CV shows that a lot of people really don’t understand mental illness

[FuckOffCorona]

I have seen so many sneering, condescending and ignorant posts from people who don’t believe or accept the reality of living with mental illness, and who are oblivious to the very serious dangers self isolation and / or lockdown can pose to those who suffer from mental ill health.

At least two threads have popped up in the last hour about exercising outdoors, with multiple posters expressing disingenuous shock at the idea that someone would need to exercise outside. But I am not exaggerating when I say that running has saved my life, because before I started using running as a form of meditation and physical therapy, I tried to kill myself twice.

The government recognised the importance of exercise. They have specifically allowed it to take place. So why do posters on here feel like they have the right to be so supercilious about those who will be exercising outside?

I have seen similar cruelty directed towards posters concerned about the effect isolation will have on their depression or anxiety. Those people don’t have the luxury of seeing friends, but any attempt to express this concern is met by a deluge of posters calling them selfish for feeling worried, even when they have no intention of breaking the rules.

This pandemic has brought out the very worst of mumsnet, and I have been so disappointed in the tenor of this site. But even so, is it too much to ask that people at least attempt to understand that for some people, mental illness is as much of a threat to life as the virus itself, and a little compassion would go a long way?

[TabbyMumz]

Have you considered that some of the people you are talking about ( the non decent people) might also be struggling with mental health?

[Floatyboat]

I think part of the problem is people use the term "mental health" as if it's some great homogenous mass. Nobody says lockdown is bad for their "physical health"; they're more specific. A sore tummy is not the same as stomach cancer and "feeling stressed" is not the same as schizophrenia. And because "feeling stressed" is the more common problem that's what comes to peoples minds when they hear "mental health".

[FuckOffCorona]

I’m so, so sorry to hear of people’s struggles. These are all very real and valid feelings, and it’s absolutely ok if you’re finding that isolation is the worst and scariest part of this whole situation.

You are all in my thoughts today

[AtAt123]

I'm bipolar and stable without drugs. It's been HARD. I have been in immunosuppression drugs so need to be mega careful. My sister is my support and as she has two sons with additional needs I am her support. We have been very careful for the last three weeks. All for of our Kids removed from school 3 weeks ago. My husband took leave and is now furloughed.

We haven't seen anybody outside of our family groups ( me, hubby and my kids and her and get kids). We are basically self isolating together but over two houses. I drive the 2miles to hers or she drives to me once a day so our kids can play and she gets a break. She suffered horrendous pnd and her boys have lots of issues and are very high maintenance. We get food delivered to my house and divide it. People would say that we are breaking lock down rules but it's 100% essential to both our mental health. We haven't seen anybody else in weeks but we are doing OK as we have each other.

My heart breaks for people without support at a time like this. I hope you all stay safe

[LaLaLandIsNoFun]

When it comes to mental illness people are utter twats a bout it. It really is the last disability where it is perfectly acceptable to mock ridicule and discriminate against. I've seen some shocking comments online today calling for those with MH issues to be killed, so as not to allow another incident as tragically happened in Bolton last Mother's Day. I myself have experienced shocking ill treatment and discrimination from children's social service and a complete lack of understanding of MH.

[Leighhalfpennysthigh]

Can I join you? I'm probably in a better position than a lot of people - got a nice comfortable home and garden and financially ok. However, I've got a terminally ill mother in law who has had the latest round of her chemo cancelled - the one that was giving us hope that she was gong to last a bit longer. An elderly father who is having mental health issues himself because he was in hiding as a child during WWII and a partner who lives 200 miles from me and who I don't know when I'll get to see him. I'm missing him terribly and feeling anxious about the future of our relationship.
I'm trying to work and keep my business going through this.
I can't sleep, my asthma is horrendous and every time I cough I wonder if this is it and the day I get the virus, thus passing it on to the frail elderly people.
Frankly if I have to read another post that starts "at least you haven't got it as bad as....." I'm going to cry.

[Kuponut]

It shows just how much the mental health awareness that's been trumpeted everywhere was just lip service and virtue signalling though.

I'm feeling a bit calmer now my uni tutor's gone through revised assessment plans - if I can get the exam elements deferred to take the pressure off I should be able to remain functional with the rest of the stuff right now. Forcing myself to sit and work in the conservatory to get some sunlight and warmth today in the hope it'll lift mood and calm me down - I can't even get calm enough to do my Headspace which is usually what helps me regulate somewhat.

[MarginalGain]

Thanks OP for starting this thread.

