Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 19 20

Craicnet

Ireland is a hard place to live

483 replies

Mooshamoo · 26/09/2023 10:34

Just watching the video of the black child being not given a medal by Irish gymnastics.

I was wondering if there is anyone else on here on craicnet, who is not Irish, living in Ireland. What your experiences are.

I think that Ireland can be a very hard place to live if you are not fully white and fully irish.

I'm half Irish. I was bullied all the way through school for not having an Irish surname. Then when I grew up and lived in the same small town, all of the same girls from my school were living in that town. And as adults they refused to talk to me.

I see the women who are fully Irish, being popular , having great lives.

To be totally acceptable and popular in ireland, you have to have a rich family, brothers/father who play gaa etc.

All the rich girls in my school hung around together. And again as adults all the rich Irish women hung around together in small town Ireland.

If you were foreign, from a single parent family, seen as poor, you were not accepted at all.

And it's who you know

I think this makes Ireland a very difficult place to live

OP posts:

Report

Neverinamonthofsundays · 26/09/2023 10:54

My kids go to ET schools where there are other kids from all walks off life and I they have mostly 'foreign' friends so no not my experience at all.

Mooshamoo · 26/09/2023 10:57

Neverinamonthofsundays · 26/09/2023 10:54

My kids go to ET schools where there are other kids from all walks off life and I they have mostly 'foreign' friends so no not my experience at all.

But you are Irish. So nothing would happen to you.

I asked for replies from people who are not Irish/ or half Irish, and who are living in ireland. I asked what their experiences were.

OP posts:

Anoisagusaris · 26/09/2023 11:01

Apparently there was a genuine explanation for that incident - that girl was a winner in competition, the medals were for participants and the person handing out the medals thought that they were just for people who hadn’t won.

I’m not saying that impacts on whether Ireland is a hard place to live as you describe. However what you describe is not what I see in the small town I live in.

Anoushkaka · 26/09/2023 11:03

That is a massive generalisation of Ireland. I don't have an Irish first name or surname , no brothers that played gaa and wasn't rich.

My son has children from eleven different countries in his class and they are all treated with respect and equality.

My DDs best friend is from Nigeria. Her Dad has three wives and lots of children between them. They are definately not rich or the other things you mentioned but this lovely girl is the most popular girl In the class because she's funny and kind. Her race, religion, family life has never been an issue.

Mooshamoo · 26/09/2023 11:07

Anoushkaka · 26/09/2023 11:03

That is a massive generalisation of Ireland. I don't have an Irish first name or surname , no brothers that played gaa and wasn't rich.

My son has children from eleven different countries in his class and they are all treated with respect and equality.

My DDs best friend is from Nigeria. Her Dad has three wives and lots of children between them. They are definately not rich or the other things you mentioned but this lovely girl is the most popular girl In the class because she's funny and kind. Her race, religion, family life has never been an issue.

It's not clear from your post.

Are you Irish?

OP posts:

Berlinlover · 26/09/2023 11:09

@Mooshamoo Your only contributions to Mumsnet are about how miserable you are living in Ireland, if I hated living somewhere as much as you hate living in Ireland, I would move elsewhere.

Mooshamoo · 26/09/2023 11:11

Berlinlover · 26/09/2023 11:09

@Mooshamoo Your only contributions to Mumsnet are about how miserable you are living in Ireland, if I hated living somewhere as much as you hate living in Ireland, I would move elsewhere.

It's not as easy as that for some people. I have to stay in Ireland , as I have a very sick, very elderly mother, who is just out of hospital. I have to be in Ireland at the moment. I'm her only daughter. And for other reasons I have to be in Ireland at the moment aswell.

OP posts:

Anoushkaka · 26/09/2023 11:11

What do you define as Irish? My parents are not Irish but I was born in Ireland. I'm 42 now so things have moved on from when I was born. When I went to school there was only myself and one other girl who had foreign parents. Never had an issue in school or growing up being "foreign "in Dublin.

Mooshamoo · 26/09/2023 11:14

Anoushkaka · 26/09/2023 11:11

What do you define as Irish? My parents are not Irish but I was born in Ireland. I'm 42 now so things have moved on from when I was born. When I went to school there was only myself and one other girl who had foreign parents. Never had an issue in school or growing up being "foreign "in Dublin.

I think Dublin is a bit different to small town Ireland. In small town Ireland you have to see the same people over and over again

OP posts:

DelphtBlues · 26/09/2023 11:15

I remember a previous thread where someone said they experienced xenophobia in Ireland and all the replies were from Irish people saying there's no xenophobia in Ireland and some were saying she must have mental health problems to suggest such a thing.

