Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Unflip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Unflip

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

1 2

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Mental health

So this is what happened to me

32 replies

madmouse · 13/06/2011 23:17

here

except the rape wasn't just attempted but real and frequent and I was always on my own.

Other than that it could have been my story.

Sometimes I still tell myself it can't really have been this bad or other teacher would have noticed. But that hope is gone now. It's all horribly real. And I feel awful.

I'm coping, but need to get it out. DH has already had his share of dealing with it as he wisely witheld the news from me until I had a good day. Been to see my friends tonight but they were both shattered and i stuck to light hearted stuff.

OP posts:

Report

cityhobgoblin · 20/06/2011 21:41

So glad you had good times madmouse , and DS had such excitement .

madmouse · 19/06/2011 14:33

Aww thanks both - it has been a good weekend - enough sun that I'm glowing and a bit burnt. We went with very good friends who know my history and who have supported me through PTSD, so when I struggled a bit there were hugs on offer and plenty of distraction.

DS had an amazing time with 6 people (adults and older children) fussing over him and taking him on wild adventures including about 20ft up to the top of an assault course obstacle with my friend (good thing I trust him!!)

Exhausted now as sleep not good, but male half of friend couple is a very early riser so had some company - normally when camping it is just me waiting for boys to wake.

OP posts:

ThisIsANiceCage · 18/06/2011 00:32

Ooh, wishing you good weather. And a very chilled out weekend.

countrylover · 17/06/2011 21:24

thinking of you madmouse - hope the camping weekend takes your mind off things xx

woeisme48 · 16/06/2011 23:23

mostly good anyway

woeisme48 · 16/06/2011 22:49

great ! hope you get the weather ! camping is very soothing for the soul.
I am good actually..a bit better..like you , I have been very busy but in a good way
here's to progress
lol

madmouse · 16/06/2011 22:37

aw thanks woeisme

DS was better by Tuesday afternoon thankfully

Today has not been too bad, but it has been too busy so I'm buzzing

Going camping with friends this weekend - will be good to chill out but I need to pack everything tonight!

How are you doing?

OP posts:

woeisme48 · 16/06/2011 22:29

Hi madmouse how has your day been ?
Is ds better?

NanaNina · 16/06/2011 00:00

Sorry Madmouse - I wasn't thinking straight - I can fully understand how this news story has brought back more painful memories for you. There seem to be mixed feelings for you, as you say, breaking down a bit more denial, but also causing you a lot of worry and anxiety. This kind of abuse in childhood is a life sentence isn't it, to a greater or lesser extent. I had the feeling that your PSTD was under some sort of control, so do hope this story doesn't send it raging again.

superdragonmama · 15/06/2011 23:44

So, so sorry to hear about your shocking experience, Madmouse. You are incredibly strong to write about it here. Can't offer anything, wish I could, so utterly shocking that this happened to you ( sorry, inadequately struggling for words here).

Offering a very warm HUUUUG to you, with a lovely big glass of for you and [calpol emoticon] for DS

madmouse · 15/06/2011 23:38

I do think I needed to read about it because it's broken down a bit more denial and I have received a bit more validation that what happened to me was really bad. But a lot of worry and anxiety has come with it.

DS is fine thank you - just a night of crying and being unsettled and a morning of being a bit warm and grumpy. One of these things. But it meant a night without much sleep (I was used to those once - when the PTSD was raging I never got much sleep) and with lots of anxiety.

OP posts:

woeisme48 · 15/06/2011 23:32

This may not be the correct advice but don't read about the news story anymore...I don't see how it can do anything but make you feel bad.
Is ds ok ?

madmouse · 15/06/2011 22:58

haven't had many flashbacks just lots of feeling 'like that' again - small helpless, tense, anxious, worried about being touched & alone.

It ha just made everything more real again.

Anxiety seamlessly latching on to ds's very minor illness didn't help...

OP posts:

woeisme48 · 15/06/2011 22:35

Sorry to hear this madmouse.. what a terrible experience to have had at that age . So sorry this has happened to you .

ThisIsANiceCage · 15/06/2011 19:00

Oh crap, sorry it's rough right now.

madmouse · 15/06/2011 18:58

NanaNina this man didn't abuse me, I'm not that young! The facts are shockingly similar that's all. And that has made things really hard this week. I can cope just about with it having happened to me in the 80s, I find it impossibly hard that it still happens today.

My teacher raped me, repeatedly and in a very evil way, and it didn't happen in front of other children, he isolated me. But the rest is all the same.

OP posts:

NanaNina · 15/06/2011 18:47

I knew that you had been the victim of child sexual abuse outside of the family madmouse so this teacher must have been up to his abhorent behaviour for many years. It is strange that it has only just come out and I know you suffer from PTSD, but this must have worsened that with the story coming out now. I imagine this is going to make things worse for you. I had thought that the abuse happened in Holland but must be mistaken. Do hope you get plenty of support and stay strong at this difficut time.

cityhobgoblin · 15/06/2011 18:36

So very sorry and shocked to hear this , madmouse . I know it's been said already but you are absolutely inspirational and do such good . Hope you're getting loads of support from dh and friends this week .

madmouse · 15/06/2011 18:34

Thanks TIANC - that lovely post is finding me in the middle of a bit of a rough time x

OP posts:

ThisIsANiceCage · 15/06/2011 17:21

Just popping in to offer a . Hope you're getting through the week OK.

kizzie · 14/06/2011 13:58

Im so sorry Madmouse.
I have such huge admiration for the way that you have to tackled this x

madmouse · 14/06/2011 13:52

Thanks for the hugs and support - it really helps.

OP posts:

AuntieMonica · 14/06/2011 11:26

I cried when i heard this on the news, and again now

i'm so sorry this happened to you and totally understand how memories can jump out and get you when you're happily going about your business.

[hugs]

M

iMemoo · 14/06/2011 11:19

Im so sorry MM xx

bittersweetvictory · 14/06/2011 11:16

Thats awful madmouse it must have brought back some horrible memories for you, i often wonder how sickos like this get away with it for so long but they are obviously very good at hiding what kind of person they really are, evil bastards picking on vulnerable kids, should be castrated with a rusty knife ( im volunteering ) i hope they all rot in hell.

Unflip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.