Partner wants to force me to sell house

[moonstone6]

Has anyone who is not married had experience of being taken to court to try and force a sale to your house? We have a jointly owned house. He wants to sell now and split the proceeds but we have a low interest fixed rate mortgage that ends in July 25 so I want to wait till then as we'll have more equity and be penalised 18k for leaving our mortgage early. He earns more than me so selling now works for him. We've had mediation and every thing I offer as an alternative to living arrangements - mainly different nesting options he just objects to so making it pointless.

[SanctuaryCity]

Do you have any children together and where is he living at the moment? I can understand why he doesn’t want to keep paying for rent for the next 18 months with all the money tied up in a house that he can’t live in.

[GingerIsBest]

Where is he living currently - if I'm understanding this, you want the situation to be that you both live in this house? I can see why financially that makes sense, but also why he really really doesn't want that to happen.

Do you have DC? That would impact things for me. If you don't, I'd be inclined to say that awful though it is, you have to suck it up. Perhaps negotiate that he pays the majority of any penalty fees. If you do have children, and you are the RP, then it might be that a different negotiation is appropriate. And I suspect a court would take that into account.

[moonstone6]

Sorry should have said - we are both living in the house currently. He refuses to move out and so do I! We have 2 children, 10 and 6. Yes living together in the house isn't great (but mainly because he is being a massive bastard to me) but what I can afford to rent/buy is negligible right now.

I was sort of interested in if anyone has been to court if they are not married as my solicitor says that you are treated differently (go to a civil court rather than family) and they are more likely to rule in his favour. Seems absurd that if we were married we would be treated differently.

[LemonTT]

Living together is untenable and creates a very bad environment for your children. You both need to acknowledge that and do everything you can to end this situation. You both have a responsibility to them that should trump your financial interests.

The house is presumably jointly owned. Meaning whatever happens you are each going to 50% of the equity. That’s it unless you mutually agree something else. If he wants 50% and is clear he isn’t going to change his mind then make your peace with it. A court isn’t going to give you more.

The only issue a court can look at is the welfare of the children. Under the children’s act they make an order to defer the sale of the house and decide on who occupies the house during that time. They will only do this if the circumstances warrant it.

The circumstances are that you could not afford to adequately house your children with your income and share of equity. They would consider alternative housing options, be that a smaller home or a rented home. They would expect you to maximise your income. All he has to do is produce details of local affordable homes to justify his case.

Neither of you need to go to court to determine any of this. If you do you will spend £18k between you. If a lawyer is telling you he will win then he will win. Either way you will end up wasting money on fees, redemption fees or legal fees.

If I was in his shoes I would want a sale asap and in a way didn’t lead to legal costs or early redemption costs or having to rent a place of my own for well over a year.

The law and how it is applied won’t change because you think it is absurd. All you will find is that you are charged a lot to find that out.

Have you considered what you can do to improve your income? Because if you cannot rent or buy now what will change in a year?

[Ponderingwindow]

@moonstone6

Sorry should have said - we are both living in the house currently. He refuses to move out and so do I! We have 2 children, 10 and 6. Yes living together in the house isn't great (but mainly because he is being a massive bastard to me) but what I can afford to rent/buy is negligible right now.

I was sort of interested in if anyone has been to court if they are not married as my solicitor says that you are treated differently (go to a civil court rather than family) and they are more likely to rule in his favour. Seems absurd that if we were married we would be treated differently.

Why? Marriage is the legal contract where you agree to be treated as a financial unit. You didn’t sign that contract.

[C00k]

'Seems absurd that if we were married we would be treated differently.'

Why? You've chosen to not have any legal protections or rights by way of a marriage contract, so of course cohabiting people are treated differently.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

[Noideawwhatsoccuring]

Seems absurd that if we were married we would be treated differently.

Of course you would be. Because you would be married so other rules apply.

You can't not get married then complain you don't have the perks of marriage.

If you were married, you might not get to stay in the house either tbh.

You own the house jointly. He doesn't eat to own the house with you anymore. You will need to seel, more than likely. Do you want spend a load ofoney on legal fees to be told the house needs to be sold?

[moonstone6]

Blimey, didn't expect such vitriol and so much support of a man!

Isn't there an argument for the stability of the children.. that he should just move out (that would actually be what I want). If we were married a court would say that he should move out, and yet because we're not, they won't.

How is a joint mortgage not a financial legal contract?

also he wants to split the childcare 50/50 so 1 week on and 1 week off. so it's okay for him to live in a nice big house with a garden and ok for me to live in a really shit house for the foreseeable future. they're going to really like coming to stay at my house!

i'm not arguing the split of equity, he's too much of a bastard to give me any more. he's too much of a bastard to move out because he doesn't want me living in the house. he can afford to rent somewhere.

[BeckiWithAnI]

@moonstone6

Blimey, didn't expect such vitriol and so much support of a man!

Isn't there an argument for the stability of the children.. that he should just move out (that would actually be what I want). If we were married a court would say that he should move out, and yet because we're not, they won't.

How is a joint mortgage not a financial legal contract?

also he wants to split the childcare 50/50 so 1 week on and 1 week off. so it's okay for him to live in a nice big house with a garden and ok for me to live in a really shit house for the foreseeable future. they're going to really like coming to stay at my house!

i'm not arguing the split of equity, he's too much of a bastard to give me any more. he's too much of a bastard to move out because he doesn't want me living in the house. he can afford to rent somewhere.

So if he moves out you’re going to pay the full mortgage on your own until the house is sold or you buy him out?

[RandomMess]

Speak to Rights of Women and see if his behaviour means you can get an occupation order to get him out whilst the legal side of selling the house is sorted.

