How much do you spend on children that aren't your own?

[BeccaBloomwood]

We do a secret santa for the adult family members which takes a lot of the financial stress away, but we still have a lot of children to buy for.

Excluding our own children, we have 13 children to buy for including nieces and nephews.

I was going to suggest to family friends the possibility of just exchanging a chocolate santa or little sweet treat this year, however they got in touch with us first to ask for suggestions and I suppose I was too embarassed to suggest the above in case they thought I was cheap

Is £10 for a gift for a family friend's child too cheap? Last year we received lovely gifts from them which seemed rubbish compared to what we got them, but we are trying quite hard to save money for an upcoming expense in the New Year so my budget isn't great.

How much would you spend on nieces and nephews? I was thinking £20? We also have 3 birthdays coming up before Christmas and 1 in early January so that doesn't help 😂

Finally, would you appreciate a £10 giftcard in lieue of a present? I don't want to pick something that will never be used and thought a giftcard might be a better option as the parents can chose something they will use or put it towards a bigger present? I was thinking Waterstones vouchers because who doesn't love books?!?

Thanks 😊

[UndertheCedartree]

We have 4 nieces and 6 nephews to buy for. We don't buy for any friend's DC.

We don't necessarily spend the same on them all we just make sure to get them something they will like. Our 1 yo nephew who lives abroad is having a book and our 6 yo nephew is having hand me down lego with a book and selection box. 2 of our neices I spent only £10 on - one has arts and crafts bits from Baker Ross and Wilko and the other has makeup, brushes and a compact mirror from Primark. Baby nephew is getting a night light bear I think it was £25 - he's getting more spent on him than any of the others this year!

[Elfieishere]

@UndertheCedartree

We have 4 nieces and 6 nephews to buy for. We don't buy for any friend's DC.

We don't necessarily spend the same on them all we just make sure to get them something they will like. Our 1 yo nephew who lives abroad is having a book and our 6 yo nephew is having hand me down lego with a book and selection box. 2 of our neices I spent only £10 on - one has arts and crafts bits from Baker Ross and Wilko and the other has makeup, brushes and a compact mirror from Primark. Baby nephew is getting a night light bear I think it was £25 - he's getting more spent on him than any of the others this year!

Your giving your nephew second hand lego? I couldn’t image my brother giving my daughter a hand me down and passing it off as a Christmas present

[UndertheCedartree]

@Elfieishere - we often do this as he is a little younger than my DD. I don't pretend it's not a hand me down but his parents would rather get hand me downs than me buy for the sake of it! We gave him about 20 little cars for his birthday - he was thrilled! The Lego he is getting for Christmas has actually never been opened. It is worth about £30 and I've got him a selection box and book too. I think it's much better to hand things down than just buy for the sake of it And he gets a bigger present than he would have had otherwise!

[CuppaZa]

£30 for nieces and nephews. £20 for friends kids

[UndertheCedartree]

@Elfieishere - my DD had some hand me down toys for her birthday - she loved it - all the little packages. It's what people often do when they are poor!

[Elfieishere]

If it’s a hand me down though it’s not an actual gift, it’s just something you are passing on.

You didn’t buy it for him, it’s just something you haven’t ended up using yourself for whatever reason.
If you don’t need it then just give it to him on a normal day instead of saving your kids old toys to hand out as a gift.

I’d be mortified to try and pass of my kids old toys as a present.

[Elfieishere]

I think it's much better to hand things down than just buy for the sake of it

I agree with this part, which is why I pass down all my kids things to family and friends to get used again. I don’t pretend to pass it off as presents though.

[katy1213]

I'd opt out completely. Kids get swamped with presents; they really don't need more just for the sake of it.
I only buy for people I genuinely care about and other people's children don't make the cut!

[Peppafrig]

£50 on nieces and nephews. £20-£30 on my friends kids. My kids get £20 each to spend on their friends.

[Fifthtimelucky]

I have 11 nephews and nieces and years ago my sisters and I agreed to limit presents to £10 each and to stop when they were 18.

We didn't officially build in any increase for inflation but there are only two left now under 18 so I sometimes go up to £15 for the right present.

I did the same for the 8 children of 3 friends. Only two of them left under 18 now too.

All four children that I still buy for (other than my own) are teenage boys. I find them very difficult to buy for so will be glad when it's all over!

[MaudHatter]

We stopped buying nieces and nephews a few years ago . We do buy them lovely birthday presents . I dislike buying presents for the sake of it and they already get enough

[multivac]

Why does a 'present' need to have a price tag? What's all this 'passing off' stuff? What's wrong with a hand down gift?

