Is it ok to see family in the garden social distancing ?

[starrynight19]

Just that really if we stick to the 2m guidelines.

[Springhere]

I've been thinking about doing this at my mum's house. We've dropped off medication a couple of times and chatted from the bottom of the drive but it would be lovely to take the dc and have a snack in the garden while she sits at the patio door. There would be no real risk and huge emotional benefit for us all. I find these comments very heartening.

[FliesandPies]

The 2m rule (which is insufficient anyway) is for passing people, queueing etc, not for sustained conversation whether you know them or not

2m is perfectly fine outside for conversation, it's only indoors that it might be insufficient and that would only be where people are symptomatic and coughing/sneezing.

[Redolent]

Some of the people in this thread were among those who’d crucified that desperate mum who wanted to take her autistic son out for exercise more than once a day. Now they adapt the rules as they please. Just goes to show how many are hypocrites and that you shouldn’t ask people for advice here. Do as you see fit.

[Ilovemypantry]

@squigglepants

Your parents have a trampoline? How cool 😎

[MadinMarch]

I live alone, and have some high risk health issues so am not going out at all. I've had some friends visit to bring me supplies and stay for a chat and a cuppa or a glass of wine from time to time. I have large patio doors at the back of the house. I leave the doors slightly ajar and I sit inside (away from the ajar door) behind the glass and my friend sits on the patio. Luckily I have side access so I leave the gate open and pour a large glass of wine or a pot of coffee for them before they arrive. When they leave I ask them to either leave the glass on the table or put in a plastic box that I've placed nearby. They remain in the box for a few days and then I put them in the dishwasher using some kitchen roll to transfer it. The box gets washed.
This arrangement is obviously very weather dependent. It's always the highlight of my week!

[U2HasTheEdge]

Yep, I have started seeing my mum again.

It did me the world of good to see her. She is no more danger to me (and vice versa) then someone standing near me in a queue, less so if anything.

[Tiredtiredtired100]

I’ve done this twice so far (in nearly 7 weeks) so that my parents can see their only grandson. I’ve combined it with dropping off supplies at their house and they put toys in the garden so he can play and they watch and chat to us through the window. It’s lovely and also sad as we’re so close yet so far away and my DS really doesn’t understand and keeps trying to get into the house. But it’s better than nothing and I don’t feel guilty as I’ve combined it with dropping supplies off that they need.

[GlomOfNit]

This thread is fascinating - the majority are now having socially distanced meetings with family and friends outside and admitting to it - a few weeks ago this thread would have read very differently! I think it's representative of what's happening out there. Attitudes are changing.

I think if people are really careful it's going to be fine - like others have suggested, this is how we will progress after lockdown ends, after all. For those of us not shielding, anyway.

But it's human nature to push things a bit if you 'get away with it' without anything bad happening. A bring-your-own coffee in the garden will morph into something more contact-y, inevitably. Both sets of my immediate neighbours have been pushing the boundaries for weeks already, with occasional visits in the garden from a friend and her kids (playdate in their paddling pool ffs) and on the other side, my neighbours have friends over - they sit in the conservatory and chat through the door to the kitchen ... people push it.

I just wish my mum lived more locally, we'd be round outside her house waving. She's on her own and already has MH issues. It's too far to drive and I'm sure the police would say it was unnecessary if we got stopped.

[TheFormidableMrsC]

@Redolent Christ that's shocking. I've got an autistic DS, I wouldn't think twice about taking him out more than once a day if I had to. I am led by him. It's perfectly OK and in the guidelines. I hope that person did the right thing by her child, I really sympathise.

[YappityYapYap]

You're going to walk past anyway. What's the difference between you walking right past or stopping, getting their attention and chatting metres apart for 10 minutes then moving along? Nothing. Unless you spit a lot when you talk and it can travel across a whole garden or something

[FraterculaArctica]

I would say no. The instructions at the start of lockdown were very clear, if anyone asks you.to.meet up with them you should say No. It doesn't come under one of the reasons for leaving your house either. That hasn't changed.

