Is it really possible to overcome anxiety and depression long term?

[RhodaCamel]

Because for most of my life (I’m 47) has been blighted with anxiety and low mood. It just lives alongside me like a shadow, it has faded and loomed larger over the years but has never completely vanished. For the last 3-4 years it has been almost continuous and it honestly feels like it will never leave me.
I am currently in the middle of my 4th attempt at CBT. I genuinely put in so much effort with these sessions and implement my learnings into my everyday life but it has minimal impact. Nothing I’ve tried (counselling, CBT, alternative therapies like hypnotherapy etc) has had any long term impact and eventually the shadow creeps back over me.
I have tried antidepressants but give up (I am ashamed to say quite quickly) because, frankly I am petrified of them, of the potential side effects, of the thought of being on them long term and (I know this sounds ridiculous) but the thought of taking meds to control my mental health feels like I’ve given up the fight, like I’ve lost the ability to control my own mind (even writing that looks pathetic but it’s honestly how my mind thinks).
There are so many people now with poor mental health and it’s all I read about, I belong to lots of support groups online etc but it’s hard to find stories or RL people who say they have recovered and are free of poor mental health for the long haul.
Is this really a possibility, can it be overcome long term or for life? Like overcoming a disease?
Is there anyone out there who can say they are genuinely free of poor mental health having previously suffered greatly?

[Student133]

I'd also recommend having a listen to what dr Peterson has to say about it, hes a professor in the field, and whatever you think about his politics, he does a very good job of breaking down how depression tends to formulate, and a few ways to tackle it. His lectures certainly have me more insight into my condition, so hopefully this will help.

[Kidneybingo]

To add to an earlier message I put. It's really important to be kind to yourself over this. I now accept that I can't help it. It's not my fault. Personally, I'm open about it to family and friends and even work, but that's different for everyone. But by accepting it, I act earlier when I feel things dropping, I don't fight it so much. I go a bit easier on myself and take time to relax rather than beat myself up over housework or socialising, and I get help sooner if I need it. Realising that it's just part of me has helped me a lot.

[Asgoodasarest]

Meds really helped me. It took several weeks and a change to a different one, but once I started to get the benefit the difference in how I could cope was remarkable. They don’t cure all, but I felt like they gave me stability to do the extra work I needed to. I accept that this is something I live alongside and I’m ok with it. The amount of time and years I wasted trying to eradicate it and ‘fix’ myself probably did me more damage.
Look at it this way. If you went into a shoe shop, tried on a pair of shoes and found them uncomfortable, you’d try on a different pair. You wouldn’t assume you can’t wear shoes and accept you’ll be barefoot. Same with treatments, be it ADs or other. If something isn’t working, you can try something else. Lots of luck with the Drs.

[user18522478987665]

Think it depends on the cause.

Lots of people do not receive proper assessment and end up in the "depression and/or anxiety" bucket when it's actually something more complex like trauma or something else.

If you're trying to treat the wrong problem with the wrong tools you're not going to get very far (through no fault of your own).

[Pebblexox]

You can never truly overcome them. However you can learn to control them so they're much more manageable.
I refused medication for a long time. Went to therapy and thought I was getting better. Then one day it was as if I was sucked into a black hole and I couldn't get out of it. So I had to go to the doctors, and my gp pretty much told me medication was going to be only thing that could help as we'd exhausted the other options.
I still have bad days, and I still suffer with anxiety and depression. However the pills help, a lot. I just wish I'd have gone on the earlier, instead of thinking I could heal myself.

[Pebblexox]

You can never truly overcome them. However you can learn to control them so they're much more manageable.
I refused medication for a long time. Went to therapy and thought I was getting better. Then one day it was as if I was sucked into a black hole and I couldn't get out of it. So I had to go to the doctors, and my gp pretty much told me medication was going to be only thing that could help as we'd exhausted the other options.
I still have bad days, and I still suffer with anxiety and depression. However the pills help, a lot. I just wish I'd have gone on the earlier, instead of thinking I could heal myself.

[RhodaCamel]

Thanks everyone. I’ve not had a good couple of days and know that there is absolutely no joy in living this way, up and down on this emotional roller coaster which seems to be my life more frequently than not. I need to try meds.

[ColdTattyWaitingForSummer]

I had really severe depression and anxiety, to the point I tried to end my own life. I’d have panic attacks at the thought of being home alone with my children, but also at the thought of going out. It was a really dark time of my life. I didn’t find antidepressants worked for me (not saying they won’t for you, but I found they made me worse). Over the last several years I’ve:

• Got out of a relationship I realised was unhealthy
  
• Stayed single rather than getting straight into a new relationship
  
• Had counselling to deal with the above cycle of toxic / abusive relationships, talking through and untangling everything right back to my childhood
  
• Been diagnosed with a chronic pain and fatigue condition, which was causing many of the symptoms put down to depression, once I started the correct medication it really made a difference
  
• Found my faith and started going to church (I’m not preaching, just saying this was a huge part of me finding peace)
  
• Massively cut down on drinking alcohol (in fact for a long time I didn’t drink at all, now I have maybe one or two on a Friday night, and that’s not every week)
  

It’s not a “cure” but I’m no longer depressed, I still have occasional anxious feelings, but nothing I can’t deal with. So yes, I believe people can, and do, recover.

