Exhausted and more and off work

[PullsHairOutScreamsRidesBike]

Hi I work full time in a crappy job, which is OK, I like it even though it's low paid and stressful.
I don't drive so I cycle twenty miles round trip and at work I wear a step counter and walk around 25000 steps a day which I believe is around ten miles.
I've been telling myself that this is OK except for my calves being sore but it isn't.
I am so tired, I cry quite a bit over nothing much, my house is a state, I hardly see my kids (who are grown up).
I had a mad episode and got taken to hospital to have my mental health assessed and was recommended to take some time off work and rest and I have to see someone regularly.(how I'll find the time for that I do not know).
I am worried about going back as I will have a disciplinary meeting as I have taken three days off, I am not going to tell work about the "episode", the police rung work and told them I was in hospital but didn't tell them why.
I am so tired.
I suppose this is how we all are, well some of us, when we work, it has always been this way for me anyway - long hours, low pay.
I put a lot of time and energy into my job and am under a lot of pressure there.
I feel so sad.
I can put on a smiley face and act buoyant and energetic and try and do my job well, but I think that by doing this I am ruining the rest of my life as I have neither the time nor energy for it.
I have one more day off then I am back on the bike and dragging myself to work.
I just wondered what other women's experiences are of working, do many of us feel like I do?

[DawnMumsnet]

Hi there,

We're going to move this thread over to our Mental Health board so the OP can hopefully get some more advice and support.

[bbcessex]

Hello my lovely.

It sounds like you have put a brave face on for quite some time.. you must have a lot of inner strength to have done that.

From the sounds of it, you are physically and mentally exhausted - and who wouldn't be with the effort you have to expend day in day out.

If I've read your post correctly, it seems like you've only had three days off - is that right? I don't think that's enough. I would go to your GP and explain what's happened to you recently, in terms of the breaking point, the hospital etc., and I am sure he/she will sign you off for at least a couple of weeks.

What's the sick pay like at your work? Can you afford to be off for a little while? It seems be important right now to care for yourself and take a break even though it's probably not in your nature. Do you have friends you can talk to, can you share your worries with your adult children?

It seems like your body and mental health are telling you that you need a break.. listen to them. Get the support you need (therapy / temporary medication?) and you'll be back on track. I think if you ignore the signals, you'll put yourself under even more pressure and things will take much longer to improve.