Labour- tips and tricks you wish you'd known

[user1484167681]

Hi everyone, just about to go into third trimester with first baby and starting to think about labour and childbirth itself.

Hoping to gather some collective wisdom here- what did you wish you'd known for your first labour? What tips and tricks did you learn (or get told!) that helped with the whole experience? :)

For example, yesterday I discovered that you should take lip balm because your lips can get very dry from the gas/air. Would never have thought of that myself!

[oldlaundbooth]

Try and eat fibre rich food soon after birth, along with loads of water.

Makes the first poo easier.

[YokoReturns]

Don’t lie down! Walk around until it’s totally unbearable, then get the gas and air/get in the water. I did this with DS2 and he was out in 2 pushes. Obviously this depends on everything else being straightforward (see below...)

(Laboured on back with DS1 as he was being monitored, a much longer process and 3rd degree tear).

[LRL2017]

My advice would be to just go with the flow. It's so hard to know what to expect and don't beat yourself up if your birthing plan doesn't go how you want it. I had my first baby 5 weeks ago. I ended up having a fast 2.5 hour labour that was assisted and nothing like I expected but you just do what you have to.

As for cleaning the baby / baby being given to you, that was part of our birthing plan and was completely up to us. I chose to have the baby straight on me but you can have them cleaned up first or they can go to your partner (or that was how it worked at our hospital anyway).

Good luck xx

[Nagus]

Didn't need my lip balm, my playlist or my tankini as it transpired.

Labour is such an overwhelming experience in itself really. Best to just go with it. You've no choice really.

Lots if cold water for your birthing partner to feed to you and lots of nice food for after. I was absolutely starving!

Good luck OP

[mogulfield]

hypnobirthing! It helped me a considerable amount with keeping calm and focused, and therefore really helped with pain.
The birthing pool also helped loads with pain, get in one
You’ll be fine, everyone on this Earth is here because someone has given birth... some African tribeswomen just pop outside their hut, squat and squeeze out a baby (sometimes the 10th/11th etc) then calmly return to the hut.

[mogulfield]

Oh and my hair properly fell out after birth, I was breastfeeding so maybe that was it. I ended up with some areas that were really thin, when normally I have thick hair.

[Tilapia]

Eat lots of fruit for your post birth snack. This will make your first post birth poo a lot less scary!

Several people earlier in the thread mentioned gravity and not lying down. Just to mention that we are all different and I found (with all three of my babies) that lying flat on my back was the most effective position for me. For some reason they didn’t want to come out when I tried standing, kneeling etc (I’m talking about right near the end here) and it started to happen as soon as I lay on my back.

[newmum7369]

1. Start a MN post titled 'things you wish you'd known before giving birth' - well done OP, you're off to a good start

1. Lots of cheap pairs of black knickers, leggings, vests etc. The cheaper and thinner the better, it is roasting on maternity wards and you won't want to worry about ruining decent stuff. Also old towels for home.

1. I don't want to panic you but be prepared for the amount of blood - it's totally normal and you'll be fine but this shocked me a bit. Take lots of large maternity pads so you can change them frequently to help you feel cleaner. Take a few of the pads they put on your bed in hospital home too.

1. Anusol. I had stitches but they didn't actually hurt at all, even when I went for a wee. The piles on the other hand were a bugger. I used to wear 2 long maternity pads so they literally went from front to back and overlapped them near my bottom so I had a bit of extra padding there which helped when I sat down.

1. If you need/want pain relief, demand it and don't be fobbed off. I had 9lb 5.5oz DS1 by induction and only had gas and air from about 7cm dilated because the midwife told me I wasn't in labour. DH was at home an hour away and I was told not to ring him because I had ages to go yet. The mental stress of being in a side room alone thinking I wasn't even close was shit and totally unnecessary. It also meant I ran out of time for an epidural which I wanted and was told by the midwives on the delivery ward I needed.

1. Don't be disappointed if you don't feel a sudden rush of love when baby is put on your chest. I was just relieved it was over and we were both still alive.

1. Be kind to yourselves and don't expect too much to begin with. You've both had a shock both mentally and physically. A lot can change in just a week.

1. Not everyone breastfeeds and it can be quite tricky to get the hang of. It's amazing if it works for you but it didn't for us and it turned into a really stressful experience. Choose what's right for you even if that goes against some midwives' advice.

1. Don't rush to get home. We were home within 24hrs and in hindsight I wish I'd stayed an extra night at least.

10. Have faith that you CAN do it. We are all the result of hundreds of years of women giving birth and you are about to join the best club in the world.

Good luck OP, let us know what you have (if you don't already know!)

[SupermarketSally]

I agree with @newmum7369, especially number 6!

The moment each of my children were born, my first thought was 'thank fuck that's over'

[CakesRUs]

Go with the flow. It's great to be clued up and think about what you think you want - but be prepared that it may not go exactly how you expect. All of us just don't know how our labours are going to go, it might be better than you expect, not just worse. Good luck, exciting times ahead for you!

[StEthelburgaOfBarking]

Newmum's point number 6. ^^ That's it, in a nutshell.