[Limpshade]

I have six nephews and nieces, and spend £15-20 each on them.

[MotherExtraordinaire]

As a rule, I spend £20 on nieces and nephews.

For friends children and I will spend less than a fiver. This year I spent the grand total of £3.50 on them as always try to buy in sales and offers.

[Oysterbabe]

I think that's fine. I spend around £15 on friends children.

[firstimemamma]

£4-7 for ds' friends at Christmas and £10-15 for a birthday. They are toddlers.

Ds' cousins £20 at Christmas and £20-30 for a birthday.

At Christmas there are 15 children other than ds to buy for. We spend what we can afford but to us it's the free stuff / memories that mean the most.

[Marmite27]

We had this, and some of our social circle were in financial straits. I suggested that we stop doing gift for kids. If they still wanted to they could use the money they would have spent on my kids to buy them something from ‘us’.

I do this, so this year from ‘friends’ they have a beanie boo dragon (£5), a playdoh kit (£7), some tube bath toy (£8.50) an experiment kit (£5), a themed colouring/stationary bundle (£5), nature adventure cards (£8.50), and two picture books (£7).

I’d have budgeted £10 per child/gift so it’s cost me £46 rather than £70. Plus I know the kids are getting appropriate gifts. Wildly age inappropriate gifts had become the norm, probably due to regifting first financial reasons. To be clear I have no issue with regifting, I’d rather that than landfill, it was the financial pressure I wanted to address.

[Marmite27]

I still buy for nieces and nephews. We’ve settled on a £20 budget pp and £10 for ‘friends’ gifts. If I can get something decent/discounted for less I don’t spend more!

[CoffeeChocolateWine]

I have an agreement with my family that we spend £5-6 per child as there are 9 of them (all but one are girls) and it really adds up. I quite like the challenge of finding something decent for such a small budget! We often get books and this year I’ve bought a few Ravel Tales for girls between 5 and 8. Craft sets from Hobbycraft. Books/games from the works. Stuff from Claires etc.

[CoffeeChocolateWine]

I don’t buy for friends’ children.

[Elfieishere]

@multivac

Why does a 'present' need to have a price tag? What's all this 'passing off' stuff? What's wrong with a hand down gift?

I didn’t say it had to have a price tag. It could be home made.

It’s not a gift, it’s just a hand me down. You didn’t buy it with the recipient in mind. It’s just something you found in your house and thought ‘oh X would like this and I no longer need it’ so you are passing it on.

I can’t go up in my daughters room and go through her toys and then give them to a friends kid and pass it off as a xmas present.

[CountFosco]

We don't buy gifts for friend's children. In the family we have 10 children to buy for. I spent £10 to £30 on them, depending how close they are and what the arrangements with the parents are.

[Bikingbear]

It’s not a gift, it’s just a hand me down. You didn’t buy it with the recipient in mind.

I'd agree with that. The vast majority of people pass good condition toys on to other people, charity shops or sell them.

Passing things on isn't a gift in my eyes, I don't even do it with my own kids, yet loads on here think nothing of regifting baby toys from one sibling to the next.

Thousands of Children will receive second hand toys at Christmas. But I'd hope that they are choosen and given with a bit more thought than, "I found this in the cupboard it I'll wrap it up for DNephew" esp regardless of age appropriate, or the childs interests, that's mean if you can afford not too.

[UndertheCedartree]

@Elfieishere - I already said I don't 'pass it off' as something I bought. However it means the recipient has something nice to open on Christmas day/Birthday. Young DC aren't bothered about having hand me downs. I think it is you that has the problem. You'd be mortified?! I'd be more mortified to turn up empty handed. And I guess when you are poor you get used to maybe being mortified for not having much money but why should you be? I really appreciate the care and thought that goes into putting aside, maybe cleaning toys, making sets of them and packaging them that my friend does. I've barely seen my nephew this year due to Covid/distance. I do pass on clothes etc as my DC outgrow but a brand new box of Lego when he has just started to get into Lego and his parents have said it will be a great present but they don't have the space for me to give him a massive box of Lego plus another toy bought for the sake of it - I'll let hom have the fun of unwrapping it for Christmas!

[UndertheCedartree]

@Bikingbear - I'm on a very low income so I couldn't afford to get him anything like the brand new box of Lego I have for him. I have chosen to give it to him as he has just got into Lego. I have also bought a specific book for him. His parents are very enviromentally conscious and would much rather a second hand present. He will get a much bigger present than I can afford otherwise. I don't think I should be ashamed of giving my DN a lovely present albeit second hand as that is all I can afford.