My 12yo will be home alone Christmas Eve. Any ideas?

[HappyHollyween]

For the first time ever (I know - I've been very lucky so far!) i have to work Christmas Eve. I'm also working the 23rd but DD's friend's mum has offered to take DD and friend shopping that day.

DD has always said she loves Christmas Eve more than Christmas Day as it's just us two, it's really relaxed and there is the excitement of 'just one more sleep!' We usually do some wrapping, karaoke, film and snack fest, walk with a scavenger hunt (still loves these at her age!) or a drive into town to look at the lights. She's quite disappointed this year that she'll be on her own.

She'll likely not get out of bed until 10am at the earliest and I will be home around 4.30pm. I was hoping to leave her a list of ideas she can crack on with to still enjoy the day without me.

E.g. I can leave her a Christmas Eve box - she can have a nice bath with smellies.

I can leave her some Christmas films to watch.

She can wrap the presents she bought the day before with her friend.

She can build a gingerbread house.

Any other ideas that your tweens like doing around Christmas? These all sound like things she'll probably get bored of doing on her own and will likely just sit on her phone all day! I want her to enjoy Christmas Eve just as much as she normally does and hopefully the day will go by quickly for her until I'm home.

[Agedtoperfection]

Not sure why people need to be sanctimonious about the op dd being left alone
My ds liked staying in himself at that age. Good job really as we weren’t knee deep in other options like some of the posters on here must be .
Op you’ve had some really good suggestions here . I’m sure you’ll get something nice arranged.

[CoolShoeshine]

I like the idea of leaving her a nice bath bomb so that she can have a soak and the gingerbread house for something to do. I’d also get a nice pre-packed sandwich from the supermarket the day before such as a turkey and stuffing one and leave her a mini pot of pringles. Other than that I’d leave her to do her own thing. There’s always good tv on Christmas Eve and it’s actually nice being on your own for a bit so that you can watch what you want.
As she’s housebound during the day how about taking her out for a treat in the evening of her choice - meal, panto, cinema and soak in the Christmas atmosphere. No point trying to make it exactly like your usual Christmas Eve as it won’t be so try something different.

[MinisterforCheekyFuckery]

OP, I really wouldn't worry about planning loads of activities for her. Let her have a lie in then laze around in her PJ's watching movies and messaging her friends. Make sure the fridge is stocked with nice food that doesn't require a lot of preparation, some chocolate, maybe some popcorn. If you're home by 4.30 that means you'll still have hours together to do fun christmassy things so she won't be missing out. Don't overthink it.

[Ninkaninus]

No not really. It doesn’t have to be a lot of work or hassle - any number of small and easy suggestions have been made. The important thing is showing that whilst it might be disappointing for her now, when she’s just discovered this, it can still be made fun and Christmassy and a lovely, cosy day.

I don’t advocate being horrible to children and disregarding their preferences entirely when those preferences are age-appropriate, perfectly fine and reasonable and not actually an issue to meet. Since DD doesn’t like going to childminder but does like being at home, it would be very unkind for her mother to not listen to that and make her go, when she’s perfectly capable of looking after herself at home and it would cost the OP money. That’s not equivalent by any means.

[user1573334]

This business of trying to engineer it so one’s children never ever have to deal with any chance of being a bit lonely/bored/upset/feeling any emotion that isn’t 100% positive, actually hinders them from learning resilience

Ironic, because that is exactly what this thread is full of. Suggestions of laying out a fancy breakfast, creating a scavenger hunt all over the house, leaving out an all day pamper package... It is a lot of work for the OP to implement before a full day's work because the child simply doesn't want to be bored at a childminder for a few hours.

[MilkTrayLimeBarrel]

Gavisconismyfriend - wow - just looked at the Paperchase advent calendar - it's just my sort of thing! Have ordered one with a £6 discount. Thanks for mentioning it!

[gavisconismyfriend]

How about hiding away one of the speciality advent calendars - make up/beauty treats if she’s at that stage, stationery one if not? 24 gifts in total, so you could set an alarm to go at 20 min intervals through the day and she can open a new treat each time. If it’s makeup she could spend time between looking up YouTube and practising, if it is stationery then she can be creative with each item. Paperchase have one out just now - I’d love to spend a day savouring each new stationery item! Or you could create your own full of a range of items you know she’d enjoy - hot choc sachet, bath bomb etc....

[PoohBearsHole]

So in my house the day for dad would go like this:

10am crawl out of bed
10.05 breakfast (can you leave croissants/pastries) cereal fruit etc
10.15 in front of tv with phone messaging friends
4.45 - oh mum your home?

This would be her perfect day as I wouldn’t be nagging to get off the phone 😂

[Lazysundays18]

I love the gingerbread house idea. Tell her you'll take it to family house on Christmas Day so it's a nice challenge for her. Might make her take lots of time over the decorations. You can be all surprised and heap praise on her when you get home then do your usual Christmas Eve stuff!

[ysmaem]

Can she stop over with a relative while you're at work?
You'll be home at 4.30pm, you'll have the whole evening, maybe make some exciting plans together so you both have something to look forward too. You could always get her some arts and crafts to do? Movies and snacks? Make a playlist of her favourite Christmas music for her to listen too. Get her some ingredients for her to make some cakes and cookies?

[itsgettingweird]

Could you make a scavenger hunt of clues and maybe picture cut up to out together with a clue of what you'll do when you get home.