SnowflakeCity · 26/09/2023 11:16

I'm 'foreign', as in not Irish. I suppose that makes my kids half irish. None of us have had any problems at all. Lots of my dds friends are from different places or have parents from different place. Off the top of my head 2 of her friends have English mums, one has a german mum, one friend is American, another friend has polish parents. Half of the kids in her class are from lone-parent families. It is not unique at all to be 'foreign' or lower income or from a lone parent family. I live in a small town in the West so not exactly a thriving metropolis.

Lots of people who have lived here since they were born(as in this town) seem to still be friends with those they went to school with and don't really want to expand their friendship group but I have never been ignored or had anyone be rude to me. I find most people to be pleasant enough.

I understand that you have big problems socially and that that has hugely influenced how you feel about Ireland. If you are as genuinely unhappy as you seem to be from your multiple posts about it I would move towns, start again somewhere else, and get some counseling to try and leave your issues at the door. Most places have lots of things you can get involved in to try and make friends that aren't GAA related. A chess group has just started in my town, a womens shed, tidy towns, gym classes, running groups, writing groups, even some weird walking with poles thing. Reddit also frequently has posts with people wanting to meet up and make friends. Good luck, I hope you can turn things around for yourself.

BooAutumniscoming · 26/09/2023 11:16

It was difficult being English in an Irish primary school.

Other than that I disagree with most of what you have said.

Mooshamoo · 26/09/2023 11:18

BooAutumniscoming · 26/09/2023 11:16

It was difficult being English in an Irish primary school.

Other than that I disagree with most of what you have said.

What happened in the primary school. Can you share?

OP posts:

Anoushkaka · 26/09/2023 11:18

I have relatives in country towns, same situation as me and they are fully integrated members of their community. They work there, go to school, members of sports clubs etc.

Mooshamoo · 26/09/2023 11:20

Anoushkaka · 26/09/2023 11:18

I have relatives in country towns, same situation as me and they are fully integrated members of their community. They work there, go to school, members of sports clubs etc.

Yeah but you do realise that you can't speak for every foreign person in Ireland right. ? I've just spoken to a couple of foreign people in Ireland lasr week, who told me that they have received awful abuse

OP posts:

Mooshamoo · 26/09/2023 11:21

SnowflakeCity · 26/09/2023 11:16

I'm 'foreign', as in not Irish. I suppose that makes my kids half irish. None of us have had any problems at all. Lots of my dds friends are from different places or have parents from different place. Off the top of my head 2 of her friends have English mums, one has a german mum, one friend is American, another friend has polish parents. Half of the kids in her class are from lone-parent families. It is not unique at all to be 'foreign' or lower income or from a lone parent family. I live in a small town in the West so not exactly a thriving metropolis.

Lots of people who have lived here since they were born(as in this town) seem to still be friends with those they went to school with and don't really want to expand their friendship group but I have never been ignored or had anyone be rude to me. I find most people to be pleasant enough.

I understand that you have big problems socially and that that has hugely influenced how you feel about Ireland. If you are as genuinely unhappy as you seem to be from your multiple posts about it I would move towns, start again somewhere else, and get some counseling to try and leave your issues at the door. Most places have lots of things you can get involved in to try and make friends that aren't GAA related. A chess group has just started in my town, a womens shed, tidy towns, gym classes, running groups, writing groups, even some weird walking with poles thing. Reddit also frequently has posts with people wanting to meet up and make friends. Good luck, I hope you can turn things around for yourself.

Did you move to Ireland as a child, or as an adult?

OP posts:

Cerealforever · 26/09/2023 11:22

I do remember a thread from someone who was saying she lived in a village or small town, and this was her husbands home town, and she had found it really difficult to make friends and fit in. Other posters asked 'are you in Ireland?' and she was. There were posters on that thread recognising that this can be a thing in more rural part of Ireland. SO I don't think it is just you at all OP.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 26/09/2023 11:22

I'm from NI, but moved to London for 10 years, then to Cork for another ten years. My husband's whole family are from there and live there, but he was born in Oz when his parents were ten-pound poms. When we moved to Cork we loved the city, but found it very hard to make good friends, most people had made their friends in school and had no need to befriend blow-ins. Most friends we made there were also blow-ins to some extent. We eventually moved to Perth Australia where a huge proportion of people are from somewhere else, and have loads of friends, both Aussie and otherwise. I do find many Irish people are a bit suspicious of 'outsiders' and I say that as an Irish person myself. My son had no such problems, his school was very multicultural and little kids don't seem to care who their friends are or where they are from, so hopefully Ireland will become less cliquey in the future.