[moonstone6]

@BeckiWithAnI

So if he moves out you’re going to pay the full mortgage on your own until the house is sold or you buy him out?

I have actually offered to pay the mortgage till 2025, i can't afford it but that's how much i want him to move out.

[WishIMite]

Separation almost always means you reduce your quality of living. Your children will not give a hoot about your house: they will know that you made it cosy and a loving place to be. Unlike the current situation which sounds toxic.

If you can’t afford to buy him out and take on the mortgage, you need to sell.

[Farwell]

My H had a property that he joint owned with a sibling. Original agreement was that it would be kept for their elderly parent to live in. His sibling changed his mind. The legal advice he received was that houses are bought to be sold and he could not stop his sibling selling it.

Sadly, you are in the same position with your partner, but with more emotion involved. If he takes it to court, you will lose. It will be less stressful to stop fighting it and get it sold, and move on with your lives.

[VanCleefArpels]

Previous comments are not “in support of a man”, merely an accurate summation of the law as it applies to your situation.

You should start to focus on the next stage: what can you currently afford, is there a way to maximise your income, might you qualify for UC to top up your wages (you can make a claim as a single person even while living under the same roof if you can show you are living entirely separate lives). How much equity after deductions do you anticipate getting? How best can you use that to make a secure home for you and the children- deposit to buy a place (will you qualify for a mortgage?) or pay rent up front for a secure tenancy?

[Noideawwhatsoccuring]

A joint mortgage is a legal financial contract. It has nothing to do with marriage, which is another financial legal contract.

Can you point out the vitriol? Of the defence of your ex?

It's factual. You dont have to protections of marriage because you are not married.

If you felt it was important to your children's stability, then you should have got married.

[TheYearOfSmallThings]

I don't know that you would be any more likely to force him to defer sale of the house if you were married, truthfully. It would still require both parties to agree to defer and, where they don't, the usual judgement is to proceed and divide the assets. Otherwise you could always get one party dragging the arse out of it for a whole range of reasons.

[WillowBarkTree]

Yes he can take you to court to sell house. The reality is with back logs you might not be far off Summer 25 before you get a final hearing. However he could also claim his costs of bringing the claim from you if successful.

You could make a claim for a delayed sale under TOLATA/welfare of children.

Have a look at the case of V and W (TOLATA Schedule 1) EWHC; however, you will note in that case the court ordered immediate sale because it was felt not in best interests of child to be living in house with separated parents.

You need to speak to a solicitor. No one on here can advise you what will happen in your case. There experiences will all be very fact specific based on their own situation.

Also someone mentioning occupation orders, these are not granted easily. The threshold is significant harm to a relevant child or applicant. They can not just be used to get a partner out because they won’t go somewhere else and the other partner wants to delay a sale.

[BeckiWithAnI]

@moonstone6

I have actually offered to pay the mortgage till 2025, i can't afford it but that's how much i want him to move out.

OP, I know it’s not pleasant living with an ex, but he is an owner and has as much right to live there as you do, and as much right to have access to that money in the house now. Why should he waste money on rent unable to move on whilst you sit pretty in a house that is half his, stopping him being able to buy?
You just need to sell. You’re not together anymore and he wants his money.

[C00k]

No one is supporting the man? You seem angry that you've chosen to not have any legal protections. Where is the 'vitriol'?

A mortgage is indeed a contract between two adults, neither of whom can force the other to move out. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[WillowBarkTree]

If you were married the court would not just be looking at the house though, it would look at all assets and income (s25 Matrimonial Causes Act) and your partner could still apply to court for financial remedies, the court may still order sale imminently - it’s all fact specific.

[TallulahBetty]

This is why everyone on here suggests you get married, specially if you have kids. You can't have the greater security that marriage brings, without getting married.

[AutumnFroglets]

Blimey, didn't expect such vitriol and so much support of a man!
It's not in support of a man, but it's why we keep banging on about getting married if you want children. Women need that legal protection in place, but so many women think they are too cool for marriage. It's heartbreaking to see.

If we were married a court would say that he should move out, and yet because we're not, they won't.
No, wrong. A court would say one of you buys the other out, or you sell it and split the equity. You seem to be misunderstanding a lot of things.

Get yourself a one off consultation with a solicitor to find the best way forward. Let the vision of you living happily in that house go, it won't happen.

[CointreauVersial]

OK, a constructive suggestion.....you find a small one-bedroomed flat nearby to rent. Then you take turns in living in the house with the kids, for alternate weeks. The other person stays in the flat. That way, the kids aren't disrupted, and you don't need to sell. That might tide you over until 2025 when the position might be different.

It will take some planning and cooperation. but it's a known thing.

[Deathbyfluffy]

@moonstone6

Blimey, didn't expect such vitriol and so much support of a man!

Isn't there an argument for the stability of the children.. that he should just move out (that would actually be what I want). If we were married a court would say that he should move out, and yet because we're not, they won't.

How is a joint mortgage not a financial legal contract?

also he wants to split the childcare 50/50 so 1 week on and 1 week off. so it's okay for him to live in a nice big house with a garden and ok for me to live in a really shit house for the foreseeable future. they're going to really like coming to stay at my house!

i'm not arguing the split of equity, he's too much of a bastard to give me any more. he's too much of a bastard to move out because he doesn't want me living in the house. he can afford to rent somewhere.

But it's his house too - he shouldn't have to move out and rent if he doesn't want to.
As you point out, you signed a contract meaning you both own the house - he has a right to live there too.

There's support for the man because you're being unfair - regardless of his behaviour he clearly just wants to sell up, split the proceeds and move on with his life; you're stopping him doing that.

[C00k]

@CointreauVersial it says in the OP that the boyfriend (understandably) isn't interested in nesting.