Feel like I'm in the rabbit hole.
Having scary issues with my mam who really has attachment issues so I contacted Anna Freud centre as I really worry I'll turn out like her one day if I don't keep a constant check on myself. The thing is I have OCD and the core thing is that the issue is NOT that I am ever going to harm my children it's that I worry one day if I lapse in attention or concentration I will miss something important and harm will befall them.
The example I gave was fears of them being flung out a car window. Some women with OCD have much more violent images but I have been relatively lucky in that regard.
I thought I explained this... that basically they are very loved, spoken gently to, have family dinners every day where we talk about our days, are clean and well fed and taken care of and always responded to when they cry etc but that inside I still have doubt I am a good enough mother and I fear secretly I will let them down and not respond to them as they need me to or miss something important and cause them harm. I said I had limited psychotherapy left on NHS and felt I needed further support and would value signposting to appropriate services. I mentioned I had a history of abuse etc.
The response I got was that they had a duty of care to refer to safeguarding whenever a child was at risk.
I've been over the email and there is NOWHERE that I say I have harmed, want to harm or have even thought of harming my children. Simply I worry I am not doing a good enough job, need to continue working on my fears and will take any steps necessary to get help.
My husband is beyond furious. I am lucky that I had been to NSPCC PND group and could contact a worker there who reassured me that there are no concerns and the referral may be closed rapidly.
Just so shocked and upset that a genuine request for help could be dealt with in this way. If they had said they were referring to social care for extra support I would have had no issue but they specifically made it about the intrusive thoughts and framed this as a risk to my children.
I have had a lot of reassurances today from professionals involved with me but it is hard to turn off the what if' s tonight.
I just want a bit of extra therapy. I've been feeling really positive and happy and been living a normal and dare I say it actually worry free life...
Hold my hand x
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Mental health
contacted the Anna Freud Centre when having a wobble, mentioned intrusive thoughts of accidental harm coming to my children and they have referred me to social care as a risk to my children....
12 replies
working9while5 · 15/10/2013 20:31
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