What if I keep my ds down a year?

[ButterflyBessie]

My ds (dc3) is a June baby and is immature for his age, he is meant to be starting school in September but I am not at all convinced that he is ready for school

My two older children started school with no worries either from us or them, so I am not prone to these feelings

My ds is quite bright but is not happy at going to pre-school and I have many issues about the sense in pushing him to go to school when he is not ready.

I know that I do not legally have to send him to school until the term after his 5th birthday but the law says that he would skip reception and start in year 1 with his peers. I don't think that this is the answer at all .

I want him to start in reception in 2009 when he would be 5 and 3 months and the oldest in his class.

I am convinced that I could fight my case with the local council and achieve this - I am very convincing , but, would this be the right thing for him?

Is he likely to be bullied in the future for being the oldest in his year group? (He obviously won't be going up a year)

Has anyone done this and it has/hasn't worked?

I am worried and confused and need guidance

[seeker]

I wonder what your school's atitude to part time is? How would your ds cope with mornings only until, say, Easter? I insisted on mornings only for my ds - I was intending to keep this up until Easter myself, but ds decided he wanted to go full time after Christmas, and it worked well for him.

The only child I know who stayed down a year (he wasn't young, but had a horrendous time in Reception in entirely the wrong school for him, so his very very determined mother pulled him out and started again the next year in a different school) found it very difficult in years 5 and 6 when some of the little darlings decided to pick on him for being too old and therefore "obviously" thick. There were also HUGE problems about the transition to Secondary school - it took nearly a year of battling to get the aurhority to let him go into year 7 and not directly into year 8. He was embarrassed and unhappy about the situation - and his mother now says she wished she hadn't insisted on him repeating reception. Only one example, I know, but worth bearing in mind.

[windygalestoday]

I dont think you would get a school to agree tbh.......ive had this with ds1 whose 14 hes august born and one of the very youngest he was literally a baby when he went to school in fct i deferred sending him and seriously considered moving to scotland because you can delay school for a year there.

In England as far as i am aware you cannot do it - they have to be in that age group with support if neccesary ........my own ds1 despite not talking and being so vv young for reception class?.......hes 14,year 10 thriving doing his gcses with peers who are 16 next birthday.....it all works out eventually.

[ernest]

Can I but in with a Q on this topic then, as you've got me a bit worried.

ButterflyBessie seems to think that it won't be a problem to remain in the 'wrong' peer group for the entire school career, others here say that's not true. WIll it vary from areas to area, and how do you find out 100% for sure?

(reason being, we are moving next weeks from Switzerland to Germany. ds1, end of AUgust born is here in year 2. in the new school he should be in year 3, so not only would he be the veyr youngest in the year, he'll also have missed an entire year of education, pluss he'll for the 1st time be being educated in english, which he hasn't really learnt to write, tho can read - he's used to working in German). We decided it was all too much, so have enrolled him into the 2nd class, effectively moving him down a year. The school had no problem with this and didn't raise it at all.

BUT at some point (say in 2 years) we may move back to UK, I wouldn't be happy about him missing eg the 1st year of secondary school and being forced to go straight into year 8, never having done year 7

It is really that nig a deal, people saying about being with 'wrong' age & peer group etc? I mean, there could be a kid in his class with a 1st September birthday, so they would only be 1 week apart in age.

[Littlefish]

In this area too the child would be returned to their correct year group when they went to secondary school, thereby missing Year 7, and being separated from friends who they may have known since Reception.

Another trouble with missing out Year 7 is that the school's transition support is aimed predominantly at year 7 children.

[LIZS]

ernest, you may find your ds2 makes greater progress in an English speaking environment such that he could make the transition within a year or so (assuming there is a place). Friends' ds did the same when he moved to an International school from local (Speech and Language issues) but a year later "skipped" to his peer group. Not without its problems as there were gaps but with extra support it is possible. Bearing in mind the number of ESL speakers in that environment the tolerance is wide. Better to make the switch while there than straight from that to UK imho.

[ernest]

yes, I mean, the problem is, he is about to move to IS but not to British system. If he were to move directly to the British system, he'd be moving from year 2 to year 5, which is totally insane. At least now the agp is only 1 year, he'd be missing 3 in Brit syst, so if we moved back to UK and he was put in the 'correct' group, we'd be back in the position of having missed 3 years of education. sigh.

[bozza]

I think the ideas of either deferring to January or half days or both is the best TBH. But then I have a DD who is nearly the same age (may birthday) and I think she is ready to go to school. Suppose that might be a girl thing though. Still we have two intakes here so she will not be going until January.

[ernest]

what area are you in, ButterflyBessie ? Any closer to a decision?

[mrz]

I have a child in my present class who didn't start full time until January as I knew she wouldn't be able to cope. Mum was reluctant as she wanted her in full time, but it has worked really well.

[ButterflyBessie]

Don't want to divulge area , I think that I could be quite obvious as to who I am

From all the messages on here I am now leaning towards easing him in gently, In the first term I will probably be more inclined to put him in only 3 mornings, second term 5 mornings and summer term all day

Thank you all for your input, I still (obviously) know my family better than all of you , but the thought that a decision now might have such a large impact when he would be in year 7/8 is something I hadn't thought about very much.