comes and goes.
Hanging in there, and still optimistic that the AD's are going to work in the long term.If the side-effects don't get worse from this then i think i'll be ok. I'm on day 4.

Iworryalot, i like a glass of wine to unwind but i'm hoping the AD's will make it easier for me to relax and to sleep better without alcohol. I don't think it's terrible if you have a glass of wine, i know friends who do, so it's not like you have to become a tea-totaller.

[Dragonbutter]

thanks califrau,
i think the difference is that depression feels like an inability to cope. the sense of failure comes from seeing many other people cope so much better in the same circumstances or in some cases even more difficult circumstances.

but then if the depression as an illness is what is hindering me from coping, then yes, i hope the medication allows me to view things in a more positive light.

[Dragonbutter]

so what comes first, the side effects subsiding or the feeling of not being depressed.
it's rubbish having both.

[Iworryalot]

poor you Dragon , and well done for not giving up , havent started mine yet ,im sure if i get any side effects im sure to stop taking them ,i worry so much about the side efects i may have, im still in denial that i need them....
i have other health issues and trying to sort them out as well
one day at a time i guess ..

,but anx plays a huge part for me .

[nuggetmummy]

Side effects usually settle in the first week. Improvement with depression takes 2 to 4 weeks. - that's the official line.

I found side effects settled after a few days with me. Started to feel better after a week or so but I think that was more to do with fact that DH now knew how I felt and I didnt have to pretend I was fine anymore.

And I'm so glad I'm on them now - I feel I can cope with the bumps of life without feeling it is the end of the world now.
HTH x

[Dragonbutter]

iworryalot, what's stopping you from taking them? my thinking is that my GP wouldn't have prescribed them if she didn't think it was the right route.

[Iworryalot]

scared i guess

[Dragonbutter]

are you waiting to see what happens to me?
go on, we could do this together.

[moodlumthehoodlum]

Honestly, I feel much better on them. It was a big deal, but now I'm so glad I took them.

[Iworryalot]

your 4 days ahead of me dragon but thankyou for the offer.denial is a big factor and wishing i could sort this out myself without pills i guess ,but as you know it isnt that easy .....silly i know ..