Chickolot · 26/09/2023 11:23

I grew up in Ireland, lived in UK and moved back to a different County.
Maybe I can give a view as a protestant Irish person living in the south of the country as I would have been considered a bit different.
I would not have mixed in GAA circles and have noticed that those type of mothers would stick to each other at the school gate. The GAA community seems very strong! Not necessarily a bad thing but very close knit and not that welcoming unless your child is joining in and you are helping out.
The communion talk can be isolating.
The teachers seem to be mainly female, catholic, very middle class. It seems impossible to be a teacher if you didn't grow up in Ireland and are not middle class or try to become a teacher as a mature student. A person I know looked into it, but so many barriers!
That exposure is not good to kids when they don't have a teacher in their school representing them.
Ireland doesn't have a long history of black or Asian people, especially outside Dublin.
I would guess that many have a fear of the unknown, lots of rumours around welfare supports, language barriers, etc amongst the fairly insular local community.
It's still too new and a slow trickle is manageable, almost a novelty, but any huge centres accommodating immigrants isnt as welcome generally.

Myfabby · 26/09/2023 11:27

Anoisagusaris · 26/09/2023 11:01

Apparently there was a genuine explanation for that incident - that girl was a winner in competition, the medals were for participants and the person handing out the medals thought that they were just for people who hadn’t won.

I’m not saying that impacts on whether Ireland is a hard place to live as you describe. However what you describe is not what I see in the small town I live in.

Please kindly share where this genuiune explanation is from? It isn't on gymnastics ireland website, their apology or any of the articles I've read.
Thanks

SallyWD · 26/09/2023 11:28

Anoisagusaris · 26/09/2023 11:01

Apparently there was a genuine explanation for that incident - that girl was a winner in competition, the medals were for participants and the person handing out the medals thought that they were just for people who hadn’t won.

I’m not saying that impacts on whether Ireland is a hard place to live as you describe. However what you describe is not what I see in the small town I live in.

I thought there must be an explanation. Even if someone was a real racist I can't imagine them blatantly ignoring a black child on camera in public (just because they wouldn't want to be caught doing it).

Mooshamoo · 26/09/2023 11:28

Myfabby · 26/09/2023 11:27

Please kindly share where this genuiune explanation is from? It isn't on gymnastics ireland website, their apology or any of the articles I've read.
Thanks

Show quote history

I was just thinking that. I looked up that explanation online. I can't see that explanation on any official sourse, or news site

OP posts:

SnowflakeCity · 26/09/2023 11:30

Mooshamoo · 26/09/2023 11:20

Yeah but you do realise that you can't speak for every foreign person in Ireland right. ? I've just spoken to a couple of foreign people in Ireland lasr week, who told me that they have received awful abuse

Show quote history

Can I ask what you are hoping to get from this? It always goes the same. You say Ireland is awful for people not Irish(and yes there is some xenophobia and racism in Ireland, name a country where there isn't?) and people post and say they are doing grand, you then brush off all and the replies and mention all of the people you have spoken to who are not doing grand. It's the same every time, are you trying to feel less alone and using this as a way to try and connect with people? I would suggest that hobbies or joining a course in flower arranging or something are more likely to lead to long term positive relationships with people. Nobody likes a Debbie downer, people want to feel good after walking away from a conversation with someone and are more likely to initiate conversation again if you give off good vibes.

Mooshamoo · 26/09/2023 11:30

SallyWD · 26/09/2023 11:28

I thought there must be an explanation. Even if someone was a real racist I can't imagine them blatantly ignoring a black child on camera in public (just because they wouldn't want to be caught doing it).

Show quote history

But the poster you are quoting has just said that. I don't think her explanation is accurate.

On no news site anywhere does it say the girl was not given a medal because she was a winner.

What news sites ARE showing, is a long apology from gymnastics Ireland for what happened.

OP posts:

Anoushkaka · 26/09/2023 11:32

Never said I was speaking for every foreign person just sharing mine and my familys experiences which is quite substantial given that my parents moved to Ireland 40 years ago.

So the fact you have spoken to a couple of people recently outweighs my 42 years of living in Ireland with foreign parents. You are really reaching now with that comment.

To be honest with you the most prejudiced people to me and my family have actually been non nationals and not Irish people.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 19 20

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.