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2024Hackathon · 04/04/2024 12:37

Continuing what feels like a sisyphean push but has already more far more progress than that.

Slight red flag in that DH now wants to spend £100 on dumbells to support him following the Peloton strength training programme. I am going to propose that if he wants to do it, it's from his budget not the general one. Which will be the lead into discussing personal budgets…(Baby steps.)

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pistachiosanscream · 04/04/2024 14:59

We have always taken a fairly hands off approach to our finances. we both pay in equally to a joint account for everything it takes to run our lives, cars, house, childcare, groceries, kids clothes, party etc.

Whats left then is for us to manage. OH is not as spendy day to day as i am so he has more in savings. I also have a car loan that only i pay. he paid for his car separately too though running costs come from the joint.

Anyways thats to say that we don't actually have joint savings and to my shame its me that has less in savings. He is just better at not spending. I however am much better at budgeting so i know what things cost, what we have to spend on certain things etc. But i had lost the run of myself over the last couple of years with the new house especially and spending everything.

However ive really tried to stop that since these threads started. I now send money more money directly to savings. I know in yearsto come we will want to do a renovation and there are also a number of things in this house that could break and need to be replaced. Like our ancient boiler. More than one of two of those happening in a short period would wipe me out. So im trying very hard to get excited about savings and to start minding the pennies again. I've started returning items i dont need even ifthey were very cheap. at the least it saves me having to return them

We have had a number of big bills hit at once this month so our joint account isnt too healthy but ive decided its a great time to rely on the pantry which defintely got stocked back up in March. I had a tesco online order scheduled but im pushing that way out and instead just buting the fresh stuff as we need it. I'd love to get ot the end of the month without having to top up the joint account.

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2024Hackathon · 04/04/2024 17:32

I'm reluctantly moving towards individual spending pots after bills, savings etc. because I'm tired of being the one who has to keep economising to make up for DH's thoughtless spending. He is repeatedly prepared to overlook the impact on me and our finances and leave them to me to resolve. I wanted to put all our savings from our pantry 'inheritance' into our savings but he's seeing it differently.

I want us each to have a budget that can't be cross-subsidised by our joint accounts. I actively support him seeing friends and networking. I will sit still for him having a personal budget that is x3 to x4 mine (although if it reflects our financial input, it should be more or less even) but I want this to arise from budgets that we've agreed.

£5 a day on coffee/whatever is @ £2K a year and that's money that could be in an ISA or offsetting a mortgage. If it's spent on something that makes a difference to people then it's worth it but otherwise…

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pistachiosanscream · 04/04/2024 20:00

I’ve a good friend in a similar situation to you @2024Hackathon. Her Husband is terrible with money and it’s always a stressor. I know she manages all the finances by getting him to transfer her his portion of bills and savings etc. the rest is up to him to manage.

he still overspends and needs to borrow etc from her but she has had to come to terms with it and I guess personal finances are personal. Even if they could be managed better and do more with their money.

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HowDidThisHappenDinesh · 04/04/2024 23:44

Thanks for the new thread @pistachiosanscream
April off to a… rocky start. Bank hol Monday we went to the pub with family, spent £80 all in on a couple rounds and some food. Again shocking how much we spend without thinking.
Tuesday my head was a bit sore! spent £3 on a Pret breakfast.
Yesterday was a NSD. Today should have been the same but I was craving jaffa cakes and ending up spending £16 in M&S on snacks and dinner bits. Then £13 on beers and chocolate for the weekend. I have no willpower. Oh well - we planned to get a pizza tomorrow but there’s mince to use up so I’m making a spag bol instead, so I’m making up for the spending there.

This month I budgeted for some house stuff that we’ve desperately needed, felt good to pay for it all upfront on payday. Unfortunately then our hob light and our living room bulb both broke and they’re both awkward ones to replace. If it happened halfway through the month I’d push through til May but I might have to play around with the budget and see if I can order bulbs earlier.

Cupboards and freezer are mostly stocked, so other than our milk and veg delivery I’m planning not to spend much on groceries this month. Back on financial track.

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Vinorosso74 · 05/04/2024 09:29

Thank you for the new thread. Not sure how well this month is going to go.
Two milestone birthday parties next month and two birthday gifts to buy....
I have an appointment for hair (cut and highlights) in a couple of weeks.
Another week of Easter holidays too!!!!

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pistachiosanscream · 05/04/2024 10:16

It really does seem to be the spendy season! we also have our holiday coming up at the end of May that i still need to pay the balance of the accomodation and and book a transfer.

Also need to pay car tax for the year and TV license fee. i have 2 paydays before all these are due but it will still be tight.

After the extra bills for this month were paid im left with €400 for food, petrols and incidentals. Ive a well stocked pantry and freezer and hoping to skip the big shop and just do small top ups for fresh food.

But it looks like next month will also be tight

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moimichme · 07/04/2024 10:11

Thanks for the new thread!

I need to be careful this month, too, although I did manage to put aside £200 into savings which I'm hoping that I won't need to touch.

Seems like payday has already disappeared into credit card bill (some of which is work-related that I'll be reimbursed for), quarterly utility bill and childcare expenses.

