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What age does a man accept he probably won't have children?

35 replies

UrbaneFox · 15/09/2015 15:09

I realise that the men here are Dads so it's not something they'd know personally, but talking amongst friends perhaps, is there an approximate age at which a man will accept that finding a woman young enough to have his children is probably not going to happen.

OP posts:
BreakingDad77 · 16/09/2015 15:58

Des Oconnor had a kid at 80 so anything is possible!

Mens fertility still trundles on beyond your female partner which is the deciding factor.

VoyageOfDad · 16/09/2015 16:02

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VoyageOfDad · 16/09/2015 16:05

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worldgonecrazy · 16/09/2015 16:10

Hubby was 50 when his youngest was born. If we could then I'd definitely have more kids with him but I'm too old for IVF to be worth a gamble.

LooseSeal · 16/09/2015 16:18

I reckon 55.

I know quite a few men who have had children in their early fifties, some as first time dads and some as "second families" after having split with first wife and getting together with a younger woman. I don't think there are many women who would feel comfortable having a child with a man who was closer to 60 than 50, so as I said I think 55 is the cut off. I could be very wrong though.

SubUrbaneFox · 16/09/2015 17:47

Thanks. I'm interested in a man who has no children. He would have liked them (still would like them?). He's nearly 50. I'm only musing here! I'm not trying to organise his life! But the comment that most men wouldn't be comfortable fathering a child after 50. I don't know if every man of 50+ has the choice obviously because they may be attractive to women their own age or a bit younger but not to women who could still have children (if they also wanted them). It's very complicated!

VoyageOfDad · 16/09/2015 20:11

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SubUrbaneFox · 16/09/2015 22:07

Well, yeh it's not possible with a woman their own age. But my question is, and I guess there's no answer, I need to be brave enough to risk being knocked back.... The thoughts of being knocked back for being ''too old'' by somebody 5 years older than I am though Shock Do men have a sense of realism about this. Do they keep women nearer their own age that they do like at bay in the hope that a woman significantly younger will find them attractive enough to want to start a family, pronto. I used to think that that would be the behaviour of 'alpha' type men with lots of money, particularly good looking, or particularly confident and popular. now that I'm getting older, I wonder do all men feel it could happen, they could still end up with a woman much younger and have children Confused

VoyageOfDad · 18/09/2015 14:54

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SubUrbaneFox · 18/09/2015 15:31

Are they just putting ''open//undecided'' to avoid the young women ruling them out.

I can't imagine many men who have all their children over 18 wanting more kids. They just want women of child bearing age.

Agree, unless rich alpha types who can throw money at the coalface of childrearing, it's delusion.

SubUrbaneFox · 18/09/2015 15:36

So I don't think I'll 'chase up' this guy again. We got on so well. If I met somebody I got on that well with in real life I'd be delighted. But if he is going to have one eye out over my shoulder for younger women, there's no point Sad

60sname · 18/09/2015 15:44

There is no point trying to suss out the potential behaviour of one man by generalising across a whole population! Talk to him.

Fairenuff · 20/09/2015 10:32

Are you asking for yourself OP, how old are you?

WhatDoesTheUrbaneFoxSay · 20/09/2015 10:46

nearly 45.
I liked a man who is about 5 years older. He has no children though. It's not just about him though. I'm wondering if there's any point contacting, messaging, dating, getting invested in to men if they are still hoping to meet somebody and have a child! It's more of a general enquiry really. I know there was somebody particular in my mind who prompted this question, and I have let that go..... he's probably messaging 35 year olds. But I'll get over it. Just wondering for the future really. I know it was unrealistic of me, to expect an 'age'. To hope to hear "at 52 a childfree man lets go of the idea of having children".

squishee · 20/09/2015 11:11

I'd suggest that you stop trying to second guess these men and just ask them.

TheUrbaneFox · 20/09/2015 20:20

It's a very personal question though "do you want children?". And "so have you given up on having children at your age?" is a bit rude! I am seeing the man again, so only if it comes up in a natural way would I refer to an incompatibility in our circumstances and see if he knows what I'm talking about.

NoArmaniNoPunani · 20/09/2015 20:26

How many name changes in one thread?!

Fairenuff · 20/09/2015 20:42

Why do you keep name changing OP?

TheUrbaneFox · 20/09/2015 20:44

to avoid all of my posts coming up if anybody ever searched me. I've been outed once on mn. That's enough thanks. never again. I hope.

Fairenuff · 20/09/2015 20:57

You're not supposed to do it on a thread though OP. That's called sock puppetry and it's against guidelines.

I'm confused about why you're asking. Are the older male, or are you asking for someone else?

VoyageOfDad · 20/09/2015 21:02

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Fairenuff · 20/09/2015 21:41

Sorry, I got confused. I have OP's posts highlighted but because of the name changes I only read the last two posts, not the earlier ones.

So, to summarise, you like an older man but don't know if he wants children. If he does, he would not be interested in you, is that it?

I would say, if you like him start chatting with him and it will probably come up in conversation quite naturally.

TheUrbaneFox · 21/09/2015 11:33

We are meeting up again so I'm pleased and excited but trying not to be. He's really good company. I think I'm trying to talk myself out of liking him too much. I don't know what I was looking for, apologies for asking ''how long is a piece of string?''.

TheUrbaneFox · 21/09/2015 11:38

Fairenuff Sockpuppetry is when you create different identities to ''agree'' with your first identity. That is extremely duplicitous, a bit fucked up, and a million miles from what I am doing. I was referring to myself as I all the time and my screen names are all linked (having urbane fox) and also, as from the same email address the posts all green. I was a bit offended for a moment, reading your reprimand about sock puppetry, but as it is just such an inappropriate reprimand I will not be offended. I think people either pay close attention to a thread or they skim it briefly.

iseenodust · 21/09/2015 11:48

I think most men would choose exploring a potential longterm relationship with a partner and no option of DC over wishful thinking over women twenty years younger?

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