I'm crying several times a day because I can't wrap my head around our new normal and I very much fear that the exit goalposts are going to move around considerably.

I miss my friends terribly. I have a great husband and kids and I am so lucky for this, but we're all squabbling intermittently throughout the day.

I miss my routine, I miss everything.

[ViveLEntenteCordiale]

Thanks for the support loobyloo, and sorry OP as I appear to have killed your thread

Loobyloo I spoke to the pain clinic last week and they've agreed to up my meds as I'm not getting other treatment. I have a few changes I can make to see what works. It's always a fine line between being awake or being in less pain! I wasn't really expecting a crisis situation though so will probably have to call again for further additions. I know an osteopath would sort me out in a couple of sessions but they've been told not to work. Just makes me feel like I'm worthless and at the bottom of the heap for treatment.

I think I'm going to call my psychiatrist too to increase my ADs and ask for something to help me sleep.

Sorry if I'm not quite in the right place. MH is part of my problem, it's just affecting me in a different way to others. Am trying to support a friend too who is really panicky and afraid to go out because people won't bloody keep their distance.

[loobyloo1234]

Sorry to hear that @ViveLEntenteCordiale

Are you able to get the medication you need to help with your pain issues?

I saw the NY mayor do his press conference earlier. He talked in some detail about mental health support being offered there. He gave numbers and explained there were people that were on the end of the phone. Our Government really need to start doing similar. At least give some details of MH support services in this time of uncertainty

[ViveLEntenteCordiale]

Thank you for starting this thread.

My mental health is very much tied to my physical health, and my physical health is currently poor. It's getting worse and I hit crisis point last night with pain issues because for various reasons I've had no treatment for 6 weeks. There is no help available. I find it very hard knowing that no one cares how much pain I'm in, and that I'll just have to put up with it for however many months the Coronavirus crisis goes on. I know it's terrible and people are dying but I don't know how I will get through the days.

[MadamePewter]

@Koponut speak to your gp! I rang mine this morning and they were lovely, prescribed what I’d asked for and told me to ring any time if I felt worse. So nice.

I think the fact the announced the lockdown so suddenly freaked me as I had no time to get my head round it or plan so total panic set in.

As an aside, my dog is excellent at enforcing social distancing as she barks madly at other dogs, terrifying anyone into observing wrll more than the prescribed distance 😂

[MadamePewter]

@FuckOffCorona I wholeheartedly agree with you and very well put.

I agree that the tenor of the site has been pretty vile. I was hoping oriole would come together over this but quite the opposite.

I too use exercise, getting outside and keeping myself busy as strategies to keep myself mentally well. Being trapped at home without those resources or another adult is very difficult. Forced Isolation is an unnatural state for humans. And people blithely saying, oh, it’s not for long! And stuff like that gets right on my tits.

The hierarchy of physical as against mental health is very clear despite all the campaigns and stupid Facebook shares.

Before anyone yells at me, I am not saying I’m special, nor flouting rules 😉

[Kuponut]

I don't really dare go out for fear of coming across some self-appointed distancing-police vigilante the likes of which are all over the internet at the moment - our local FB pages are full of name and shame "I saw a mum with two kids walking a dog - the dog wasn't socially distancing" type twaddle and I really just can't face dealing with that.

It's annoying as before the lockdown announcement we went out as a family at like 7am to the woodland near us (and yes, we drove by car to get there) and walked the dog, let the kids run in the woods and it was like "yep I might be able to do this".

Still waiting to hear if I can defer my uni exams when I can then relax a bit and concentrate on the present and not have to try to revise amid it all - university are NOT being helpful.

[BeijingBikini]

That sounds really lovely @LittleRootie. I've been going out to the fields/stream at the edge of my town - it's so lovely and sunny, and all the blossom and birds and butterflies are out. You can just sit by the stream and listen to water flowing. Having that time in nature makes all the difference between a good day and an awful one.

[LittleRootie]

It is very hard and such a shame that some on MN are using this crisis as an excuse to take their anger out on vulnerable people but this thread is really welcome.

I have been out today with my elderly FIL that I live with. We drove to local woodland, the few people we came across were all very calm and stuck to the distancing rules - no one was abusive, no one shouted, no one told us to get back to our home.

Being outside walking or just sitting is as essential to me and many others as breathing. If I don't go out I will become extremely unwell and that won't help this crisis at all. As others have said, exercise (along with medication) saved my life and that is not exaggeration. Often, just going out, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other helped me to realise I could somehow go on. For another 5 minutes, for another hour, for another day. Sometimes that is the only way to get through.

