CV shows that a lot of people really don’t understand mental illness

[FuckOffCorona]

I have seen so many sneering, condescending and ignorant posts from people who don’t believe or accept the reality of living with mental illness, and who are oblivious to the very serious dangers self isolation and / or lockdown can pose to those who suffer from mental ill health.

At least two threads have popped up in the last hour about exercising outdoors, with multiple posters expressing disingenuous shock at the idea that someone would need to exercise outside. But I am not exaggerating when I say that running has saved my life, because before I started using running as a form of meditation and physical therapy, I tried to kill myself twice.

The government recognised the importance of exercise. They have specifically allowed it to take place. So why do posters on here feel like they have the right to be so supercilious about those who will be exercising outside?

I have seen similar cruelty directed towards posters concerned about the effect isolation will have on their depression or anxiety. Those people don’t have the luxury of seeing friends, but any attempt to express this concern is met by a deluge of posters calling them selfish for feeling worried, even when they have no intention of breaking the rules.

This pandemic has brought out the very worst of mumsnet, and I have been so disappointed in the tenor of this site. But even so, is it too much to ask that people at least attempt to understand that for some people, mental illness is as much of a threat to life as the virus itself, and a little compassion would go a long way?

[Roweeeeena]

The atmosphere on here is bordering on dangerous currently and I think MNHQ should be removing many of the comments. This situation seems to have given users carte blanche to be exceptionally cruel and almost goading to people suffering with poor mental health. CV has certainly shown true colours and as we expected, be kind was short lived.

[IStressheadI]

I have great sympathy for people who are going to struggle with the lockdown.

I am concerned for my mental health as well. I'm stocking up on websites and images to distress and deal with my anxiety disorder. I'm trying to be as proactive with it before it really starts to stress me out. I would recommend anyone who is struggling to do the same. Look after yourself, whatever that looks like for you. The positive mental health thread has been helping.

I am also approaching this from a slightly different angle, because I am more worried that at the end of this period I will be too anxious to go out, as I previously struggled with anxiety leaving the house and I am worried that this will trigger a bit of a relapse.

[IStressheadI]

Destress not distress. That's the opposite of what I want.
Blooming autocorrect.

[Kuponut]

CV has certainly shown true colours and as we expected, be kind was short lived.

Been like that for ages now but generally confined to AIBU where the boot well and truly got stuck in on anyone who dared cross the hive mind or someone having a bad day. Be kind lasted about a week and now we're back to "oh I'm just telling it how it is" or playing the hypothetical dead person if someone asks if they're OK to stand in the central paving slab of their back garden, over 2m from the fence on every side, and inhale a molecule of air.

[Roweeeeena]

Kuponut very true. I just can't understand what satisfaction someone gets from goading and pushing people who are clearly struggling. People are fragile at the moment. Imagine living with the fact that your "man the fuck up and deal with it. People have lived through wars" comment was the one that broke someone. There's a reason mental health teams don't talk to patients like that. It doesn't help.

[LolaSmiles]

At least two threads have popped up in the last hour about exercising outdoors, with multiple posters expressing disingenuous shock at the idea that someone would need to exercise outside. But I am not exaggerating when I say that running has saved my life, because before I started using running as a form of meditation and physical therapy, I tried to kill myself twice

I agree being able to exercise and get outside can be crucial for positive mental health.

However, I'm also deeply worried that the sheer number of people who are selfish idiots in their conduct are putting my ability to exercise outdoors at risk.

So every time someone decides they'll go to the beach for fresh air because it's quieter than their local town centre, every time someone goes off for a morning at the local county park (along with half the county) there's crowds and nobody bothers to file social distancing, which increases the likelihood of a full lockdown.

Whilst I'm sure there are MN who genuinely regularly go outdoors to places where they'd never see a soul in 6 hours and they only go there because the streets around where they live are so crowded it's impossible to socially distance, I'd be amazed if they were the majority in real life. In fact, I'd imagine that a lot of people who've suddenly decided they love running/walking/jogging and must drive to their nearest nice open space can count on one hand the number of times they've done any meaningful outdoor activity in the last 6 months to year.

[TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet]

You’re absolutely right. I had a panic attack last night after the PM’s announcement. I haven’t had a panic attack in a long time. DH made me put my shoes on and walk up and down the street at 10pm last night to calm down. I’m not even facing much time in the house unlike some people because I still have to go to work. But people who are lucky enough not to have suffered badly with MH problems just don’t seem to get it.

