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Original poster

Anyone’s parents babysitting whilst you work?

71 replies

xAJMx · 10/05/2020 20:29

Hi I’ve been forced to take Unpaid parental leave as I cannot work from home with a 3year old and they are refusing to furlough me

My son is normally with my mum one day a week and my partners another day and two days at nursery

Partner is key worker

But I know people who have still been using grandparents to babysit so they can work? Is anyone else doing this? I feel wrong for even considering it?

OP posts:
Stuckforthefourthtime · 10/05/2020 21:21

@Ponoka7
It was made clear that grandparents can still provide childcare if necessary. It's only if they are vulnerable that you have to think carefully about

Actually it was specifically made clear that unpaid care is NOT allowed. Maybe that will change when the full new document is released tomorrow, but the current guidance is #12 here: "People should not be leaving their home to undertake unpaid and informal care of others’ children."

www.gov.uk/government/publications/coronavirus-outbreak-faqs-what-you-can-and-cant-do/coronavirus-outbreak-faqs-what-you-can-and-cant-do#can-i-travel-to-someones-house-to-look-after-children

Original poster
xAJMx · 10/05/2020 21:23

Yeah I’m feeling if this goes on any longer then I won’t have any choice

Luckily I had a small bonus before this happening so that’s been helping with my partners wage but the way this is going his not going to be able to pay everything for much longer

I’m just in two minds and always thinking about how much I’d be judged if I sent him -there not vulnerable or high risk but you know what people are like

OP posts:
Disneylover4321 · 10/05/2020 21:24

@Stuckforthefourthtime

Some people have no other choice!

Disneylover4321 · 10/05/2020 21:26

@Alicemovedtothecity

Don't worry, your doing your best to provide for your family and that means sending your child to their grandparents.

Don't worry about what other people say, just do what you need to do to provide for your family.

MereDintofPandiculation · 10/05/2020 21:28

As soon as my DD ( teacher) is back at work, I’ll be going to her house to take care of my 9 month old Grandson. I can’t wait. Wouldn't it be more sensible for GS to come to you? If DD is spreading virus, having GS in your home will give you less of a viral load than being in her home.

Alicemovedtothecity · 10/05/2020 21:30

@Disneylover4321thank youSmile it’s hard to make such big choices at a time like this. I do agree lockdown rules should be kept to as much as possible but not all shoe fits all does it as it’s shows on threads like these people don’t have a choice sometimes.

Also Love your name, desperately praying we can go Disney again soon! Smile

TheVeryHungryTortoise · 10/05/2020 21:33

@xAJMx if you need to work and therefore need child care someone can provide this for you including your parents.

What type of keyworker is your partner? I know someone using a volunteer through the national health supporters organisation to help with childcare.

Spagbol88 · 10/05/2020 21:33

I'm a teacher wfh and am seriously struggling to support my students whilst caring for my nearly 1 year old. Tempted to go to my parents for a few days per week to get some help. However, I don't think it's allowed and obviously there's the risk of infection etc.
They're not in the vulnerable category but still.

EachDubh · 10/05/2020 21:39

My kids go to my parent , my siblings children go there as well as they are a nurse. It means two key workers are able to work parenta is very aware of situation and made the choice to do this.

MyHipsDontLieUnfortunately · 10/05/2020 22:07

Lots of 'I will do what's best for my family' meaning 'I will do what's best for myself.'

Alicemovedtothecity · 10/05/2020 22:34

@MyHipsDontLieUnfortunately no not the case people are doing what’s best for their families not for themselves. Loosing a job means bills are unable to be paid which means homes are lost, that’s affects the whole family.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 10/05/2020 23:14

@Disneylover4321 I totally understand and that for some people this lockdown is unworkable and there is no zero risk option (unlike the many privileged MN posters on other threads who seem to suggest tjat any parent who truly loves their childshould be able to manage schooling from home until September). However did want to mention given that the pp had stated it was allowed, when it very much isn't (yet) and they said that fines are increasing...

LST · 11/05/2020 07:49

@MyHipsDontLieUnfortunately so what else do you suggest?

HatRack · 11/05/2020 11:02

Can an employer force you to work when you have no childcare due to covid19? Wouldn't that be grounds for unfair dismissal?

Disneylover4321 · 11/05/2020 16:34

@LST

I would like to know what else she would suggest as well.

Disneylover4321 · 11/05/2020 16:35

@MyHipsDontLieUnfortunately

No,it doesn't mean I will do what is best for me, it means I will do what is best for my family, exactly like what @Alicemovedtothecity said.

nanbread · 11/05/2020 16:41

What about those who are in same financial situation but don't have GPs etc?

What's their choice?

Disneylover4321 · 11/05/2020 16:46

@Alicemovedtothecity

Have sent you a PM xx

Disneylover4321 · 11/05/2020 16:47

@nanbread

They could speak to their friends and see if they can help or speak to their school and see if their children can use the childcare provision.

IncrediblySadToo · 11/05/2020 17:13

@Ponoka7

It was made clear that grandparents can still provide childcare if necessary

Nonsense

It was made clear this was NOT recommended AT ALL.

You have chosen to go against the 'rules' at least own that

Again today, Boris has said if you have childcare issues (due to schools/nursery not being open) then Employers should allow for that

But 🙄🙄 in the real world, many will not. I don't blame people for using grandparents (but I do worry about the risk to their parents) but it should not be made out it's within the 'rules' when it is not!

Disneylover4321 · 11/05/2020 17:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pastabest · 11/05/2020 17:21

They could speak to their friends and see if they can help or speak to their school and see if their children can use the childcare provision

Disney eat al have you been living on another planet the last 6 weeks?

Lots of us have had to try and do our best working from home with toddlers, it's been absolutely clear you shouldn't be mixing households at all, it's not ok just because it's massively inconvenient for you not to!

I've been in tears most days trying to manage it all, I've two sets of grandparents who could have helped and made it all manageable but I didn't because it increases the risks for everyone. Makes me so angry when people think they are special and not subject to the same rules as everyone else because it's too hard.

Disneylover4321 · 11/05/2020 17:23

@pastabest

I am sorry to hear about what you are going through.

People who are working from home shouldn't send their children to school or another household for childcare.

I was talking about people who have to go to work.

Disneylover4321 · 11/05/2020 17:28

@IncrediblySadToo

Some people have no choice though.

Disneylover4321 · 11/05/2020 17:48

@nervousnelly8

That's fine though as you have no other option and you need to work to provide for your family.