[Cherrycee]

I was also reluctant to take antidepressants OP. It took three years from the first time I went to the doctor about feeling overwhelmed and anxious (he tried to prescribe ADs and I was adamant I didn't need them), to the point where I accepted that all the CBT, therapy, exercise, etc, was just not working. Medication has made a big difference. I feel calmer, less stressed and better able to cope with problems.

It's such a shame that there's still a stigma about medication, it holds people back from getting help that will actually work (in the majority of cases).

[31133004Taff]

@RhodaCamel - sorry this is a rough day.

I think this thread should go into Classics. The advice is well balanced and supportive. I’m going to refer.

I’m going from 10 - suicidal thoughts to ...

4 - accepting my GAD, panic, CPSTD. Relieved that I differentiate between these and chronic depression, and heart goes out to those who live with chronic depression.

Coming onto the thread I was going to say, yes you can without meditation but Reading through the thread suggests that I could explore the benefit of a medication for anxiety. A low dose to reduce the sensitivity that triggers the panic could be a well balanced way for long term management and I hope reducing the impact of a full blown panic/anxiety episode.

Perhaps I could reduce to a 2 on the basis that anxiety is a part of being human. At a 2, I could feel human. GAD is life limiting and does impact on our personal and professional relationships. 🌷

[LaneBoy]

Panda I love your plan. I’ve been speaking with my therapist about a similar thing for when I dip in mood :)

What I’ve realised (without really becoming aware of it until recently) over the last few months especially is that I need to stop waiting to feel better before I do something nice. I just need to do it. Watch a bit of the film, read a bit, do one of my online course modules - even though it’s not the perfect circumstances to concentrate. Do a workout even though I feel like I have zero energy and have to do it at snail’s pace.

I have spent years putting things off for the right occasion but it never comes because I’m so all or nothing. And then I just do nothing. The first time I realised this was when I banned myself from reading for pleasure during A Level season and then regretted it after as it would have helped me relax... you’d think I’d have applied that to the rest of life by now, given I’m 33 :o

For me there is also a huge barrier in thinking I don’t deserve to take the time to do nice things. Lockdown made this worse for a while, as at least in normal life I had to make the commitment to book a yoga class or whatever. DH and I both have disabilities now so there’s a lot of guilt, but, much as it’s a cliche, they do say on a plane to put your own mask on first.

Anyway that isn’t like a cure or anything but I thought I’d mention it in case anyone else is similar. It is worth doing the thing, whatever that thing is. It might not make you feel any better right then, but I have now come to realise even that’s not the point of it.

[LaneBoy]

BTW that wasn’t meant to sound blamey at all, I just reread it and the second paragraph sounds like it. But that wasn’t the intention at all.

RC I hope you get some meds that help 💐

[soberfabulous]

Me.

I was on AD's for a few years. They allowed me to feel normal whilst I got a handle on things.

I did a meditation course, had some therapy and practice mindfulness.

I've now weaned myself off them and feel great.

Also kicked the booze a few years ago and I can't tell you the difference that made to my anxiety.

Good luck, it can be done.

[ValancyRedfern]

I honestly don't know. I've seen depressed, anxious, had eating disorders, OCD and insomnia for 20 years. I've been on anti-depressants solidly for the past 12 years. I've had 10 different therapists and loads of different kinds of therapy. I do yoga and go running. I survive but the thought of another 40+ years being me terrifies me.

[ValancyRedfern]

Sorry having a very low day today. Can't see a way out.

[Asgoodasarest]

@ValancyRedfern I hope today is a better day, it can be so tough to keep going I know. X

[ValancyRedfern]

Yes it's been a bit better thank you. I've recently restarted a relationship as I couldn't cope on my own, and am now realising what a colossal mistake that was....

[Jarofflies]

I have accepted that it is something I will always love with rather than overcome. I have had no adverse experiences or life events wich set off my problems, I've been this way my whole life. Went on my first medication at 18, had to try a few before landing on Venlafaxine which has been a total game changer for me. It's honestly like someone switched the lights in and I can lead a pretty much normal life on it.

My one attempt at coming off it was a disaster, and now will happily stay on it the rest of my life if I'm able to. I found CBT ok, but it only worked for the duration of the sessions and I definitely still needed my pills too.

Hope you manage to find one that helps you op.

[changesoul]

It is possible to over come anxiety & depression I have, you have to be strong v strong and meditated 🧘🏽‍♀️ it helps and be positive, read positive things and stay away from ppl who puts u down or talk bad about u. It will take time u will have episodes now and then but if u have loved once's around u, u will over come it's v dark patch but u will see light & most important do what u enjoy this all helped me. Hope it helps you

[Seesawmummadaw]

@HotnessUnited which book did you use?

[HotnessUnited]

@Seesawmummadaw I used the book by dr claire weekes. It's called SELF HELP FOR YOUR NERVES. Shes written a range of books but they all give the same plan. I myself work in mental health now as iv been through hell and back so would like to help others, and I always go back to the advice/plan that has helped me. Feel free to DM me if you like

[Seesawmummadaw]

Thanks @HotnessUnited I’ll take a look. And also thank you for the offer of support. I’m actually a mental health nurse, great with supporting others but not so great with my own mental health

[HotnessUnited]

No problem @Seesawmummadaw. I know exactly what you mean. There are many mental health professionals who literally struggle to practice what they preach but that's because we all have a mental health and it needs caring for. But there is help and hope and you will get there.