Also spent £100 ish on new clothes and school shoes for ds (outgrown ones going to a charity shop). We went to a show together last week and I bought him some new drawing supplies, too.

But somehow I still managed three NSDs for the week, so I'm pleased with that! Hoping for another one today, if DH will buy cat food later.

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2024Hackathon · 07/04/2024 11:15

payday has already disappeared into credit card bill (some of which is work-related that I'll be reimbursed for)

At one point last year, I was owed almost £5K in expenses. We have an offset mortgage so that also impacted the offset for the mortgage and cost me more money.

I resent business travel so much.

I mostly have NSDs. We're still eating from the pantry inheritance. The only items I buy have turned out to be Peloton related (padded shorts, the shoes).

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Disneyland2022 · 07/04/2024 14:10

Ok not a bad weekend.

fri - £35 top up shop
sat - Nsd
sun - £6 in the garden centre which could of definitely been avoided.
£20 fuel which is obviously essential.

quite happy with that tbh.

need to get my head square for a no spend week. I know I can do this.
I have enough fuel and food - I just need willpower.

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TheFlis · 07/04/2024 14:14

@2024Hackathon Encourage your DH to look for 2nd hand weights before he shells out. I have given some away for free on a local Facebook page before and often see them at car boots and in charity shops.

Edited to add: just checked facebook Marketplace and there are about 40 sets within 3 miles of me ranging from free to £30, I’m guessing lockdown purchases but novelty has now worn off!

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psuedocream3 · 07/04/2024 18:46

Thanks for the new thread!

Not been too bad this week considering its Easter break for the kids, £18 on bowling, and annoyingly £20 on a replacement item which has seemingly vanished without explanation.

No spends planned this month, but becoming a bit bored in life, it's a bit mundane not spending anything. I don't really get joy from a walk or coffee out, and hobbies generally cost a fair bit. Living fairly rural it's always petrol spends beforre I've started.

I'll be trying to keep busy next week selling anything not nailed down on vinted, to put twoards the car insurance costs. I suppose I best do some quotes to see how much it's been inflated this year.

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pistachiosanscream · 07/04/2024 21:28

Yesterday I spent €24 on a small shop so a total of €36 on groceries this week.

family party last night and I spent €46 on a round of drinks. Food was paid for in advance snd DH did the driving. NSD today and avoided a takeaway which is good. MIL called today when I was out and walked the garden with DH. We have now decided to buy some more things for the garden this year so will need to fit these in to the budget. Will cost about €500 in furniture snd probably the same is supplies. I’ve a roundy birthday this year so hoping to have a party in the garden for it.

must tell her more of my plans actually as DH is much more receptive to her suggestions than mine. Even when they are the same😂she can feed them to him for me.

hoping for a few NSDs days this week and I’ll aim to only do a small shop again at the end of the week and use the pantry snd freezer stores more.

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Cuwins · 07/04/2024 21:35

Hope it's ok to join these threads.
We are saving for a big holiday in a couple of years so trying to watch the spending.
I have a 2 year old and find being in the flat with her hard work so get out almost everyday but that can mean that little bits of spending creep in.
Managed to avoid the temptation if a takeaway this evening when dinner plans went awry so that's a good start! But then did spend £60 on some new trainers- however they were desperately needed and have been putting it off for ages.

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Cuwins · 07/04/2024 21:38

Tomorrow I do need to go to Hobbycraft for a couple of activity supplies for my DD but should only be a couple of quid. Then planning to go to the library so that's free.

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2024Hackathon · 07/04/2024 23:14

TheFlis · 07/04/2024 14:14

@2024Hackathon Encourage your DH to look for 2nd hand weights before he shells out. I have given some away for free on a local Facebook page before and often see them at car boots and in charity shops.

Edited to add: just checked facebook Marketplace and there are about 40 sets within 3 miles of me ranging from free to £30, I’m guessing lockdown purchases but novelty has now worn off!

Edited

I've passed along the hint, thank you!

Cuwins - little bits of spending creep in.

A while back, a poster quoted something that has really stuck with me (I can't find them but, paraphrasing):

£5 mindless spending a day is almost £2000 a year.

It's easy to spend (on average) £27.90 a day on not much. Did you ever think you had £10,000 a year to send on nothing?

I think of these all the time and they really help me to think long and hard about what that money could mean in the long-term (whether it's a much-needed holiday, an ISA, savings, or over-paying the mortgage).

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Vinorosso74 · 08/04/2024 22:44

Done well the last two days. Topped car up with petrol yesterday the drive to my parents £20. Nothing today as my mum paid for lunch in a cafe.

