ECT..

[hk1993x]

I have just had my second go of ECT. I am being treated as an outpatient. It has been hard going in twice a week, getting put to sleep and wakening up with the worst headaches ever. The doctor is recommending at least 6 sessions. The thing is, I'm more 99.9% sure my crap mental health is anxiety and OCD based, maybe even BPD? Can I ask for another assessment to be done as I seem to have anxiety depression ocd and adhd. It feels like ALOT. I seem to be scoring high for borderline personality disorder and Neuroticism on Dr google 🤦‍♀️

Also any experiences with ECT welcome some guidance would be great 💚

Sorry that was meant to say I have a diagnosis of ocd anxiety depression and adhd!

Also has anyone had thyroid medication to manage mental health? This is another suggestion by the Dr.

I JUST WANT TO WAKE UP NORMAL AND LOOK FORWARD TO THE DAY AHEAD 🥹

Bumping for you op x

I’ve had 3 series of ECT. Each time, they thought I was sorted after 12, but had to do a few more as symptoms started to reappear. I guess I’ve had somewhere in the region of 50 individual treatments.

For me, the worst thing was the impact on my memory. I didn’t lose any long term memory, but couldn’t really form memories properly while I was being treated. People would come and visit me in hospital and I would have no memory of it at all. Very strange.

Each time, it saved my life though. If you’re suicidal and the drugs don’t work, you have nothing to lose. I am so grateful for the recoveries I have had because of it and the life it has afforded me.

Any specific questions, let me know.

Hi thanks for replying! I just had my 5th one yesterday but woke up feeling quite sad and deflated today 🥹 and with the cold! 🤧

I'm not sure what their long term plan is, I had suicidal thoughts but I wanted to live but not like this so was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I also seem to have all these different diagnoses, tried lots of medication and just worried that I won't ever get better. Everytime I see a glimmer of hope it's ripped away by the stupid ocd and anxiety which feeds into the depression xx

Try not to overthink it right now. The ECT will be jumbling your thoughts, and the fact you’re ill enough to need it means you’ll be struggling to think straight too. Long term plans can be addressed once you’re over this hump.

One day soon, you’ll wake up and it will be like a break in the clouds. That should not be far off now, even if you relapse a bit and need a top up. 6 sessions sounds like a minimum, I’d manage your expectations and say you’ll feel significantly better by 12. Hopefully, you’ll then be surprised by it coming sooner!

Waking up from a treatment is always grim for me. Headache, sore jaw, dehydration. Don’t measure your mood at this point. Reflect on how you feel the day after, or the day after that.

I had many diagnoses running both concurrently and sequentially: atypical depression, anxiety, OCD, borderline personality disorder, dissociative disorder, to name a few! 30 years into my journey as a patient, and with a fixed diagnosis of bipolar disorder for nearly 10 years, I wouldn’t worry too much about the diagnosis. You need a doctor (or team) who knows you as an individual and will do the thinking on your behalf, while you are ill.

I also tried more meds than I can remember, multiple types from many families of drugs: antidepressants, mood stabilisers, antipsychotics, regular anti-anxiety, beta-blockers, benzodiazepines, sleeping pills. The ECT is the only thing that has ever shifted a deep dark depression.

Do you have someone at home with you between treatments? One series that I had was an outpatient, and I had moved home to be looked after by my Mum, who took compassionate leave from work. I definitely didn’t have the capacity to look after myself. Bless her, she’d try so hard to get me up every day between treatments. It was this time of year too, so she’d take me to a family farm to see the lambs or for a drive in the countryside, just to try and raise my spirits.

You are going to be ok. Statistically ECT is so much more effective than any of the alternatives, when dealing with treatment resistant depression. You know the risks and side effects, but you’re doing it anyway. 5 sessions is a good few, so that break in the clouds could come any day now.

I just feel like I've had all these diagnoses thrown at me and I don't know what to feel or think. Currently sitting on my couch having a cry. I'm home alone, my dh is away a walk with the dog but I didn't want to go, I just feel trapped. I'm still under the mental health team so might give them a ring. Everyone deserves so much better than me 😔 xx

You don’t need to decide what to feel or think about the diagnoses, other potential diagnoses, or the meds. Just get through each day as well as you can for the moment. The rest will come with time. Maybe you are a bit trapped at the moment, but it’s not forever.

Obviously, I don’t know about your illness or your circumstances, but I would suggest that you (well, DH) should get things arranged so you’re not having to spend any length of time on your own. Being ill enough to need ECCT is serious and it can leave you quite confused. If DH really needs to take the dog out for more than a few minutes, someone else should be popping in so you’re not left alone. Ask DH to be clear with them on your behalf though, that you’re not well enough to entertain and might just want to watch TV, stare into space or go and lie down.

I’ve had a lot of ECT and it’s got me from being ill enough to be admitted under section to well enough to be back at work where lots of drug combinations failed. I’m incredibly grateful for it whilst also wishing things were different. My memory has actually improved with ECT - I think it’s the severe depression that caused me problems. I’ve also taken some extra thyroid medication as an antidepressant and think it might have helped a bit too?
With the headaches, can you ask the recovery nurses to give you some paracetamol as soon as you wake up? That’s really helped me.