Considering First donor egg try at 45yrs old

[Halokitty]

we are a childless couple, I have PCOS, and I have spent the last 10yrs being a carer for a very ill family member.
i feel I really have to try donor egg ivf now, or will forever regret it.
its nearly £10k per attempt and success is around 15% at my age.
am I wasting my time and money?
has anyone around my age had success? How many cycles did it take?

[Nearlythere80]

I am 45. We had several attempts from age 40 with my own eggs. We then had one cycle with donor eggs, i think the very kind donor was around 32-33, and we got 4 embryos formed. Two failed single transfers, then the last double transfer, from which we now have a beautiful 3 week old baby. No guarantees of course but younger donor eggs i think really do make a difference

[NotSuchASmugMarriedAnymore]

Can you afford 4 cycles? At least that way you are more likely to have a baby than not have one.

[DragonFly98]

Success is not 15% with donor eggs it's over 50% with a good clinic. Try Reprofit in Czech Republic they have a great FB group it's far less than £10k too.

[Karmaismycat]

I am pregnant with a donor egg (also 45). I had several rounds of own egg IVF (failed) and then donor egg (abroad) with husbands sperm. Success rates are significantly higher than 15% - your age is irrelevant, it is all based on donor age. I had 1 cycle in 2022. We got 3 good embryos, had them implanted 1 at a time over several months - no pregnancy. Gave it a (final) shot last year with a new donor. Again 3 embryos, all good grades. Had the best grade one transferred and successfully pregnant! The protocol was slightly different this time (clinic reviewed everything after the 1st 3 embryos failed). It is by no means guaranteed but I think the cumulative success rate over 2 cycles is very high (about + 85% I think but each clinic will have different statistics) Go for it and good luck!

[daisypizza]

Have you been TTC during that time or had any investigations?
I don’t know the statistics for donor egg success but I would say your partner’s spero may need to be checked too in case there are any issues. Any reputable clinic would suggest this.
Have a look on here or at the Donor Conception Network.
There is a lot of advice suggesting that non-anonymous donation is a good thing, but there are other factors to consider in your personal circumstances. I know a couple who met in their 40s and have a donor conceived child.
I am a mum via egg donation, a bit younger than you but would not rule out trying just because of being 45. Why not contact a few clinics and see what they say?

[daisypizza]

And congratulations to @Nearlythere80 and @Karmaismycat !

[Keepinghopeful46]

Into my second round of IVF with donor eggs here. Chose a donor egg refund package which covered 2 rounds with standard sets of frozen eggs, included various tests and treatment and was valid for women up to 49 years old. We felt it’d take the pressure off the first go and we were incredibly anxious about even attempting it. The package meant if it didn’t result in a live pregnancy we’d get a 50% refund back which we could keep or put towards another set. I was 44 when we started and had already decided after never falling pregnant naturally I wanted the highest chance of getting pregnant and the chances really can be 50-60%. The first round only 2 eggs survived the thaw then didn’t fertilise so nothing to transfer and our experience at the clinic really wasn’t good. Switched to a better rated clinic for our second and paid extra for lots of blood tests, stress test for DH and started acupuncture with an angel of a fertility midwife. Got to pre transfer scan and they found a hydrosalpinx, which even though it meant we couldn’t go ahead with the cycle made me feel weirdly vindicated for never getting pregnant naturally. I’d been to my doctors about infertility and painful sex but was fobbed off and at the time I felt so embarrassed and humiliated I didn’t pursue any further investigation. I paid private to have my tubes and the large cyst removed in August last year. Were finally ready for our first transfer in December. Unfortunately of the 11 eggs only 3 survived the thaw and 2 to blastocyst. Had transfer with top grade embryo but had BFN just before Christmas. One low grade one to try. Spent a small fortune so far and finding it hard to remember what it was like to spend money on anything not related to IVF but I’ve tried to take positives from every setback and for me if it doesn’t happen devastating as it would be I know I’ll feel I’ve done everything I can. Very best of luck to you whatever you decide x

