Allowance of £23.50

[Whatmonth]

DM is in a nursing home with dementia.
She is self funding.
Her 3 daughters (including me) have POA.
We have been told that she is allowed £23.50 per week for herself.
Is it ok to allocate that money into an account so she has money
for new clothes, hair cut and toiletries. Also she still wants to give
money for birthday presents for her Great Grandchildren.
And money for Christmas gifts for others.
It was only ever £20 per child. Did that since they were born.
They are now teenagers.

[Idratherbepaddleboarding]

This is the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard, sorry OP. I’m glad it sounds like your poor mum is “allowed” to spend more than £23.50 a week. It’s awful that some others, who’ve worked all their lives are allowed so little at the end 😢.

[MereDintofPandiculation]

What a sad end to an interesting life.
Now frail, incontinent, confused, hardly eating unless its cake.
The only ones she knows is the great grandchildren and for some reason my husband As my father has become more incapacitated, he has become more content. If he is warm, comfortable and fed, he is happy. I hope your mother will be able to reach that stage

[hatgirl]

@Idratherbepaddleboarding

This is the most depressing thing I’ve ever heard, sorry OP. I’m glad it sounds like your poor mum is “allowed” to spend more than £23.50 a week. It’s awful that some others, who’ve worked all their lives are allowed so little at the end 😢.

It only impacts on people who need the state to pay for all of their care because they haven't got a weekly income high enough to have anything other than the £23.50 disregard left (and any other applicable disregards but that is too complicated to go into here).

People who have 'worked all of their lives' and have a higher income and savings still get the £23.50 disregard as a guaranteed basic minimum weekly spend but realistically they can spend whatever they like out of what is left of their income and savings after paying the care fees as long as it isn't seen as deliberately disposing of their assets.

When people go on about how unfair it is that the person in the room next door doesn't have to pay anything as they have lived on benefits in council housing all their lives but 'dad' has had to sell his house to pay for his this is the reality. Yes dad has had to sell his house but he also has the choice to spend more than £23.50 a week on himself if he wishes to. The person in the room next door doesn't have that choice.

[euff]

As many have already said the personal expense allowance is not relevant to you. You can spend as you like for her benefit as long as you aren't depriving her of her assets in order to turn to the LA for funding. You can make her room nice in the care home, you can have subscriptions to papers, flowers, chocolates etc.

Even someone with savings under the threshold for full cost care can spend over the PEA which was £24.90 a couple of years ago. That's what the LA at a minimum have to leave from income. They cannot dictate how savings are spent unless there are concerns regarding deprivation or misuse of funds/ financial abuse etc.

As a pp said there is guidance from the OPG about making gifts. You can absolutely make the gifts you mentioned.

[Whatmonth]

@euff thank you.
We have been so careful in not spending mums money to benefit her.
Worried about Christmas and birthday gifts.
Now we realise that we got the wrong end of the stick.
Not to boast but mum has money that would last a very very long time.

[MereDintofPandiculation]

Yes dad has had to sell his house but he also has the choice to spend more than £23.50 a week on himself if he wishes to. The person in the room next door doesn't have that choice. So far dad has spent £200,000 on his nursing home fees. It doesn’t feel that great a bargain.

[euff]

@Whatmonth I understand how you feel. It was very hard for us to get our heads around spending DMs money even though it was for her own benefit. We'd be constantly reporting to each other, I bought mum a new pj's today or bought her a the nicer skin barrier cream that the one she gets on prescription! Some families find it very hard and question every penny they spend and feel wrong in doing it and that somebody might challenge them. Others have no such qualms and are at the other extreme.

Here is the address to the OPG guidance on gifts. Sorry I don't know how to make it a proper link.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/giving-gifts-a-guide-for-deputies-and-attorneys

It has guidance on what gifts can be made without going to Court. Your DM wants to give gifts and you can do that for her.

Reasonable gifts to family and friends can be made and they can be more than £20 given her situation. For example, a new DGC is born and she wants to buy something for baby. If she says she wants to buy a pram she can. If she simply wants to buy an outfit or put £10/ £100 in their bank account she can or you can for her. Presents can be for birthdays and Christmas but also christenings and weddings or any customary occasion where she might have made a gift.

If DM wants to help a DC or DGC with something more significant like a house deposit in London you would need to go to Court for their approval. The Court has approved gifts in the millions where the doner was incredibly wealthy.

[Gemstar2]

Sounds like it’s time to go out and buy your mum the biggest, fanciest Victoria sponge the world has ever seen, OP! Sorry you are going through this - dementia is really heartbreaking to watch 💐

[Katieandthekids]

@toiletinacupboard

you work hard all your life, career, houses, family and this is how it ends? £23 a week?

FML

I know right. So depressing

[MereDintofPandiculation]

@euff Sorry I don't know how to make it a proper link. It’s very easy. You just put two [ immediately in front of it and two ] after it (no spaces). But if you put a space after it, then some text, and then the two brackets, then the text appears in blue instead of the link when you post it. So you can have, for example “OPG guidance” in blue in your post, and when someone clicks on it it takes them straight to the OPG page.

[euff]

Thank you @MereDintofPandiculation I've saved this for future use

[HunterHouser]

https://www.gov.uk/guidance/work-out-inheritance-tax-due-on-gifts

People can gift to family, friends, charity, for birthdays, weddings, any other reasons per year

More info on www.gov.uk

Spend it before the tax man gets it !

[RiverRed]

@Whatmonth

Thank you for all your advice.
We were under the impression that she wasn't allowed to spend more than 23.50 per week silly us.
Plenty of money in her account.
Not sure how much longer she has.
1 month, 1 year or longer.
What a sad end to an interesting life.
Now frail, incontinent, confused, hardly eating unless its cake.
The only ones she knows is the great grandchildren and for some reason my husband.

Must be very tough for you seeing your mum like this but sounds like she has lots of great support from you and your sisters.

[user1471538283]

When my DGM was in a care home each person had a little account with the home. We left about £100 in there at all times and topped it up for her. This gave her some independence and paid for her hair and nails each week and the odd bit of toiletries if we couldn't get them over fast enough. She liked having access to some money. We bought any clothing and any extras she needed/wanted.

For the great grandchildren we agreed with her (in her more lucid moments) that we would give each child a one off payment to cover any further birthdays or Christmases. It wasn't a lot each but it saved her worrying about them all.

She too always but always recognised my DS but sometimes would not recognise me and she saw alot more of me!