[HugeAckmansWife]

fraterculA but most of these visits are happening as part of an allowed activity, taking food or as part of a walk. What actual, tangible difference will it make if people keep a, distance and bring their own coffee etc? I think as time has gone in people have got used to certain practices like wiping door handles or keeping their distance so they've sussed how they can safely see loved ones in a way that may not have been clear at first. We keep asking the gov to treat us like adults. Blind obedience to rules regardless of individual circumstances is not being adult. Each person making their own judgement about their own risk factors and behaving accordingly is.

[FliesandPies]

We keep asking the gov to treat us like adults. Blind obedience to rules regardless of individual circumstances is not being adult

That's a very important point.

[Campervan69]

Blind adherence to pointless rules is no way to behave I agree. Everyone on this thread is an adult and able to risk assess their behaviour. This will be the way forward anyway.

[frenchfancy81]

No.

[Procrastination4]

We do, but I’m in Ireland, rural location, big gardens front and back so absolutely no problem social distancing. We also have very few cases of Covid-19 in our county, and anyway, my husband has contact with no one but me (he’s working from home), my parents have no contact with anyone but me. I’m working from home also, but I do the grocery shopping -carry hand sanitizer, do my hands at the supermarket going in and out, and then with my own back in the car, and wear a face mask if going to the shop. (I have 6 reusable cotton or linen face masks -that’s how paranoid I am about reducing the spread of covid -19. )

[wasgoingmadinthecountry]

We go round with dad's shopping and do a few gardening jobs - he's 91. We take our own mugs and coffee in a flask and sit the other side of his big garden table. Our conversation isn't great because his hearing isn't great but it kind of works. I'd rather give him a hug. Might take wine tomorrow.

[Procrastination4]

By the way, I think if I were living in parts of England I’d be afraid to step outside the door! But then again, I feel the same about Dublin at the moment. Yesterday, out of over 40 deaths, 2 were Mayo, 2 were Wexford, 3 were Cavan, 1 each Cork and Limerick, 1 in Laois and all the rest were in Dublin.

[wasgoingmadinthecountry]

And dad was living in S of France with his wife - was desperate to come "home" - she's still there near her family. DH drove down the week before lock down to bring him back. He was adamant. I am absolutely the squeezed middle with all the attached guilt.

[DamnYankee]

@Chrisinthemorning

If you wish they were not coming, can you not say no to lunch? They just show up?

Not saying you have no backbone. Probably DH is being a bit stubborn. And IL's have history of being (a bit!) pushy.

Sorry.

[Procrastination4]

Or, perhaps more relevant, geographically speaking, 1 in a border town in the North, 2 in the west, 2 in the south, and over 35 in the East. Scary!

[DamnYankee]

Blind adherence to pointless rules is no way to behave. Everyone on this thread is an adult and able to risk assess their behaviour.

Yes, including the over 70's. I have lost a lot of respect for our local government (US), because they are treating us like we have no brain, executive function, or reason.

And, yes, I'm American. But most of us are not blindly independent.

[PeachOrchid27]

Yes. I think it’s ok. It’s about common sense. You aren’t putting yourself or anyone else in danger so yes go for it!

[excitedmumtobe87]

I’m really paranoid about this virus and strict about the rules HOWEVER if you’re legitimately walking past and they live close... there’s no harm in a swift chat with you standing on the pavement and them a few metres away/at their door. Just make it quick passing and infrequent

[Inkpaperstars]

I have one relative who lives alone and is 95, her daughter is dropping off a shopping bag and then sitting at at distance in the garden for a few mins. I think that is totally fair because most people that age would be probably having some support or care in the home and if she can manage with her daughter visiting outside she is doing really well.

I have dropped off food a couple of times to elderly relatives near by, they open the door and disappear, I go and put the bags by the door then retreat to the end of the drive at which point they come back to the door and chat at that distance for three or four minutes maybe.

My DM who lives alone is in her eighties and has not had any real life social contact, beyond the odd supermarket delivery driver at a distance, for about two months. Unfortunately she lives several hours drive away but it could just about be done in a day there and back, so I think as restrictions are eased we maybe could go and stay at a long distance in the garden. If she is comfortable with that. She said earlier that she thinks maybe in time she will see one or two people locally who have also been isolating, in their gardens.

It's all very unfortunate.