[Onceuponatimeinalandfaraway]

I was 45 when I had by DE baby. I went abroad as it was so much cheaper, unless prices here have dropped it’s more than 10k

[Onceuponatimeinalandfaraway]

I was 45 when I had by DE baby. I went abroad as it was so much cheaper, unless prices here have dropped it’s more than 10k

[Countrygrrrl]

I would recommend going abroad if you can for DE treatment- not only cheaper buy way more advanced. I'm planning to have this treatment in IB Spain this year - one of the factors that made me chose this clinic is they use fresh not frozen for the 1st transfer- as you can lose a few eggs in the thaw. Plus fresh transfers have a slightly higher success rate than frozen ones. Also donors are <33yrs - whereas in London Egg Bank they're <36.
There are also various pregnancy guarante schemes available which would take the stress out of worrying about no of blasts etc

Goodluck!!

[DragonFly98]

@Countrygrrrl

I would recommend going abroad if you can for DE treatment- not only cheaper buy way more advanced. I'm planning to have this treatment in IB Spain this year - one of the factors that made me chose this clinic is they use fresh not frozen for the 1st transfer- as you can lose a few eggs in the thaw. Plus fresh transfers have a slightly higher success rate than frozen ones. Also donors are <33yrs - whereas in London Egg Bank they're <36.
There are also various pregnancy guarante schemes available which would take the stress out of worrying about no of blasts etc

Goodluck!!

Frozen transfers have a higher success rate than frozen, but yes occasionally an embryo won't survive being thawed.

[GingerFox2021]

You know yourself best. If you feel you will regret it, then try. It’s better to try then always have a regret at the back of your mind.
Wish you a good luck.

[Karmaismycat]

I used IB in Spain. @Halokitty if you do consider doing abroad, feel free to message me with any questions

[daisypizza]

We also used IB and hoping to go back again later this year for a FET.

[Pineapplewaves]

If you can afford it, I would go for it. If it doesn't work, at least you tried. Otherwise you might look back in 10 years time and kick yourself for having the opportunity and not going for it.

[ObviouslyNameChanging]

Another vote for abroad as friends started this after us in the U.K., and they sped along and so so much cheaper even with travel costs. They seem to be able to get more of a response from their clinic too than here.

[daisypizza]

I know of people who have had very good experiences with donor conception in the UK, and there is the advantage of being able to know in adulthood the identity of the donor. Portugal also offers this.

We went with IB in Spain as we had used them for own egg IVF first. The amount we spent was not cheaper than in the UK but I believe their techniques and expertise are very advanced. Spanish clinics were offering duo stim a few years ago before I had heard of it in the UK. There are good clinics here but we after bad experiences with two UK clinics we were fed up. Even the UK branches of Spanish ‘brand’ clinics (such as IVI) are behind their Spanish branches in terms of techniques offered.

[Countrygrrrl]

@Karmaismycat did you do the pregnancy guarantee scheme or pay as you go?

[Karmaismycat]

@Countrygrrrl pay as you go. I think I was too old for the guarantee scheme but the statistics IB gave us (have a look on their website) were so good that we felt confident going into the first cycle. Unfortunately that didn't work, but we did get a discount for the 2nd cycle. That worked on the 1st transfer and we have 2 frozen embroys (which we don't plan on using) left. I've seen you referenced fresh Vs frozen in a post above. I don't believe there is any difference in success rates and most good embryos survive the thaw (again there will be some stats on IB website) In the first cycle we did fresh, then frozen, then frozen (all unsuccessful). In the 2nd cycles we did frozen (successful, and have 2 more frozen) The benefit of frozen is you have a lot more flexibility with dates and you have more notice/can plan more easily. I felt it took a lot of the pressure off. I also had acupuncture (at IB)after the successful transfer - no idea if it made any difference but it certainly didn't do any harm. I was relaxed for a while rather than our of bed and straight into the car back to the accommodation.