It is essential to my FIL who has dementia and can become very distressed around crowds, especially with young dc as he interprets their playful screaming as genuine fear/pain . In a quiet outdoor place he is more himself again and it's wonderful to see him just enjoy listening to birds, breathing fresh air (we live by a main road) taking pleasure from nature.

All the people suffering here, whether you believe it at the moment or not, you are brave, your life is worthwhile, there will be a better time than this

[anotheronebitesthecrust]

I’m so bored of it. I have PTSD and having my movements/freedoms restricted or removed is a huge trigger. I have autism and need some form of outdoor activity (even a little walk is fine) to reduce my agitation and sensory overloads. I also have food issues (left over from eating disorders) which, combined with being autistic, makes it difficult to adapt/compromise on my diet. The added very real possibility of financial ruin/trying to find a job fairly urgently whilst in reality being unfit for work has given me very vivid, violent suicidal intrusive thoughts.
I gradually prepped my supplies rather than rushing out to buy them all at once and covid prevention hygiene practices have been my norm for years. So yes, I will go on my government-permitted walk. And yes, I might buy some “non-essential” chocolate or something when I infrequently go into a (near-empty) shop for basics (even though of course if you’re above the MN-approved BMI 17 you should shut yourself in your home and live off your fat reserves, you selfish tub of lard ).

[BeijingBikini]

I read some ridiculous post earlier along the lines of "my daughter has some horrible illness and has had her treatment postponed, and she is manning up and getting over it, so if she can then everyone can".

Yes because if I can solve partial differential equations, everyone else should be able to as well.

[Furrydog7]

I totally agree op. My mental health is going down the pan. I feel as though i have nothing to look forward to as it is highly likely that my holiday will be cancelled. To top it all a few months ago my granddad had to go into a care home as he has vascula dementia and now the home is on lock down. I understand it is necessary but i am missing him that much that not been able to see him is breaking my heart. Quite honestly i just want to cry. I know that he is been looked after but i am not sleeping right as i am constantly worrying about my granddad.

[Mrhodgeymaheg]

I agree. I have noticed people dismissing the need for mental health as frivolous in this climate when actually many people's lives depend on maintaining their mental health.

Agree that people just don't understand beyond themselves. We need to support the MH of children too. Many of them suffer with anxiety. It has bought out some very nasty and hysterical behaviour on MN, and there is some very strange oneupmanship going on when we should be supporting each other. Someone the other day said my pet should die because pet shops aren't essential. I wonder what they thought the effect of thousands of dead pets lying around would have on everyone's physical and mental health.

[loobyloo1234]

Hope you are doing ok @givemeacall - please get up and out of bed today. It's so hard doing this all alone with no support network

I have found on my daily walks, people are kind and friendly - more so than normal. We are all in this together. Lets try to keep being kind. We will cross paths with at least one person on our daily exercise Im sure. Be sure to say hello to them. They may need that small tiny word that day

[Pericombobulations]

@StuckBetweenDarknessAndLight I was agoraphobic too, and as a now vulnerable person I have not left my house for over a week.

I have OCD, particularly a germ related one, seeing germs everywhere, and washing hands multiple times before they are clean. I spent years in counselling get that under control.

Now all the advice is that my phobia and OCD were right, I can see by the end of this I may never want to leave my house again, and I will be back to washing my hands 10 times to make a cup of tea.

[dazzlinghaze]

I'm so glad you started this thread, OP. I completely understand why lockdown is necessary but I'm struggling so badly already and have been worrying myself sick about it for a few weeks now. And seeing so many comments about how we just need to get on with it isn't helping at all. I feel pathetic enough already.

I live alone and I manage my anxiety and depression by seeing my friends, family and boyfriend alongside taking my medication. I don't know what state I'll be in by the time this all passes. I feel so resentful to the people at home with their families telling us to get a grip. It's easy to say when you're not separated from your loved ones.

I work in the NHS which I really don't think is helping, I'm going to work and all anyone is talking about is coronavirus (understandably) then it's the same at home every time I turn on the TV or go on social media. I've lost count of the number of times I've had to hide in the toilet at work to sob.

Thinking of everyone else who is struggling

[CathyandHeathcliff]

I also don’t have a garden, so getting outdoors is really important for me and my 17 month old, I don’t feel it would be healthy for either of us, but particularly him, to have months of no fresh air..

The main thing I’m finding hard is that Counsellers and mental health professionals have always told me to ‘get out’ and ‘don’t isolate yourself’ so it’s very very hard to get out of that mindset that has been drilled into you for many years.