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Childbirth

Do I tell her the TRUTH about the pain of childbirth or leave in blissfull ignorance??????

40 replies

Flumpybumpy · 03/07/2007 10:16

A girl at work is 28wks with her first and as I am the only other woman there that had given birth she has been quizzing me about chidbirth.

For teh record I don't actually like her nor she me but she has no-one else to ask about this so I drew the short straw!!

She is convinced that it can't be worse than a really big poo she did recently that made her cry (seriously she was discussing this in the office). I said the pain was worse but how far do I go with this??

Do I tell her the truth or let her carry on thinking a big poo lasting a few minutes is as bad as it is going to get??

Advice please

FB x

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edam · 03/07/2007 12:26

LOL at Kathy.

Daft mare, can't believe she told the office about her bowel movement, not surprised she's hardly Miss Popular.

I'd tell her to do some antenatal classes. And that of course it bloody hurts, you are pushing several pounds worth of baby through your cervix and vagina, but that every labour is different and there is pain relief on hand if it is unbearable. And things you can do that might help and that she'll learn at antenatal classes, such as massaging your perinaeum and staying active.

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MrBocoBurns · 03/07/2007 12:26

I did hypnobirthing. I had homeopathic remedies, i had accupuncture, i did yoga for pregnancy and read all the active birth books, so was prepared for a relaxed, upright, hypnobirthy type of time of it.

I screamed and clawed and howled and ranted and swore and it was the most horrendous pain i could have ever imagined. Afterwards i hated hypnobirthing teachers and homeopaths and active birth people, because i thought they were all a bunch of big fat fibbing fraudsters. The idea of 'breathing out the baby!' hahahahahahahah!

I think you can prepare, and try to be relaxed - but i don't think you really have much control over the pain except for taking drugs. Really. I was so so prepared.

Tell her it'll really really hurt. I think it's worse if you think that the pain is within your control, because then you feel responsible for it - and actually, you have to just ride it out and cope the best you can. I only had gas and air, but i nearly broke dps fingers.

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EmilyandLola · 03/07/2007 12:43

you just get on with it dont you, i remember being in pain and upset, scared, but you just do it, and then you get your baby to cuddle and you forget and it stops.

Its the bleeding, not being able to sit down, the no sleep, the first poo post partum to worry about

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MrLSG · 03/07/2007 12:49

You could pass on a colleague's comment after she had her first child:

"Nothing can prepare you for it and no words can describe the pain despite what you read or what you're told."

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Blu · 03/07/2007 12:56

But you don't know what it will be like for her.
I had a long long OP labour for my first and only experience...and managed fine with TENS and pool - it was hard work, powerful, uncomfortable, but really not actually painful.
So, genuinely, you can't tell her, can you?

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Flumpybumpy · 04/07/2007 10:10

She has been bugging me again today about it, she just said 'come on just tell me the turth, I want to know'. I said that every labour is different and as she is very fit she may have an easier time as her stamina levels etc... would be better than mine. However, nothing is guaranteed and she could have the birth from hell!!!

What is annoying more is she thinks I am not telling her because I am being bitchy and want not be prepared for the pain. She said to one of the other girls (who came and told me)FB is not telling me about labour cause she wants me to go through hell'. Which is only partly true .

Thanks for the links Klaw I will definitely point them her way, maybe she will get off my back a bit.

I read somewhere that teh average labour lasts approx 1000 contractions maybe I will double that and tell her

FB x

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Flumpybumpy · 04/07/2007 10:10

'Tell me the TURTH' seriously dodgy typing

FB x

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Flumpybumpy · 04/07/2007 10:11

want not be prepared, bloody hell what is with me today. Don't let expat see

FB x

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LadyVictoriaOfCake · 04/07/2007 10:12

lol.

dh friend is pregnant with her first. she asked me if it hurt the other day. i said of course it bloody hurts, but at least it worth it.

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krispiecakes · 04/07/2007 10:28

hmm, had a similar situation and droned on to this girl for hours about pain, poo, puke, afterbirth, stiches etc etc. Annoyingly she popped it out in half an hour without even gas and air and said it was no worse than period pain. ,

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Klaw · 04/07/2007 10:30

FB, the best thing you can do is to email her a few links (like the ones I posted) and also some good forums so that she can do her own research and find out for herself.

Obviously don't tell her about MN if you would like to keep some anonimity but there are plenty others. A good one I also use is Babycenter, won't post the link cos MN won't approve. Other ladies I know swear by Kelly mom but I've never really been there.... actually might go have a shufty just now...

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bookwormmum · 04/07/2007 10:30

I had someone badgering me for labour tips a few weeks after I'd had my dd. I refused to give them as I didn't think it was fair to tell her things that may not have been true.

I had to go in the night before with my dd to be induced and there were 2 women in the ward attempting to wind me up about the forthcoming labour, asking me if I were scared of the pain and if not, why not (I wasn't at all fazed by this time). How could I be scared of something I couldn't imagine? I refused to play ball with them and rang my Mum instead.

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Lolly68 · 04/07/2007 10:34

I would tell it her it bloody hurts... why else would it be called Labour!!!???

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Flumpybumpy · 04/07/2007 10:36

God no, I won't tell about MN, this is my little hideaway at work

She isn't very computer literate anyway and always gets other people to do her internet stuff as she is scared of using it.

I keep giggling at other posts (shpuld be working) and she stills thinks I am talking about her (well in a way I am )

FB x

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Rochwen · 09/07/2007 15:19

I@ve had an elective section so I don't know about the pain of labour but I have two friends with very different perceptions. One said that it was painful but managable but the other said that it was excrutiatin and she thought she was going to die, she says that she did not cope. Both had pretty similar births. So, I think it depends on the person and, of course, the positioning is luck of the draw.