Thanks everyone and @colourblindrainbow
what you say really resonated with me: "It helps to know for sure as it helps me understand myself and accept myself more but I wish there was more support.
From the outside I am “high functioning” but the inside of my brain is a daily battle!"
I am noticing in it everyday things at work like really struggling with interruptions. I'm in a senior role and if people approach me to ask questions I often cannot unwrap my head around what I was doing and then digest what they are saying to me. I must have always been like this but I am noticing it now.
I often do not understand what people are asking for unless they spell it out.
The usual awkwardness with people, not knowing how to respond to things, being too blunt or black and white.
Struggling with noise, people being too close, even smells. I have to have certain bowls, cutlery, cups even at home.
I think I will seek a diagnosis as I believe it will help me manage myself better. I'm not sure whether to share with my employer but I suppose it should not hurt. I worry about being judged.