Ex going on holiday with new girlfriend and our children

[lubyloo44]

Other woman and her child going on holiday with my ex and our children - only 6 months after starting to go out - im livid and upset - is he right to just tell me - not even ask? Especially when he had said they were taking it slow and he was going to go on holiday on his own with her which i was completely fine with - we are friends still and help each other out

[lubyloo44]

Waltermittythesequel - the children knew about me spending time and going off with my ex and his children (I was in a relationship for 2 years or so) and yes it was mixed emotions when, if they asked as kids do, what we had all done but we would try to be sensitive about it. But they were spending time with their father as well and so had got used to it and actually after a year or so we went on our first big holiday together and they loved it although of coursed missed their dad which was totally understandable. No wrong or right just slow, and time respectful.

[lubyloo44]

Doreen lethal. Wow! OK.. Not sure I would ever want to call anybody "a little unhinged" even if I thought I knew them very well! However, understand your comments might be more to do with your own experience with your OH as you put it "I saw my OH ripped apart by not seeing his daughter every day" - sounds awful for him and we are all human, feelings run deep and where children are involved, we want to try and get it right, and sometimes we don't. "and you get that as resident parent most days" - from people I have met sadly going through separation, every case is different but its great to be able to use a platform such as this to get constructive advice, maybe a little "telling off" where needs must but.. . "calm the fuck down will you" - impressive!.

[lubyloo44]

Maybe no "right" - but that was never brought into it - but responsibility as mother of my children, and how things affect them - when they talk to me and bring things up - which is rarely thank goodness.. I do have a responsibility and so does their father if i was to behave like that. Im glad that he would care. Luckily neither he nor I seem to think that it would be Ok to introduce the children to different partners every month, week, or day..! Interesting name by the way..

[lubyloo44]

228agreenend. I agree, but I know its not an exact science, but it is a timescale that is given in many books on how to separate and divorce "successfully" with children and I guess it makes sense. And just to reiterate, Batboobs.. I would never, even if it was my legal right which i really don't think it is, or should be.. stop him from holidaying with the girls, with or without his girlfriend. This was always about doing something too soon, based on what he had initially said he was going to do, what I felt was not a decision based solely on the best interest of the children, again based on the fact that she was a new girlfriend with whom they had had very little interaction with.

[lubyloo44]

AlanPacino.. "ethical dilemma".. "internal conflicting moral values" ... didnt recognise those phrases from my posts.. so not sure what you mean. Not an ethical dilemma in my book nor anything to do with moral values. A decision that, because it includes the children and introducing new partners slowly - something we agree should be handled sensitively and because we have a good relationship and talk all the time (both have had relationships with others since we split) it was unlike him and although thats fine, things change it was a very big step to take. With the little steps before hand, i.e., days, weekends, visits out (they havent even done that yet).. as Mazzledazzle has posted

[lubyloo44]

Branofthemist. You are totally right - it would be unreasonable for me to think he would need to only do things if I was OK about them.. wouldn't ever want that, would actually think that any potential girlfriend would be very unsettled with that, as I would if that was the case with my boyfriend and his ex partner! And yes will not say "the other woman" again - never have referred to his girlfriend as that before so must have been part of my rant at the time!!