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Advice for getting my boy back ( not exs)

74 replies

romoca · 08/07/2016 09:11

My ex hubby ( not divorced yet) wants my son ( not his) to live with him. I know he only wants this too get at me.... He normally bully's the boy. I know he has no legal rights at all over him but when o go to get him do I need to take anything with me or paperwork etc??? Xx

OP posts:
Rach8219 · 08/07/2016 17:23

He has no PR and therefore a simple call to the police should be suffice to bring him back.

ArmfulOfRoses · 08/07/2016 17:29

What do you mean when you go to get him?
Is he there now?

romoca · 08/07/2016 21:27

Unfortunately, as my ex husband is unpredictable, angry.... I sought advice from the police. They are going to see them........ And let me know how they are but because I fled domestic abuse the police have advised I stay away......... Feel helpless have no money for solicitor. Already in contact with women's aid...

OP posts:
Tiggeryoubastard · 08/07/2016 21:32

Did you leave the boy there when you left?

MrsBertBibby · 09/07/2016 08:34

How old is your son?

romoca · 09/07/2016 14:30

Yes I left him there husband would not let me take him......he is 10. I have spoke to police they have been there to check on his welfare, and he is ok. But I know my husband dictates how he behaves, what he says. Police can't do anything. It looks like I have to go to court to get my own son!!! It's madness!!!!! Off to citizens advice next week......

OP posts:
ArmfulOfRoses · 09/07/2016 15:48

Are you in the UK?
I can't understand why the police would leave him there.

Just5minswithDacre · 09/07/2016 15:52

Can't women's aid help you get an emergency order?

Are you speaking to your local WA or the national helpline?

You can also go to court with the help of a solicitor or even representing yourself.

DancingDinosaur · 09/07/2016 15:53

Eh? He's your child not your exes? He doesn't have the right to kidnap your child???

Just5minswithDacre · 09/07/2016 15:53

They would roses, if it's a residence disputed, it's a civil matter.

ArmfulOfRoses · 09/07/2016 15:55

Even if he's not the father 5 ?
I'm shocked by that.

ArmfulOfRoses · 09/07/2016 15:56

Can you go and pick him up from school on Monday?
Early if possible.

romoca · 09/07/2016 16:30

Yes I have been in contact with women's aid. I feel absolutely helpless!!! This situation is crazy!! Hmm i don't have a lot of money for legal fees, currently 18 weeks pregnant, the stress is unbearable!! The only reason ex wants my son there is to hurt me!

OP posts:
Just5minswithDacre · 09/07/2016 16:48

Is it local or national WA aid you have contacted?

Do you have paperwork mentioning domestic abuse or violence towards YOU (not your DS) from the police or any other official source?

bloodyteenagers · 09/07/2016 16:57

Has he adopted the boy, applied to the court for PR or you wrongly added him to the BC as dad? Because this is only way I can see that the police wouldn't be involved and why you would need to go to court.

eyebrowsonfleek · 09/07/2016 17:04

What's the situation with your son's biological father? Would he help get the boy back to you?

Just5minswithDacre · 09/07/2016 17:05

The thing is the police don't WANT to get involved if they can note it as a civil issue and with the DS being 10 and saying to them that he's okay - and so many DC do live with SPs - you can see how that decision was signed off.

RadicalPessimist · 09/07/2016 17:05

I'm not an expert but I'd be inclined to agree with Armful. Go and collect him early from school on Monday. If your ex who has no PR and no rights over your son whatsoever, tries to take him from you again, it's a clear case of kidnap, surely? Also make the school aware of the situation and get their safeguarding team involved in your behalf.

Lookatyourwatchnow · 09/07/2016 17:33

Agree with the collecting early from school on Monday, but is there nobody who can just go and get him if you can't OP? You say he bullies him, and only has him there to get at you. I'm worried about him being there all weekend, and I would do anything in my power to get him back immediately in your position.

snorepatrol · 09/07/2016 17:37

Send a family member or friend to collect him and phone the police if he says no.
Unless he has parental responsibility or a residency order it's kidnapping.
Or just go to school tomorrow and collect him early saying its for an appointment and phone the police if ex turns up at yours.

snorepatrol · 09/07/2016 17:37

Sorry Monday not tomorrow.

snorepatrol · 09/07/2016 17:39

Or phone emergency social services tell them you've fleed domestic violence and he's refusing to hand over your son who not his child and he's abusive to.

Betrayedbutsurvived · 09/07/2016 17:40

Had this exact situation. Solved it by complaining to police about DV, he was arrested , DD was handed to me.

blinkowl · 09/07/2016 17:41

He has no legal right to your son. Go to school Monday morning early amd just take him. Keep him off school Tuesday, can the school and say you ex is trying to kidnap your child. Say you want to bring him back to school bit ex is not allowed to pick him up. I'd they agree take him back to school Wednesday. If they do not, keep him home until they agree.

Call a solicitor. Most do free appointments for the first few hours.

blinkowl · 09/07/2016 17:41

Oops sorry that should say first hour

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