Then is it possible to book a cinema trip or panto for the evening?

Hopefully when she's found all the pieces she can have a nice bath etc and get ready to go out?

[Ninkaninus]

OP make sure to glue the gingerbread house together the night before. It’s better to have to four hands to help with that one, plus it gives the icing time to dry and harden properly.

[AlexaAmbidextra]

Not helpful but, If it’s was me, if I couldn’t take A/L, I would probably phone in sick to work.

SpookyDot. What a fucking crap thing to do. To let down your colleagues who presumably would rather not be at work either but who are too moral and responsible to even contemplate doing the same. Sickening behaviour.

[Ninkaninus]

Sorry that came out a little more forcefully than I meant it to.

But seriously, there’s no need to feel sorry for the girl. For all we know she’ll really enjoy having this special day with lots of things thought up by her mum to fill the time.

[Ninkaninus]

Why do people always have to come along and guilt trip about something that’s perfectly fine? I appreciate that you weren’t trying to be goady, but I think it’s a bit rich to be so earnest about it. You feel sorry for her? Why? Because she’ll be able to have a lie in, potter about doing Christmassy things and feel like a grown up older child rather than a toddler that has to go see a childminder? It’s a few hours and there will be plenty of time to do Christmassy stuff with mum in the evening.

Even if she’s not jumping up and down with glee at the thought of it, it’s the reality of life, and there are ways to make the best of it and turn it into a fun time.

This business of trying to engineer it so one’s children never ever have to deal with any chance of being a bit lonely/bored/upset/feeling any emotion that isn’t 100% positive, actually hinders them from learning resilience.

[TheGonnagle]

Sarah Raven has a fantastic gingerbread house recipe in her Christmas book. The dough makes a house plus decorations. If you download a house template omline you could make the dough and bake the pieces in the couple of days before together. Then she can build it using vast quantities of royal icing as glue and decorate it before you get home. I do it every year with dd and the building and decorating session is always about three hours!

[Bcnamechanger]

Just an idea but could you get her to curate your Christmas music playlists? It takes hours if you start from scratch and do one for each of Eve, Xmas and St Stephens. Or challenges where you have to find the Xmas no 1s for the last X years.

Love the suggestion of leaving wee packages to form an hourly to do list.

[HappyHollyween]

@animated1 I'm not sure what else I could do. Can you share your ideas? It's very easy to say you don't like or that you disagree with something. Not so easy to come up with an alternative option. As a single mum with no family or friends around for DD to go to, and your DD who absolutely hates childcare, how do you manage to get to work? Do you pack in your career until your child is, what, 16? I'm a lowish earner in the NHS who cannot afford any childcare on my wage (outside of the registered ones which DD hates) and cannot take on someone like an au pair. Other than quitting and staying at home with DD until she's an adult herself, what can I do?

Wouldn't you feel more sorry for my daughter if she was miserable at childcare on Xmas Eve for 8 hours with a bunch of under 8yos being made to play games that are far too young for her and look after the toddlers (which is what started to happen as soon as she turned 10)?

[clary]

Op some great ideas on here.

tbh, she should be ok (SN aside) to use the oven at 12yo. At each her in the meantime and she can make cookies etc.

Posters saying they wouldn't leave 12/13 yo home for a day...I assume you don't work, or work in a school - and even then what do you do on inset.

Honestly a 13yo is fine to be alone for the day, what do you think they will do? And when will it be ok?

[Disfordarkchocolate]

I work from home and some days I would barely see my teen in the school holidays. Rest, tv, food. He is fine.

[Willow2017]

AnnieMated
Why MUST there be something else op.can.arrange? She has explained that there isn't. Not everyone lives in big towns where there are buses every 10 minutes or things to do.

It's during the day, how many people irl get to.spend the whole day with their 12yr old?
If you don't trust your 13yr old alone in her own house why not?
She would probably love it. Mine would hardly notice I wasn't there they would be doing their own thing all day. (And sleeping most of
the Morning!)

Ignore all the guilt tripping OP your dd will love having the day to.herself.

[ColdTattyWaitingForSummer]

@AnnieMated1 but the OP has specifically said her daughter prefers this. I totally respect that you feel it wouldn’t be right for your dc, but they’re all different, and I don’t see the need to feel sorry for her. (Also I think one 12 year old is different to an 11 plus a 13 year old, who are likely to squabble or wind each other up!)

[notso]

I'm going to ignore the judgement, yes. It's something I get from my mother too.
Can't she come and stay with her then!

[redrobin123]

What about doing a mini Christmas Eve countdown calendar with something in it each of the hours you're away for her to do?

Like others have said have a lovely breakfast together then you could wrap up 6 little packages one for her to open each hour you're away with something for her to do inside?

E.g first package could be ingredients for gingerbread men. Second could be scavenger hunt, 3rd could be a Christmas film, 4th decorate a Christmas themed money box from hobbycraft and the final one could be make the home as Christmassy as possible before you get home, have a bath with a lush bathbomb put on Christmas pyjamas, light candles, turn all the Christmas lights on etc

Xxx

[AnnieMated1]

Totally not meaning to be goady..I have an 11 and 13 year old and wouldn't leave the oldest one for more than 2-3 hours tops. And on Christmas Eve?! Never. I just feel sorry for the OP's daughter - I work as well, so I get the whole juggling thing, trust me - but there MUST be something you can arrange for her?!