[Kuponut]

Imagine living with the fact that your "man the fuck up and deal with it. People have lived through wars" comment was the one that broke someone.

Yep and that particular ilk of comment REALLY REALLY winds me the fuck up. My grandfather was very decorated in WW2 - but he was wracked with PTSD from what he went through and devoted most of his life (he died last year) to supporting members of the armed forces in recent times suffering from combat stress - raising awareness, fundraising, helping to run support groups. Yes, he lived through the war - but he didn't come out the other side with his mental health intact and the "oh some people lived through wars and survived so shut up" type comments really belittles that kind of situation.

I'm just about keeping it together for the kids. The kids are struggling and we've had a few hugs on the sofa about how it's OK to feel sad and worried and miss normal life, and sometimes crying makes the bubbled up feelings get out a bit. My goal at the moment is to get the kids to the other side with THEIR mental health intact and I'll figure out the clean-up job on myself afterwards - I could really use upping the dose of my medication though, but don't want to bother the GP at all at present for obvious reasons.

[Xx12345]

Can I join this thread I am a mum to a baby and partner is a key shift worker , I’m so isolated I have post natal depression that I was starting to get on top off and now I just feel so anxious about the virus and not being able to see my family, house move is also cancelled. My baby is barely sleeping and that makes my mh so much worse. I honestly don’t know how I will cope with this , I have to be strong for my baby but all I am doing is crying.

[KnittingNurse]

Quite agree op, I really worry about all those who are isolated and without usual coping strategies. Take care all. 🌸

[Dinosauratemydaffodils]

I'm just about keeping it together for the kids.

That's what made me put the paracetamol back in the cupboard (before anyone accuses me of panic buying, I only have them because I was discharged from hospital following 2 x emcs with them) rather than washing them down with wine in the early hours of this morning.

I have ptsd, I need to be able to go out because of the trauma that caused my diagnosis, being trapped in the house is my worst nightmare. I'm terrified that the idiots looking for loop holes will mean a harder lockdown. I also have attachment issues from my own less than stellar childhood and am finding my kids rather hard to deal with 24/7 especially without being able to let them run around outside for hours. I'm scared stiff of becoming my mum and screwing them up the way I was. I'm drinking too much although haven't had a glass tonight. Because I'm "resilient" I don't currently have any mental health support even though I'm technically under the Adult Mental Health team. My psychiatrist is ex-military and has been re-deployed into "proper" medicine (direct quote from the person who phoned to let me know all appointments had been cancelled) and could I please humor him by not killing myself in the meantime.

The house is a mess and if I wasn't feeding others I wouldn't bother eating...we're only 24 hours in. I can't live like this for months.

[Bookrat]

There are some people on this thread who are clearly suffering a great deal. I hope you are able to find some relief through green space and exercise.

[TeaSoakedDisasterMagnet]

@Dinosauratemydaffodils

[CathyandHeathcliff]

I can completely understand where you are all coming from.
I suffer with very bad anxiety and depression. I have barely been keeping my head above water since having my son 17 months ago. I suffered PND.
I rely heavily on things like face to face peer support mental health groups, which I attend religiously and have a very positive impact on my well being.
I also love the routine of the playgroups and toddler groups I go to.

[CathyandHeathcliff]

I also don’t have a garden, so getting outdoors is really important for me and my 17 month old, I don’t feel it would be healthy for either of us, but particularly him, to have months of no fresh air..

The main thing I’m finding hard is that Counsellers and mental health professionals have always told me to ‘get out’ and ‘don’t isolate yourself’ so it’s very very hard to get out of that mindset that has been drilled into you for many years.

[dazzlinghaze]

I'm so glad you started this thread, OP. I completely understand why lockdown is necessary but I'm struggling so badly already and have been worrying myself sick about it for a few weeks now. And seeing so many comments about how we just need to get on with it isn't helping at all. I feel pathetic enough already.

I live alone and I manage my anxiety and depression by seeing my friends, family and boyfriend alongside taking my medication. I don't know what state I'll be in by the time this all passes. I feel so resentful to the people at home with their families telling us to get a grip. It's easy to say when you're not separated from your loved ones.

I work in the NHS which I really don't think is helping, I'm going to work and all anyone is talking about is coronavirus (understandably) then it's the same at home every time I turn on the TV or go on social media. I've lost count of the number of times I've had to hide in the toilet at work to sob.