[StEthelburgaOfBarking]

Newmum7369's point number 8, too ^^
She has also reminded me re. hospital. My home birth - planned so as t avoid hospital - ended with a flipping week as an in-patient. DC1 is 16, and I am still traumatised - partly my own fault, as I was so keen for a home birth that the midwives bent over backwards to help me, even though it was clear that 10lb back-to-back stuck DS was never going to come out without intervention. Be prepared for anything, and listen to the people who know what they're doing. In the end, you just want to get the baby out, alive.

[crazycatbaby]

Don’t be scared of epidurals, they are amazing (and I’m terrified of needles). Maternity pads are surprisingly comfy. And if you get cajoled into eating a mouthful of toast or some sweets in labour and then have to have a section and a GA, the lovely anaesthetist will have to hold her hand over your throat like she’s strangling you as you get put under Wish I’d have stuck to lucozade then, lol

[Mycarsmellsoflavender]

Start drinking raspberry leaf tea now. I drank it every day in the third trimester and had 4 quick labours ( 1st was 4.5 hours, others were 2 hours or less). I attribute it to the raspberry leaf tea as this is what it's supposed to do.

[MytToeHurtsBetty]

Take lactose. No one needs to strain after that. Natural OR c section.

[ememem84]

Totally agree with point 6 above. When ds popped out I was so overwhelmed with relief I burst into tears. Dh thinks I was overwhelmed with love. Nope. Relief.

I am totally in love with ds now though.

[annawilson12]

Hypnobirthing was such an amazing tool to allow me to cope with everything, I had an (unplanned) unassisted home birth and it kept me so calm and able to deal with the labour. I think it would have also helped had I been in hospital or had to be induced etc. Try really hard to relax between contractions. And learn some breathing techniques. I was lucky in that my labour was straightforward, 7hrs from water breaking to baby appearing, and managed to breath through it all with no pain relief-it can happen. Everyone's experience is so different so be prepared to go with whatever's you feel you should do at the time.

[FirsttimemumJan18]

I've also made a note on some of these very useful tips...so thank you ladies! 13 weeks to go!!!👶

[Fadingmemory]

Breathing exercises helped enormously in dealing with pain during contractions. I had practised during the latter part of my pregnancies.

[marvinsandwich]

Hypnobirthing classes/cd before hand to prepare you, help relax you and help prevent you get nervous/worried.
When it starts, if it's very painful before you get to hospital, jump in the bath. Helped me a lot.
Big breaths through contractions. Don't get hung up on doing a specific Hypnobirthing breath technique.
Get your partner to massage your back in the early stages. This really helps.
Gas and air
I found staring at a specific point (in my case my partner's face!) and concentrating on my breath through the contractions helped when they got closer together.
An epidural if you need it. (I did. It was wonderful!).

Also:
Pack your birth bag with your partner so he knows where everything is. I was a bit out of it after my first birth and he couldn't find anything! So my baby was given a scratchy hospital issue hat. I was a bit upset by this!
And pack chocolate bars and energy bars and sarnies for him. That way he can stay with you rather than having to go hunting for vending machines round the hospital when he's not eaten in 10 hours!

[marvinsandwich]

Also - buy some cheap primark pants a couple of sizes too big for you to wear afterwards with maternity pads. Much better than the awful paper knickers.

[marvinsandwich]

And - it's really hot on maternity wards. (For the babies) so take t shirts and thin nighties etc. Or you'll swelter.

[marvinsandwich]

And don't spend a fortune on a special birthing nightie. Ridiculous. You'll spend most of the time wearing just a t shirt or totally naked. And you won't care.

[rachrach2]

I did pregnancy yoga instead of hypnobirthing and I found those breathing techniques helped a lot (as I imagine hypnobirthing would too, but I couldn’t get past some of the terminology so wasn’t for me). I had one (days long) labour with an epidural once I was allowed due to exhaustion, it was great. I had a lovely water birth with my second which was an amazing experience but I made the right decision for the circumstances both times.

If you like photos, ask your husband to take some, I have photos all through labours (including the actual births) and I love them. They are private ones obviously but i enjoy looking at them! Wish I had a video now!

I always use tampons for periods but liked maternity pads after my first and it was good padding for stitches! If you have stitches, holding a pad firmly over them when trying to poo was really helpful. Breastfeeding lying down was more comfy too than putting pressure on my stitches and I actually loved feeding lying down generally after that in the evening/night time.

Lansinoh ointment for nipples before and after every feed to start and make an real effort to get latch right even if means removing baby a few times and trying again. Anusol at the first sign of any piles!

[Scoleah]

Take food & Extra food for your OH!
We both got a Cup of Tea & Toast (best piece of toast I’ve ever had: may I add!) straight after birth (just after midnight), my husband stayed the Night. I got fed breakfast, he didn’t. & as it was all so fast we didn’t take any change for machines /to buy breakfast either so we shared a bowl of rice crispies! so Definalty take spare change!

Take Chrgers, take mini fan, Maternity pads and don’t wear light pjs afterwards! ( I naively packed white pjs after dd) big mistake! & comfy clothes for coming home in. Why I thought taking pre pregnancy jeans in with me to drag on whilst wearing a giant maternity Pad , I have no idea!
Good luck with everything