Probability of stitches 2nd time round?

[skiingmummy]

I've 13 wks to go before no 2 arrives and am starting to seriously stress about the prospect of having stitches again. The experience of being stitched after no 1 was far worse than the entire experience of labour (induction with gas and air for pain relief). Even with local anaesthetic and gas and air I felt every single stitch going in and as it took 3 threads and over 1/2 hour (the longest of my life) to put me back together this was not an experience I'm looking forward to repeating.

Just wondered what experiences other Mums have with no 2. Am I likely to tear badly again or do you tend to find everythings a bit more stretched and pliable 2nd time round?? Any comments and good or bad experiences gratefully received!! I just feel that if I know what to expect I'll be better equiped to deal with it!! I hope!! Thanks!

[Socci]

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[midden]

I was much more anxious about the birth of my second, I knew what birth was like and although I had a positive first experience I still worried about things going wrong. In the end No 2 was born in 2 hours, ate my tea at 7pm, labour began just afterwards midwife arrived at 8pm, dd born at 9pm and tucked up in bed with dd and dh just before 10pm.

If you can avoid induction this time that might help too.

Hope it all goes well, keep talking and releasing your fears.

x

[skiingmummy]

Yet more excellent ideas! Thankyou thankyou thankyou!! I feel totally dipsy this pregnancy time round - unable to think of simple logical actions like putting stuff in birth plans or asking the midwife at antenatal appointments. I wasn't quite as dipsy with no 1 so wonder if this means I must be having a girl this time?!?

Well - time for bed I think - the baby has just started its nightime party in my tum, my indigestion is just kicking in and the screen is going into soft focus as my eyes glaze over!!

Thanks for all your posts and advice so far - I'll check again tomorrow to see if there are any new messages but I'm really pleased to have joined the MN community this evening and I think the next 13 weeks may not be quite so lonely as I feared!!! Nighty night all!! xxxxx

[KateandtheGirls]

Have you considered an epidural, skiingmummy?

[Socci]

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[KateandtheGirls]

Yes, you might be right Socci, but if she's worried about the pain of stitches more than the idea of stitches, it might be worth considering...

[pupuce]

Well one of my postnatal client had an epidural which came in too late for the labour but kicked in for the stitches... she was pleased....

[Socci]

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[pupuce]

I would be amazed if you would get a spinal block for "small" stitches.... it's different for a 3rd degree tear of course.

[Socci]

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[skiingmummy]

Oh you poor thing Sallystrawberry - what awful experiences.

I just hope I get a nice midwife at my next AN apptmt so I can discuss all my concerns without being made to feel like I'm overreacting!!

[prettycandles]

Oooh skiingmummy, I wince for you! I also felt everything when they stitched me, and it was utterly traumatising. And, just to add insult to injury (ha ha ha) my stitches didn't heal and I had to have the whole thing cut out and re-done 9m later. And although the surgery healed well, I still had problems afterwards.

With no2 I had a 2nd degree tear again, along the scar, but not as badly as before (according to the midwife). This time the midwife stitched me, rather than the Reg (or was he the Senior Reg? I don't remember), taking her time, explaining what I could feel, and being very considerate about it. I still felt it, but it wasn't nearly as bad as before - unpleasant, rather than traumatising. And, glory of glories, not only did I heal quickly and well, but all the problems that remained from the first delivery disappeared.

What made the biggest difference was the attitude of the midwife. The Reg who stitched me up previously treated me as if I was under a general anaesthetic, he ignored me, and when he did pay me any attention he was rude and abrupt. The midwife was wonderful, understanding that I might still be feeling things despite the local, checking what I could feel, explaining that I could feel her hands rather than the needle, warning when she was about to prick me so that I could take G&A, and so on.

So perhaps my story isn't exactly what you want to hear, but having had stitches twice I want to reassure you that the experience need'nt be awful.

[skiingmummy]

Prettycandles, your story does seem to confirm what I suspected and what a few others have mentioned, that it really is the midwife you get that makes the difference. What I can't understand is why it took 3 of them to stitch me up the first time. Surely if I was that badly torn they should have got a doc in or given me stronger pain relief. Wonder if I could find out what my notes say about the first time.

I do remember thinking that they just didn't care that I was in so much pain - I couldn't move coz my legs were in stirrups yet I could barely lie still with the pain of it. DH had to hold the gas and air to my mouth coz I was shaking so much with the pain that he was afraid I was going to break my teeth!! Maybe if they'd talked to me and explained exactly what they were doing it might have made the whole undignified experience more bearable? And like you Prettycandles, perhaps if they'd warned me everytime a stitch was going in I could have breathed on the gas and air at the right time rather than feeling the intense agony and gasping on it too late?

