MH and looking after an almost 5 year old.

[user1495820541]

Hi there, I'm struggling to cope with my 4 yr old son. My partner was diagnosed with breast cancer when he was eight months old. It was hell but we got through it. Her recovery was much more difficult; bones, muscles and immune system affected by the chemo leading to about three years of really chaotic health. Throughout all of this my son wold not sleep through the night and up around 5 every morning, only really got better at the turn of the year.

As a result of looking after him, caring for her, moved house in the middle of it and working full time I've developed quite bad depression and anxiety.

I've had time off work, changed job to one less stressful and with P/t hours. being supported by the GP and had counselling but I'm just done.

Currently shes just had an eight week inner ear thing which has left her off work, she is getting better but I just don't know how much more I've got left in the tank.

I love my son but he wants us to be with him all the time and I just can't right now. Don't want to be playing with him at all the moment. I feel so guilty, I want to be a good parent but I'm just so low.

Sorry for this being a long post.

[laurzj82]

Along with the advice given by posters above, mine would be contact your hv. I have MH issues along with child with SN. Had a very bad patch last year when my mum died. OH was working away abroad and hadn't see him for 6 months so felt very isolated. Felt I couldn't cope with looking after DD. Hv referred us to an organisation called home start, there might be something similar near you. A volunteer comes out once a week and they help by talking to you, suggesting things you can do to make things better, play with the children while you get things done round the house, take you to play groups anything like that. It's only a couple of hours a week but makes such a difference. Hope things improve for you soon

[NolongerAnxiousCarer]

Hi, that sounds so hard for all of you. What do you do thats just for you? I care for my husband and I have learned how vital this is to keep ourselves well enough to look after others. Is there something that you enjoy that you could do for yourself on a regular basis to help you relax and unwind? For me its the gym, I also find meditation and mindfulness helpful.

[MiddleClassProblem]

Also forgot to ask if DP is in remission or still fighting it?

[MiddleClassProblem]

Do you have any family or friends that could help with your son? You def need some for you. Could he have a weekend at a grandparents? Would dp be ok if you escaped for a weekend?

[drspouse]

I couldn't read and not post, it is dreadfully hard. Is he at school/nursery? Are you working? Are you on anti-depressants?