CV shows that a lot of people really don’t understand mental illness

[FuckOffCorona]

I have seen so many sneering, condescending and ignorant posts from people who don’t believe or accept the reality of living with mental illness, and who are oblivious to the very serious dangers self isolation and / or lockdown can pose to those who suffer from mental ill health.

At least two threads have popped up in the last hour about exercising outdoors, with multiple posters expressing disingenuous shock at the idea that someone would need to exercise outside. But I am not exaggerating when I say that running has saved my life, because before I started using running as a form of meditation and physical therapy, I tried to kill myself twice.

The government recognised the importance of exercise. They have specifically allowed it to take place. So why do posters on here feel like they have the right to be so supercilious about those who will be exercising outside?

I have seen similar cruelty directed towards posters concerned about the effect isolation will have on their depression or anxiety. Those people don’t have the luxury of seeing friends, but any attempt to express this concern is met by a deluge of posters calling them selfish for feeling worried, even when they have no intention of breaking the rules.

This pandemic has brought out the very worst of mumsnet, and I have been so disappointed in the tenor of this site. But even so, is it too much to ask that people at least attempt to understand that for some people, mental illness is as much of a threat to life as the virus itself, and a little compassion would go a long way?

[user1471453601]

I'm so very sorry that some of you with mental health issues feel unsupported. I realise that some posters believe that their reality is the only one that exists, but it's not like that for all of us.

I've been very lucky with my mental health (though I could wish that my physical health has followed suite) but for a number of reasons I have a vague understanding of mental health issues.

I would never deny someone else's reality. If that's what you feel, well, there is no arguing with that, is there? So if running etc is keeping you well, you know what to do, don't you?

Good luck, keep safe, keep 2 meters apart

[BubblyBarbara]

I saw someone joke earlier that they should put Valium or Xanax into the drinking water supply.. maybe they should!

[Teaandtoastforbreakfast29]

I've noticed a massive upsurge in stress and anxiety levels in those closest to me, for various reasons. I've been on the verge of having s panic attack for the last few weeks and it's not disappearing. I've had a rubbish day, we've all been in tears (my kids are tiny). I'm already struggling. Normally, I have the attitude of getting up and getting on with it as I try to look at the small positives but it's such an effort at the moment.

I worry about the long term impact this is going to have on mental health for a lot of people as a long term thing.

[bathorshower]

I've read that following the mad cow disease panic, far more farmers took their own lives than there were victims of CJD. I'm not sure we've learnt the lessons of that.

[Jourdain11]

The mad cow thing was horrific. I remember watching a documentary about that quite recently...

[QueenOfCatan]

Totally agree with you, I struggle being indoors a lot, I started working outdoors in January and my mental health has never been better, I'm really worried about what the coming weeks will do to it tbh.

[AgentCooper]

I feel this too. Mat leave in 2017 was catastrophic for my mental health and I’ve long struggled with anxiety. I’d never been depressed until then. Last week I had a total meltdown at the thought of not being able to get out to work 3 days a week, see people, read on the bus, go to the gym at lunchtime. Oddly enough, this week I’m a bit calmer.

My DH works in financial services and things are mental there, plus it’s the tax year end. So he is wfh full time. I am still meant to do my 3 days from home but also all the childcare for 2 year old DS, who is full on. He doesn’t play alone for more than about 5 mins and if I as much as sit down he’s on me (still breastfeeding) and if I take my phone out to check emails he’s up beside me trying to tap the screen. So I don’t know what I’m going to do. My free time, my exercise, my reading, my socialising, my time alone are all gone. I do actually feel alright this week bar a few ugly cries but am going to deal with each day as it comes. I don’t know what a better alternative to lockdown would be but I am in total agreement that it has shown how little mental health is seen as valid and worthy of attention.

[Pishposhpashy]

I actually love being indoors but I am badly struggling with not being able to see my family.

[HowIrresponsible]

I got WTF looks when I said I feared isolation more than the virus.

[Andorra155]

This is the reality for some. Very sadly a young girl (19) in our village tried to take her own life last week due to mental health and the fear of isolation/being trapped in the house due to CV. Her life support was switched off a couple of days ago.

[MurrayTheMonk]

I thought I was doing alright. But it's hit me like a ton of bricks today for some reason. Feel so low.

[kittykat7210]

I could name a few people on here who obviously can’t get to grips with mental health as a reality. I’ve been called utterly disgusting today by a Mumsnet user for having terrible anxiety and panic attacks about being alone during birth and considering doing it at home to try and relieve the pressure on my mental health. I suffered from postnatal depression last time and will probably do so again except this time it will be worse because I won’t be able to have any family/health visitor support to help me through. Last time I was cutting and wanting to die, let’s hope I survive this time.

[BeijingBikini]

Oh I definitely fear isolation more than the virus.

I want to sign up to the NHS volunteer thing - at least I can do something useful rather than wave the mouse around pretending to "WFH", and get out and about with valid reason. If I catch it then I catch it.