I feel a bit weepy even thinking about it now - both from reliving the feeling of helplessness at the time and terror at the thought of having to go through it again.

I'm honestly not a wimp.

Its so reassuring to hear about other peoples experiences - good and bad. Bad because it helps me feel that I'm not alone (and not a wimp) and good because it gives me every hope that next time round could be better.

[prettycandles]

Have you talked to anyone about it (apart from us )? My hospital had a Liaison Midwife whose job was to 'debrief' women who felt the need to talk about their birthing experiences. She got my notes ready for our meeting and reviewd the whole labour and aftermath with me. I got a lot off my chest! I was so angry and upset about varoius aspects of my first birthing - including the stitching, obviously. Talking with the midwife made a world of a difference to me, and gave me the confidence to look forwrad to the next birht, rather than dreading a repetition of the first birth.

[skiingmummy]

To be honest Prettycandles I wasn't sure whether I was just overreacting and should have expected and put up with such pain with the stitching. I think there was a lot about my 1st experience that I found undignified and stressful but just accepted coz I didn't know any better and didn't want to 'make a fuss' (eg being on a normal pregnancy ward while in active labour - not good! Being told I was having pelvic twinges when I was sure I was having proper contractions - they definitely hurt like nothing I'd ever felt before!! I could go on...)

I've never heard of a liaison midwife! I definitely feel (after talking to all you guys ) that I need to talk through my 1st experience with one of the team midwives and maybe lay to rest some of the demons. Otherwise I think I'm just gonna go into the whole labour experience already tense and stressed out.

[Socci]

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[skiingmummy]

Thanks Socci!!

I'll definitely be asking what (if any) pain relief options are available for stitches! My mat unit holds a session once a month with an anaesthatist (sp?) to explain all the labour pain relief options so maybe thats the place to raise it?

[Bozza]

Was very much like moongirl. DS was 9 lbs 10 oz and delivered with two hour second stage large epiostomy, legs in stirrups and stitching that I could feel being pulled - I wasn't as traumatised as you although it was very unpleasant - had gas and air and a local.

DD was 8 lbs 12 oz (so smaller), a home birth, delivered with four minute second stage, standing by the side of the bed and only a slight tear. Although you can't have a home birth I definitely think the standing position helped me (also better for my back and piles ). Good luck!

[Angeliz]

skiingmummy, i think that's a good idea to talk through your worries and concerns (and bring up what happened at your first) with a midwife now.
That way you will feel better prepared for this time round, i think you obviously already have the edge by realising that the first time you sort of accepted a few things that you'd now not.

I hope you come on here and tell us all how great a birth it was, (by that time i'll have about 5 weeks to go so you can re-assure me how quick and painless second births are!!!)

[HelloMama]

skiingmummy, i would echo what prettycandles said and go and have a chat with the liaison / head midwife about your first experience. This doesnt have to be a moan or complaint, but just a chat about what happened and why things were the way they were. I recently had a waterbirth for my first baby and although the midwife who delivered my son was absolutely amazing, another midwife from the night shift ended up doing my stitches (i had quite a bad 2nd degree tear). Bearing in mind that I delivered a 9lb 2 oz baby with only water and gas and air, i thought I was pretty hard core - however i cried all the way through having my stitches done, and the midwife was such a cow. I kept asking her to stop so I could catch my breath and calm down, but she just kept going, saying 'stop crying dear, use the gas and air'. It bordered on assualt actually when i think about what informed consent really means. It upset my husband so much to see me like that too, I was hysterical. I am trying to put it behind me now, but I think it may be an issue when I have my next baby. On the good side, I'm lucky that although sore for 2 weeks, they have healed well and we have had no lasting probs IYSWIM I hope everything goes well for you in this birth and look forward to hearing about it on MN!

[Yorkiegirl]

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[tortoiseshell]

I had a 2nd degree tear with ds, which was stitched, and was quite uncomfortable for a while. Dd was bigger (10lb+), but was born at home - still had a 2nd degree tear but mw decided not to stitch.

[prettycandles]

If you can go into the next birth with confidence in yourself and your ability to deal with the experience, then it will all be much better than you expect. And no matter what happens you will be in a much better emotional position to deal with it. You need to lay the ghost of your previous birthing because it is interfering with your preparation for this birthing. Don't trivialise the way you feel. I did this, thinking I had nothing to complain about because I had a healthy wonderful baby. And it wasn't until my 'second timers class' at the hospital that I realised how angry I was about what I had suffered. One person's pinprick is another's major trauma. The important thing is how you feel, because you are the person living with it.

[Socci]

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