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HowDidThisHappenDinesh · 09/04/2024 00:08

Checking in after the weekend. NSD Friday. Spendy Saturday after meeting with a friend. Didn’t plan to spend so much but I bought her some treats as she’s going through a breakup. Sunday, supposed to be at a friends for dinner but DH’s chronic pain was really bad and we had to cancel. Had nothing planned for dinner instead so we ordered in, managed to do it for under £20 which fed us for lunch today too. Not ideal but not the end of the world.
Today, did the big shop. I’ve been avoiding supermarkets because I noticed I was picking up random bits I didn’t need but today I’m glad I went in petson because they had some good yellow stickers and specials. Got two things of mince and 1.5kg of chicken breast, which when divvied out was actually 1.75kg ! Should get at least 6 meals from that all. Portioned out and put in the freezer. And even with unplanned meat spends I spent only £40. Meals are now planned til next Thursday with stocks for later meals too.

We’re entertaining on Saturday so I’ll need to do an Amazon fresh order of booze and bbq stuff. Also going to buy DH some bath stuff to ease his pain a bit tomorrow. Going to try to keep spending to only this this week, don’t want to fall into the credit card trap this month.

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pistachiosanscream · 09/04/2024 11:14

I hope everyone is doing ok this week. I am really seeing how instagram etc triggers my want to spend. I used to allow this as i have a natural bent to stock up but i don't need a new mascara as i dont wear mascara except once in a blue moon!

House purchases will always be my downfall though. I went looking into outdoor solar string lights and then remembered i already have them and bunting (See stock up nature).

We have decided to buy picnic tables for a part of the garden (where i will hang the string lights) and i want to also get some outdoor cushion boxes for this area as i know i won't be arsed dragging cushions in and out of the shed while ill happily put them in the boxes. However it will be next month before i can buy the picnic benches as we have had so many one off expenses this month. I might buy the storage boxes myself but will wait until nearer the end of the month to see if i have personal spending funds for these. I really want it to stop raining too

NSD yesterday and fingers crossed for one today. Ive also packaged up a return for the post office but wont go there until the end of the week when ill need to buy some groceries. Otherwise ill be tempted to go to the shop and buy stuff i don't need

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Rainbow1901 · 09/04/2024 11:35

Had four NSD so far and yesterday signed up with BRSK for a new two year contract for cheaper Broadband, Telephone and TV. Been with Virgin over 15 years and had enough of their constant price increases and now being hassled by them to stay with them. Even their best offer is pathetic! Savings will be in excess of £30 per month - so very happy with that.

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Cuwins · 09/04/2024 11:45

Ending up spending more than intended yesterday as I realised the toddlers shoes were too small- so new shoes but managed to get a half price pair so only £19 which is very good for her shoes. Plus I already have wellies in the new size as I got them free off Facebook awhile ago.
Friend paid for an activity with our toddlers this morning which was kind of her but I did pop into Tesco (problem with going to an activity next door to tesco!) for a small top up and some bird seed to make fatballs with toddler this afternoon.

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Disneyland2022 · 09/04/2024 13:38

Nsd yesterday & today! Wahoo!

Lo had swimming lesson this morning so mum treatEd is to a hot chocolate, which was lovely. Next week I’ll return the favour.

this afternoon I need to upload more on vinted!

aiming for a Nsd tomorrow too - I have invited a neighbour over for a cuppa so that will avoid the temptation to go anywhere!

will report back tomorrow as I find that keeps me accountable!

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SheepAndSword · 09/04/2024 13:49

HowDidThisHappenDinesh · 04/04/2024 23:44

Thanks for the new thread @pistachiosanscream
April off to a… rocky start. Bank hol Monday we went to the pub with family, spent £80 all in on a couple rounds and some food. Again shocking how much we spend without thinking.
Tuesday my head was a bit sore! spent £3 on a Pret breakfast.
Yesterday was a NSD. Today should have been the same but I was craving jaffa cakes and ending up spending £16 in M&S on snacks and dinner bits. Then £13 on beers and chocolate for the weekend. I have no willpower. Oh well - we planned to get a pizza tomorrow but there’s mince to use up so I’m making a spag bol instead, so I’m making up for the spending there.

This month I budgeted for some house stuff that we’ve desperately needed, felt good to pay for it all upfront on payday. Unfortunately then our hob light and our living room bulb both broke and they’re both awkward ones to replace. If it happened halfway through the month I’d push through til May but I might have to play around with the budget and see if I can order bulbs earlier.

Cupboards and freezer are mostly stocked, so other than our milk and veg delivery I’m planning not to spend much on groceries this month. Back on financial track.

I don't mean this in a nasty way but I'm slightly relieved that I'm not the only one to go off track in April. It was by £500 which is manageable but this was not what I had planned.

I caught myself this morning in a reverie about buying a couple of things then had to rap my thought process on the knuckles quite sharply.

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moimichme · 10/04/2024 17:40

Hack £5k owed for work expenses, wow! Thankfully I don't have to travel very often for my job (a few times per year) so it never goes above £750 ish at the high end.

NSDs so far all week, apart from £10 spent on milkshake and ice cream with ds on Sunday, plus £48 on groceries earlier in the day.

Let's keep up the good work and keep our purse strings closed when we can!

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Disneyland2022 · 10/04/2024 20:43

3 days Nsd so far. I’ve spent today batch cooking meals for the next two days as I’m on Long days at work.
so that will be another 2 Nsds in the bag - 💪
feeling motivated this week!!

keep going everyone!

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