Fizzbuzz, that sounds like a really tough experience! Goodness I really feel for you!
Well, I have experienced a vag. delivery that many would describe as straightforward especially for a 1st timer with the baby in a back to back position.
I attended the NCT classes, fought off the obs who wanted to induce me at 40+1 days and gritted my teeth through 24 hours of labour with just gas and air.
I endured catheterisation and a threatened venteuse delivery plus second degree tear.
I and my gorgeous baby were completely 'knackered'. He had difficulty latching on to bf because of tiredness and we stayed in hospital for 3 days due to this.
The stitching hurt for months afterwards and I could hardly recall the birth because I was so exhausted.
Was I proud? Well I was just relieved that we were ok and in one piece. I think 'relieved' is definitely the word I would use to describe my feelings about the event.
I have subsequently lobbied my Obstetrician for an elective cs. I started the research when I was 6 weeks pregnant and presented him with a 3 page letter at my 20 week appointment.
He agreed to a date there and then and we had a very illuminating discussion about natural childbirth and the physiological reasons for incontinency as a result of this mode of delivery( especially for ladies in later life).
I do not wish to divulge any details regarding my reasons for an elective cs as I feel that they are pertinent to myself, my midwife, my DH and Obs only. I apologise if this seems a bit unhelpful.
However I did discover that a study for the British Journal of Psychiatry (2000) revealed:
' Women who got their preferred form of childbirth-usually caesarean section-tended to do much better after after birth. They were less likely to become depressed and bonded well with their babies.'
No, I did not read the entire study but this seemed to make sense to me and maybe the OP might feel the same way.
I would like to say to Kittywits and other vbacers I peruse your threads with interest and enjoy the opportunity to read differing opinions (esp. Lulu's which appears usually to be measured and well informed).
Just like to make up my own mind and expect this to be respected.
Some time ago I read the excellent 'The Weaker Vessel' by Antonia Fraser, (A woman's lot in seventeenth century England). The chapter entitled 'The pain and the Peril' reveals in detail how our ancestors felt about childbirth (clue in the chapter heading).
Reading it will make you glad that you live in the 21st Century and that we do have choice no matter how limited it may seem at times (at least we will not be subjected to cure by 'the pigeons' if something goes wrong).
It is not a recent occurence for women to be terrified of childbirth - it has always been the case and sometimes with good reason.
Anyway power to all you ladies about to give birth (by any way you wish) I hope you have satisfying experiences and speedy recoveries.