[Countrygrrrl]

Do you know to what extent they matched your physical characteristics? They have told me that I will easily find a match so shouldn't have to wait too long. I'm fair with dark features I'm worried I'll get a tanned version of me....

Did you have any of your pregnancy scans there?

I know they are more expensive than the others but I'm quite impressed so far

[Karmaismycat]

Hi, both my husband and I had to submit photos of ourselves and I had to complete a questionnaire on physical characteristics too - hair type, height, weight etc. The only donor info we got given was age and blood group. I've just trusted them on the physical match.... To be honest now it's finally worked I'm not really thinking about the donor element - he/she is my baby. I had an early scan there (at 5 wks 6 days - we were still there on holiday post transfer). That scan showed a viable pregnancy but it was too early for the heartbeat. That night I had quite a heavy bleed...I rang the clinic early the next morning and they said go come straight in for another scan. All was ok (I think the internal scan the day before had caused the bleed) and although it was only 24 hours later, the heartbeat was there. I've been impressed with IB. I did have an issue with some test results they missed which caused a delay (it was their error and I was very upset). I wrote to the personal assistant and long story short we got a credit back (their delay had meant additional costs I incurred with extra meds etc) - the credit paid for the freezing of the embroys which is an additional cost. That has been the only issue I've had with them - everything else has been really good and I completely agree with the other posters who have said the clinics and technology in Spain are way ahead of the UK. All the add ons I've had to have (MRI, mammogram etc) have been much cheaper than they would have been in UK. The clinic is absolutely spotless, all the staff are friendly and polite and you get the impression they are really rooting for you. Way better than my experience in the UK!

[Florence329]

It sounds like you have had a lot of pressure on you and now it must feel like you have insurmountable challenge in pursuing motherhood. I am sure the POS must be a real blow. I have had numerous gynae operations, endometriosis and adenomyosis and my emotional reserves were rock bottom. I felt like I’d run out of time. For me, using an egg donor gave me hope when I had given up. It takes the pressure off because you are not fighting your biological clock. It gave me time to think things through and find a clinic (and doctor) that I trusted. There still challenges with pursuing egg donation in terms of making practical arrangements e.g. trying to organise private prescriptions and of course cost but you need to take it one step at a time and not panic. There are pros and cons for using an international clinic but my husband and I opted for Spain in the end after online consultations with doctors in the UK, Spain and the Czech Republic. I think it’s important to take time to choose the right clinic. I also echo other posts in that Spanish clinics are more experienced in egg donation IVF (but the UK is catching up.) Spanish clinics also have younger donor which, in general, means better quality eggs. This is because donors in Europe are paid whereas in the UK, they are altruistic and are only paid expenses. The donor we used was 22. Also, if you go abroad you have the bonus of a nice holiday!
I am surprised that you have been given the 15% chance of having a child via egg donation. Have you been advised why this is? Some clinics have success rates of over 60% per transfer and some even over 80% per cycle. My specialist was clear that your age isn’t a factor in this.The clinic I used have a cut off age of 50. Using an egg donor also reduces your chance of miscarriage. Of course, there are no guarantees; following our first transfer, I had a very early miscarriage and then they spotted fibroids, but I stuck with it and now have a 6 month daughter. I was 44 when she was born and I am considering having another. Try not to let the financial side worry you too much. We saved like mad and sold stuff to find the money. It was hard but we don’t miss the money now. She is worth every penny. I would contact donor conception network to help you work through your thoughts and feelings. There is also a nice online community on Healthunlocked/fertility as well as, of course, mumsnet. If you have any questions, please ask. I am more than happy to help. I wish you lots of luck xxx

[Chris2024]

Hello,

the success rate with donor eggs is about 60 % the first time. The total success rate for 2 rounds can increase up to 85 %. Your age is NOT an issue.

Good luck!

[Anonemouse1]

Haven’t read through the thread but to say I’m 46 with double donor pregnancy due in three weeks. Had a son this way 18 months ago too at 44. Your age isn’t a barrier.

[Karmaismycat]

I've attached a screenshot from the IB website which details their success rates