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Put off Relationships.

97 replies

Changlingz · 10/08/2012 10:41

Reading MN is putting me off having a relationship.

I know it's not real-life but it must be some reflection.

The resentment on the step-parent forum is one of the things that has put me off.

Unless there is a woman out there who, won't object to my children coming first, and that I spend a lot of time with them, doesn't mind my love of beer, and my love of sports I reckon I'm going to be single for a bit longer yet.

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 10/08/2012 10:49

Depends how much you love your beer in my opinion

Onthebottomwithawomansweekly · 10/08/2012 10:53

Also depends if your children come first because you are a Disney dad or if it's because you parent them properly.

anairofhopeFORGOLD · 10/08/2012 10:53

Would you mind a women putting her children first and going to the gym and out with her friends all the time?

anairofhopeFORGOLD · 10/08/2012 10:55

Or a women just useing you for sex and to hang out with when her ex has the children and her friends are busy?

Changlingz · 10/08/2012 11:04

I'm not the NRP so I'm not a Disney Dad. I'm the Dad.

Gym, children, friends, fine.

Used for sex, definitely fine.

OP posts:
tethersphotofinish · 10/08/2012 11:12

Do you want a relationship?

anairofhopeFORGOLD · 10/08/2012 11:38

Then you just need to find the right women for you Grin

Do you want to fall in love?

Scarredbutnotbroken · 10/08/2012 11:42

If you weren't a sports fan I might be interested.....I don't like beer either.

anairofhopeFORGOLD · 10/08/2012 11:44

Why not just date?

Some food some beer some sex whats not to like?

HugeFurryWishingStool · 10/08/2012 11:49

are you using the plural deliberately, anairofhope? Cos there could be something for the OP in having a small harem Grin

MrGin · 10/08/2012 12:08

Used for sex, definitely fine.


I'd like to second that.

anairofhopeFORGOLD · 10/08/2012 12:09

Like having a little black book and dial a date Wink

No footy on tonite lets see who is free Grin

MrGin · 10/08/2012 12:16

< shaves hands and parks truck out of view )

Changlingz · 10/08/2012 12:23

'Why not just date?

Some food some beer some sex whats not to like?'

I have been on and off for about 6 years.
It's been fun (and dull and scary) I just thought perhaps more.

I couldn't cope with a harem.

OP posts:
FateLovesTheFearless · 10/08/2012 12:27

Reading mn would put anyone off a relationship! Grin

puds11 · 10/08/2012 12:29

I like beer Smile, depends what sport your into?

anairofhopeFORGOLD · 10/08/2012 12:29

You want 'More' Shock

puds11 · 10/08/2012 12:30

And yes reading MN does make you think that there is no point to having a relationship because at some point they will cheat on you with the next door neighbours grandads cat.

anairofhopeFORGOLD · 10/08/2012 12:30

Mrgin i dont think your the hairy one Grin

KickTheGuru · 10/08/2012 12:34

What happens if she wants children? Does she then have to fall in behind YOU (because that's actually who you put first) children, beer, sports...

Then somewhere swaggering at the end is her and any children she has?

Yeh I wouldn't touch you with a barge pole. Sorry

BertieBotts · 10/08/2012 12:38

Good! It's a very positive thing to be happy about being single. Means that you won't settle for any old crap relationship just for the sake of having one.

Just make sure you have the same expectations if you do meet someone. Nothing worse than both having totally the opposite idea about something but missing it completely because you think you understand each other.

Changlingz · 10/08/2012 12:52

I don't want any more children. Bugger that.

OP posts:
tethersphotofinish · 10/08/2012 12:56

"I don't want any more children. Bugger that."

Very effective instruction for no further children, there Wink

KickTheGuru · 10/08/2012 13:01

Then you definitely need to make sure that you marry something who is has her own kids or who doesn't want any

If someone who is trying to or wants or even has their own children, they will never put yours first. Unless you find a saint but there are few of them out there.

You need to understand that you bring baggage into any relationship. You aren't swanning in with nothing that she has to get used to or come to terms with. While you can say "my kids come first, deal with it", she can simply say "ok well then fuck you very much too".

No woman has the obligation - be it emotional or financial - to carry your history and you shouldn't expect that. Your relationship should be based on you and the person you chose and blending BOTH of your histories into that.

Enjoy being single :)

phoenixrose314 · 10/08/2012 13:03

The thing is, people will only post on MN if they need advice, right? And who needs advice about good relationships?? Me and my hubby get along wonderfully - he takes the kids out twice a week to judo sessions without me that take most of the night and I don't mind, and also he goes out once a week with his dad and some friends to play cards and I don't mind that either! Equally, if I fancy a weekend away to visit friends from University he has no problems and we both always put the children first.

Don't let this place put you off. Try online dating. A lot of stigma over it, but the fact is if you have any "quotas" (no children, must be ok with you being a dad first etc) you get to put it out there before dating someone and then realising you want different things.

And you should also keep in mind that anything worth having never did come easy :)

Good luck!

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