[Choo975]

My MH has gone haywire and is getting worse daily. The stress is incredible. I feel like I am going to have a heart attack.

[Checkthemeaning]

I'm just marking my own place here too. My mental health was already on the floor due to my marriage breakdown and the prospect of being in isolation on my own (when I still desperately miss him) is a lot for my heart to bear.

Sending support to everyone

[FizzAfterSix]

I agree OP.
I’m on my own - usually see friends regularly but now on my own all the time. Enjoying the good weather and staying connected on the phone.
No family except an abusive brother so have distanced myself from him. I had to speak to him at the weekend and was left feeling life wasn’t worth living - took an overdose 7 years ago and it took me back.
Freeing ourselves from toxic people is vital.

[Applejaxx]

I got really upset today about the though of not seeing my family for potentially quite a long time, even though in normal circumstances I could go up to a fortnight possibly even longer not seeing them. I suppose you take for granted that they are just there and can see them whenever you like.

[FloconDeNeige]

I don’t think it’s that people are dismissive of the possible mental implications as such, it’s just that right now, people are dying in large numbers from something that has no treatment or cure and they are scared.

Make the most of your daily exercise outing and maybe try some of the free apps for workouts at home, e.g. 7min workout. Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube is great too and she has a 30 day programme to follow; maybe in the garden/balcony if you have one. I suffered from PND and found exercise a really helpful part of recovery too. It’s certainly still possible to achieve, even in isolation.

A French guy ran a marathon on his balcony last week!

[BrowniesAreSuper]

Hooooofft I'm with you all. I am in a pretty ok position now having recently been sprung from the "high risk" group health wise but before I read the "fine print" of the groups being shielded, I was absolutely dreading the prospect of having to stay at home for 12 weeks with a toddler and a baby. My lifeline for coping is keeping busy, getting out and seeing people and keeping my toddler entertained through groups and activities. I had undiagnosed PND after having my first and spent a lot of time on mat leave alone (with baby) in the house feeling utterly utterly awful. Those feelings of isolation and despair came flooding right back even considering having to isolate myself.
Thankfully things are now ok for me but I can totally see how this is going to cause a major mental health crisis. Huge hugs to all x

[Iwalkinmyclothing]

I imagine the more vituperative answers are coming from people whose own mental health is being impacted by the crisis. I know my patience is all but non existent right now and I'm much more likely to snap people's heads off than usual. It's because I'm tired and worried. My own bouts of serious depression almost always started with rage- it's a warning for me, if I am permanently irritable and impatient and catch myself having endless arguments about things I'd normally not give a shit about it's a sign my mood is dipping.

[eeeyoresmiles]

I think part of the problem is that some people say "oh I need that for my mental health" in the same way they might say "I'm a bit OCD" - ie they're not talking about real, serious mental health or ill health as the alternatives, just personality and habits. It makes it seem as though they're not taking the infection risk seriously. In fact, some people are saying it because they will be in danger of suicide if they don't, but it's not always obvious that's what they mean.

People shouldn't assume someone doesn't mean it seriously, you're right that that assumption is a sign that someone underestimates the effects of mental illness.

OCD is another tricky one although less dangerous - you can't exactly do exposure and response prevention with COVID-19. It's hard to practise habits to reduce anxiety in the face of a real danger.

[Theluggage15]

So sorry for the people struggling. I do feel sad when I see some people almost seem to be enjoying this crisis and rubbing their hands together at the thought of telling people off for violating the rules
.
I do think there are going to be many questions after this is over regarding how little concern was shown for people with mental health issues, the disabled and victims of domestic violence. There just seems no balance, the only thing that matters is the virus.

My best wishes to everyone struggling.

[spirdygirdy]

I've had periods where I've been on the brink of depression but control, routine and sticking to the one thing I'm good at (my job) usually helps prevent it from escalating to the levels when I was a teenager. I'm really struggling. In NHS but facing redeployment any day to be forced to do things I don't want to do, see or are any good at. I feel sick with stomach cramps, heart racing, brink of tears and feel like doing something awful just to avoid it. I scared of what will happen to me and my family. I can't even talk to my family. I feel like I'm walking through treacle and can't function. I know everyone will think I'm a coward if I don't work.

[Kuponut]

My MH was really on the up - I'd gone back to university and was doing brilliantly at the course, and then this all hit and it's just collapsed totally. The idea of having to sit online exams in this house with my kids in the room is just driving my anxiety crazy and the most horrendous panic attacks are coming in waves and waves.

Have applied to defer my exams - but the university are now saying the resit/deferral sitting will be cancelled so I think they might deny my request. No idea what I'll do then.

The whole atmosphere online has become so toxic with people desperately trying to "shame" anyone they view as not doing lockdown "right" by the version of the rules they've made up. The kids are desperately missing their friends, school and routine and really struggling too - and the insta-perfect homeschooling parents are piling the pressure on as well.

[SimplySteveRedux]

I'm out of juice mentally to reply properly, great thread OP, one of the best I've read this year.