Do you go into the FWR ? And what's your general impression as a man ?

[MrGin]

Just that really. I have a young daughter so I'm interested in some women's issues, I find you can't generally post in there without getting accused of one thing of the other.

< prepares for glacial responses possibly followed by mass invasion >

[ThePan]

just the three, tethers?

[LineRunnerSpartanNaked]

I counted six. Boom Tish.

[Changlingz]

'Three women walk into a pub and say,

"Hooray, we've colonised a male-dominated joke format".'

Bill Bailey.

[BelleDameSansMerci]

[BoneyBackJefferson]

At this rate we will overtake the snail.

[MrGin]

Sometimes it seems men just can't handle the fact that their opinions are not needed in a discussion

Is there supposed to be a BoomTish after that ?

I think it's forgotten that the FWR section was set up as an area for discussion about feminist issues, for parents, on a parenting website.

There were certainly some who felt it was a forum solely for feminists, parents or not.

It wasn't or isn't about not being able to post about about men's rights because I'm not interested in discussing those issues here. It's more to do with it being hostile.

[BelleDameSansMerci]

I find AIBU a lot more hostile than the FWR section. I accept that my gender may be the reason.

I have noticed, though, that some of my male friends get very defensive about things that they deem to be "man hating" but which I think are fair comments (often about rape or interpretation of behaviours). I struggle with that a bit as I can't see why they consider these things to be "man hating" when they are "rapist intolerant". I'm not expressing this well. I suppose it's that occasionally held belief that Feminists hate men or that pointing out the inequity of our daily lives makes them feel uncomfortable? As if we think men always have it easier or something?

[BelleDameSansMerci]

Sorry, pointless pontificating and not answering the OP or subsequent posts at all...

[AnnieLobeseder]

Men are very welcome in the FWR section, as long as they tread softly, realising that it is a place where women come to talk about issues faced by women, which, while men may sympathise to some level, they will never fully understand. So we, quite understandably, I hope, get a bit antsy when men come barging in telling is what to think or feel or talk about. We get quite enough of that in RL.

But men who stop by to listen, to learn, to truly try to understand the varying levels of sexist bullshit women are exposed to on a daily basis, and how we actually feel about that, those men are very welcome.

May I suggest that any men who want to understand what it's like to be a woman living in the patriarchy should read through the Everyday Sexism Project. It should open your eyes a little, and hopefully let you understand why men may encounter hostility on FWR, even if they 'mean well' when they post there.

HTH

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

[MrGin]

Ah yes Annie, I see your point.

It would be perhaps a little like a man starting a thread in dadsnet asking for a male views on their experiences, as a man, in the feminist section, and finding a whole range of posts from women telling us where we're going wrong.

Sorry, I know that's a bit sarcastic, and I do welcome your input really, but it illustrates the point. I can only express my view as a man. Because I am one. So often that view is almost by default labelled on the FWR as wanting to derail and talk about the menz.

[DuelingFanjo]

"There were certainly some who felt it was a forum solely for feminists"

I might be a bit stupid but shouldn't everyone be a feminist?

What's the opposite of a feminist?

BTW, not a boom-tish though it does sound like it should be one.

[MrGin]

Is everyone a feminist ?

[DuelingFanjo]

I don't know, but they should be shouldn't they?

If not then what are they? What's the opposite of a feminist?

[LineRunnerSpartanNaked]

Everyone should want the best for women.

[MrGin]

Are we talking about women again :o

[DuelingFanjo]

aren't we talking about men and women. About feminists?

[DuelingFanjo]

well, I googled it which is probably not the best for of research but feminism seems to be about "a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women" so not sure why anyone would reasonably not be a feminist. There are always degrees of everything I suppose.

[ThePan]

why should everyone be a feminista? It is very possible to promote and defend womens rights and 'equal' treatment (which means treating people differently) without being a feminist.

[DuelingFanjo]

you possibly have a different definition of a feminist then ThePan?

[ThePan]

I wouldn't presume to define feminists! For lots of reasons but mainly there is a spectrum and variety and inconsistency amongst feminists and it isn't homogenous or easily defined, esp. re tactics

[MrGin]

I think we can be certain that not everyone on the planet, or indeed in MN identifies as a feminist even if they have an interest in the issues and dip their toe into FWR.

Which comes back to the point that the FWR isn't a board for feminists, it's a board to discuss feminism and feminist issues.

[ThePan]

< deliberately and sensibly avoiding the 'proper/right sort of feminist' debacle..>

[LurkingAndLearningLovesCats]

Great post Annie, exactly how I feel too.

[BelleDameSansMerci]

Very wise, Pan...