Anyone’s parents babysitting whilst you work?

[xAJMx]

Hi I’ve been forced to take Unpaid parental leave as I cannot work from home with a 3year old and they are refusing to furlough me

My son is normally with my mum one day a week and my partners another day and two days at nursery

Partner is key worker

But I know people who have still been using grandparents to babysit so they can work? Is anyone else doing this? I feel wrong for even considering it?

[GeriGeranium]

@HatRack - parents do have limited rights to emergency leave when they need to care for their children, but there have been no new rules for workers who no longer have childcare because of covid. Ultimately it’s a worker’s responsibility to arrange childcare. If they can’t do that, and consequently can’t do the job, then of course they can be sacked.

[Disneylover4321]

@gerigeranium
@HatRack

That is exactly why some people need to use family members or friends for childcare.

[GeriGeranium]

Yeah, agreed. Ultimately everybody has to make decisions about overall risk. Losing your job is also a risk!

[Siameasy]

DH’s mum yes. We are both shift workers (emergency services). Luckily she’s only in her 50s.

[Disneylover4321]

@GeriGeranium

Yes, I'm not saying people should break lockdown rules but sometimes it is the only option unfortunately.

[GeriGeranium]

Yeah. We’ve been on strict lockdown for 9 weeks now (pulled dc out of school before the official lockdown began) but I’m conscious we’re lucky we can do that - I’m a sahm anyway and dh is working from home, still on full salary, so we’re really fortunate.

[Disneylover4321]

@gerigeranium
At least you recognize that your fortunate.

The people I can't stand/get pissed off with are the ones that are in that fortunate position but then criticize and moan at other people for using friends and family for childcare when they have no choice as they need to work to provide for their family.

Just because you don't need to use friends and family for childcare, it doesn't mean that other people don't need to.

[Disneylover4321]

@Siameasy

That's ok though as you need to work.

[Disneylover4321]

People are doing what is best for their family and sometimes that means having to use family or friends for childcare.

[ooooohbetty]

I've done it for my grandchild. I took leave from work to do it. No choice.

[Disneylover4321]

@ooooohbetty

And that is ok to do when there is no other option.

[Thesispieces]

My cousin moved her grandchildren in as soon as school closure announced so her daughter could continue to work. Her grandchildren have been with her for 7 weeks and she says happy to keep them until sept if it means her daughter keeping her job and paying her mortgage. No other choice.

[Disneylover4321]

@thesispieces

That's very good and they shouldn't worry or pay attention to anyone who criticizes them because they are doing what is best for their family and they have no other choice.

[inuinnit]

Breaking cover - we do this. Parents moved in before lockdown as we anticipated this and they have been staying with us for a few weeks, then going home to check on their garden/pick up clothes at weekend, coming back.

Both of us wfh at full-on City jobs where we are expected to be online and fully responsive from 9.30 until 6. Busier than ever, including covering people who are struggling wit their childcare. We have a 2 year old who does not nap, is not interested in screens, is awake from 7.30am until 9.45 each day and it would be literally impossible for us to work otherwise.

I cannot feel bad about it. We are not increasing any risk at all. We would be perfectly entitled to get a nanny (which a lot of people I know have done) but as I'm pregnant we all decided that since my parents are low risk and happy to do it, it would be better as we know that they are being very cautious to social distance and not expose us to any additional risk, more so than a new nanny would.

Government guidelines are laughable - basically it's technically not allowed, but if I paid them, it would be ok, even if they were travelling every day to come here (which they are not). I'm not going to martyr myself, my job and my child to badly thought out government guidelines.

So many people I know are also doing this.

[Disneylover4321]

@inuinnit
Don't worry or feel bad about it.

[MeadowHay]

The problem with the government guidelines is they have to appeal the lowest common denominator in effect! I.e. people who are unable to unwilling to use reason to assess their actions effect on transmission of covid. The police are therefore being tasked with being the arbitrators of what is or isn't reasonable rather than just strictly applying the law. As you said your situation reduces transmission when compared to an alternative which would be a nanny. Another example here is hospital staff continuing to car share with each other (which many are). This is not allowed by government guidelines, but the alternative is many of them getting the bus and mixing with far more people, so much worse for transmission.

[Disneylover4321]

@MeadowHay

Exactly.

[Juanmorebeer]

@stuckforthefourthtime I can't actually see that text on the link you posted can you point it out to me I've been looking for information on this for ages!

[Juanmorebeer]

It's simple surely? You just change their name from 'Mum' or 'Dad' to 'my nanny'


I'm not even joking now and this is what I will do because I'm now fully losing the plot with the so called 'guidelines'

[xAJMx]

I’ve had an email from his nursery today saying they opening on the 1st of June

He normally does two days at nursery and one days at each nannies

I have decided that from the 1st of June his going back with the nannies as I believe it is the safer option of the two

Once nursery has been open a while I will reassess the nursery situation but as it stands I will be sending him back to the nannies

[Disneylover4321]

@Alicemovedtothecity

I have sent you a PM x