Is it ok to see family in the garden social distancing ?

[starrynight19]

Just that really if we stick to the 2m guidelines.

In Germany people have been able to go for a socially distanced walk with friends

@DamnYankee it was @loopylindazdaughter who wishes her parents wouldn’t come for lunch, not me.
Mine don’t come for lunch. We do short garden chats but no food.
We are also way more than 2m apart when we chat.

Yes we have been doing this
At first we stood at the end of the drive and talked down the length of the drive
Now I put garden seats out in the back garden at about a 4 m distance apart and we sit and chat outside in the back garden

Both sets of parents have done this

It’s been lovely to chat and feels more normal

Kids are used to it now and don’t attempt to go over to hug or touch their grandparents which is a little sad

Yes of course, we need to keep our spirits up. The guidelines are there to be interpreted with common sense : drive 150 miles to parents house- no. Walk to parents house - yes. Short drive to drop off shopping- yes.
I argue that occasional visits to relatives is a necessary journey, if otherwise they would be lonely, depressed, no means to get shopping.
However, this is mumsnet, you must never see your family again and sit in a darkened room wearing a hair shirt while locking down for years.

In our street two metres is about the length from front doors to front gate, so people stand at the gate which makes it very obvious. It’s definitely happening more and I would say most houses in our street do it. Kids also play out in their front gardens, so there are numerous ‘just passing’ chats. We also get police going up the street most days (route from the little station to their patrol) and they say hello and don’t intervene in people chatting.

That’s interesting to the two posters who have mentioned police passing and not saying anything Thankyou.

I caved this weekend and took shopping to my parents that they probably didn't need just so I could see them for the first time since early March.

When I got there they had set up a chair for me in the garden around 5m away from theirs & I stayed & chatted, it was lovely and I'm sure no-one was put at risk but I felt so anxious that we would get in trouble, I really hope this is allowed soon.

Mental health is really important too I think we really need to be able to see family & friends occasionally if they are local and we can keep our outdoors distance.

@Inkpaperstars - I know it's bad form to reference another thread but Flies did basically state elsewhere that she and people round her are coming out of lockdown and if the govt want to look like they are in control they had better pretend that is their plan too. So it doesn't seem like she is likely to care that much about the facts. Maybe she has decided asymptomatic people definitely don't spread it

It certainly is bad form to reference another thread in order to make a disgraceful childish statement like that. You have given any FACTS for me to care about and I did not say that asymptomatic people don't spread it because I DON'T KNOW and neither do you. You behave like an ignorant bully, trying to browbeat people into your way of thinking.

From one of the articles YOU posted:
The World Health Organisation (WHO) has also released guidelines on this, saying that airborne bioaerosol transmission of COVID-19 has not been reported, except in very specific circumstances (my bold)

In the context of COVID-19, airborne transmission may be possible in specific circumstances and settings in which procedures or support treatments that generate aerosols are performed," they write. This includes things like removing a patient from a ventilator or manual ventilation

To date, some scientific publications provide initial evidence on whether the COVID-19 virus can be detected in the air and thus, some news outlets have suggested that there has been airborne transmission. These initial findings need to be interpreted carefully

[Hmm]

None of my family live close enough but if they did I'd have no problem with this.

Govt have to issue guidelines and I've been adhering to them. Reality is living with this thing is our new reality and if the odd chat here and there keeps people spirits up, and it's done responsibly, I can't get worked up about it. Small interactions like this might make lockdown more bearable if it's extended again.

Lucky some of you live near family :)

I really don't see the harm in this as long as it's not every day or if you are having to drive miles unnecessarily.

I visited my friend on her birthday, dropped her present on her step then we sat on her front garden to chat for about an hour.

Both the houses where DH and I live, and DS and his GF are living have direct access to the back gardens without having to go through the house so we are planning to start getting together. We will take our own drinks / snacks and deckchairs with us and sit with at least 2m space.

Both my friend and DS live about a mile away so not exactly driving a long way.

And if I still had my parents living independently I would definitely have been visiting to check on them, although this would have come under a 'care' visit.

Flies you said that the distancing advice was based on people who were symptomatic and that those who were would surely all be at home by now. You also haven't really qualified many of your own statements.

I am not trying to browbeat anyone into 'my way of thinking'. My way of thinking is just to try and look at what information is emerging and be guided by specialists. I try to qualify what I say, eg. I said What the infection risk is in situations like that, I don't know.

I do apologise for referencing your comments and for any misinterpretation of them. I feel we may be at cross purposes here, and I probably should have said nothing.

Flies you said that the distancing advice was based on people who were symptomatic Which it is

You also haven't really qualified many of your own statements I haven't made any 'statements' that require qualification

My way of thinking is just to try and look at what information is emerging and be guided by specialists You are trying to sound so reasonable now but you have been all over MN pushing an agenda. You are 'guided' by the specialists you agree with.

Thanks for the apology and in future don't engage with me and certainly don't stalk me - you should know that's against THE RULES as well.

It depends of course. My parents are in their 80s and 100s of miles away. I'm in a higher risk area and live with a key worker so no. Your parents might be in their 60s and live on your state sanctioned walking route.

It's a tricky one for the government because we could quite safely, if we assess the risks sensibly, loosen the lockdown on social stuff like popping round to check on our parents and having a moral boosting chat from 10 feet away with masks on or meeting a friend for a walk once a week or staying the night with a partner who lives alone if both if you have been at home the last 6 weeks. But they couldn't give a shiny shit whether you ever see your parents partner or friends again. What they'd like is to get even more people back to work but doing that without increasing transmission is much harder.

Flies

Ok, fine. We'll agree to disagree I guess, by statement I simply meant things you have stated.

I don't think I am guided by the people I agree with, because I don't see why I would have any preference before hearing guidance. I don't have an agenda. I will reflect on your comments though, I certainly don't want to be in that position.

Ps I genuinely apologise for being grumpy. As I said upthread I regret commenting at all and I should have been more restrained, sorry.

I've calmed down now Ink so apologies in return for my rant!

In mitigation, my sleep patterns are all over the place and i'm in lockdown with my dm who has dementia. I should probably stick to the fun threads..

Thank you Flies but you didn't rant, don't worry.

I am sorry to hear about your DM, that sounds really tough.

I think I have been reading too many virus threads and getting myself worked up, and being up at odd hours, I wasn't myself and I am really sorry for having a go. I am also trying not to spend so much time on the virus boards.

It made such a difference to my dad's spirits yesterday when I said I might bring a bottle of wine next time (no, MN police, if I'm driving I won't be drinking it). Little things when you're 91, alone and your wife's in a different country and you can't hug your children or grandchildren mean a lot.

I'll take our glasses and bring them home to wash - even though we're all very rural and there have been 2 confirmed deaths between our 2 post codes.