Thinking of everyone else who is struggling

[Pericombobulations]

@StuckBetweenDarknessAndLight I was agoraphobic too, and as a now vulnerable person I have not left my house for over a week.

I have OCD, particularly a germ related one, seeing germs everywhere, and washing hands multiple times before they are clean. I spent years in counselling get that under control.

Now all the advice is that my phobia and OCD were right, I can see by the end of this I may never want to leave my house again, and I will be back to washing my hands 10 times to make a cup of tea.

[loobyloo1234]

Hope you are doing ok @givemeacall - please get up and out of bed today. It's so hard doing this all alone with no support network

I have found on my daily walks, people are kind and friendly - more so than normal. We are all in this together. Lets try to keep being kind. We will cross paths with at least one person on our daily exercise Im sure. Be sure to say hello to them. They may need that small tiny word that day

[Mrhodgeymaheg]

I agree. I have noticed people dismissing the need for mental health as frivolous in this climate when actually many people's lives depend on maintaining their mental health.

Agree that people just don't understand beyond themselves. We need to support the MH of children too. Many of them suffer with anxiety. It has bought out some very nasty and hysterical behaviour on MN, and there is some very strange oneupmanship going on when we should be supporting each other. Someone the other day said my pet should die because pet shops aren't essential. I wonder what they thought the effect of thousands of dead pets lying around would have on everyone's physical and mental health.

[Furrydog7]

I totally agree op. My mental health is going down the pan. I feel as though i have nothing to look forward to as it is highly likely that my holiday will be cancelled. To top it all a few months ago my granddad had to go into a care home as he has vascula dementia and now the home is on lock down. I understand it is necessary but i am missing him that much that not been able to see him is breaking my heart. Quite honestly i just want to cry. I know that he is been looked after but i am not sleeping right as i am constantly worrying about my granddad.

[BeijingBikini]

I read some ridiculous post earlier along the lines of "my daughter has some horrible illness and has had her treatment postponed, and she is manning up and getting over it, so if she can then everyone can".

Yes because if I can solve partial differential equations, everyone else should be able to as well.

[anotheronebitesthecrust]

I’m so bored of it. I have PTSD and having my movements/freedoms restricted or removed is a huge trigger. I have autism and need some form of outdoor activity (even a little walk is fine) to reduce my agitation and sensory overloads. I also have food issues (left over from eating disorders) which, combined with being autistic, makes it difficult to adapt/compromise on my diet. The added very real possibility of financial ruin/trying to find a job fairly urgently whilst in reality being unfit for work has given me very vivid, violent suicidal intrusive thoughts.
I gradually prepped my supplies rather than rushing out to buy them all at once and covid prevention hygiene practices have been my norm for years. So yes, I will go on my government-permitted walk. And yes, I might buy some “non-essential” chocolate or something when I infrequently go into a (near-empty) shop for basics (even though of course if you’re above the MN-approved BMI 17 you should shut yourself in your home and live off your fat reserves, you selfish tub of lard ).

[LittleRootie]

It is very hard and such a shame that some on MN are using this crisis as an excuse to take their anger out on vulnerable people but this thread is really welcome.

I have been out today with my elderly FIL that I live with. We drove to local woodland, the few people we came across were all very calm and stuck to the distancing rules - no one was abusive, no one shouted, no one told us to get back to our home.

Being outside walking or just sitting is as essential to me and many others as breathing. If I don't go out I will become extremely unwell and that won't help this crisis at all. As others have said, exercise (along with medication) saved my life and that is not exaggeration. Often, just going out, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other helped me to realise I could somehow go on. For another 5 minutes, for another hour, for another day. Sometimes that is the only way to get through.

It is essential to my FIL who has dementia and can become very distressed around crowds, especially with young dc as he interprets their playful screaming as genuine fear/pain . In a quiet outdoor place he is more himself again and it's wonderful to see him just enjoy listening to birds, breathing fresh air (we live by a main road) taking pleasure from nature.

All the people suffering here, whether you believe it at the moment or not, you are brave, your life is worthwhile, there will be a better time than this

[BeijingBikini]

That sounds really lovely @LittleRootie. I've been going out to the fields/stream at the edge of my town - it's so lovely and sunny, and all the blossom and birds and butterflies are out. You can just sit by the stream and listen to water flowing. Having that time in nature makes all the difference between a good day and an awful one.