Labour- tips and tricks you wish you'd known

[user1484167681]

Hi everyone, just about to go into third trimester with first baby and starting to think about labour and childbirth itself.

Hoping to gather some collective wisdom here- what did you wish you'd known for your first labour? What tips and tricks did you learn (or get told!) that helped with the whole experience? :)

For example, yesterday I discovered that you should take lip balm because your lips can get very dry from the gas/air. Would never have thought of that myself!

Breathing. In through your nose for for five, out through your mouth for five. You can breathe through the pain to a large extent.

But be prepared for anything. My long-planned drug-free home-birth ended up as anything but, as DC1 was so badly stuck. He also turned back-to-back on my due date.

Don't have a rigid plan. If you have a plan and everything conspires to make it work, great. But if not, all that matters is that you have a healthy baby at the end of it.

Oh yes - disposable pants - I picked some up from boots - handy for first few days.

Nobody told me that when your pushing 'hold' the muscles/keep the tension on the pushing muscles between contractions! I was pushing my hardest then totally flopping and resting between them so DS was popping in and out and out for a few contractions until it suddenly twigged in my labour haze fog to keep the pressure on then suddenly he was out in 2 more pushes!

Stay upright as long as possible. Gravity helps a lot! I had to have constant foetal monitoring and I was on a drip when I had DS2 but I was still able to delivery him standing up so long as I didn't move away from the bed. Gravity helps a lot!

Breathing makes a lot more difference than you think it will. When you tense up during contractions they seem more painful so the breathing helps you to stay more relaxed. I also found focusing on something else during the contraction to help. I mentioned this to my SIL and she said she spent the first part of her labour staring at my shoes during contractions because they were brightly coloured.

As Maudlinmaud mentioned, labour uses the exactly the same muscles as pooing. So if you feel like you don't know "how" to push then it's pretty much the same as trying to poo when you're constipated.

Don't be afraid to ask for pain relief if you think you need it. There aren't any medals for a drug-free birth. Some people need pain relief, others don't but you won't know until you're in labour.

Yes to bendy straws for during and a jug for afterwards!

If you are being induced and on a hormone drip do consider an epidural - I will not be doing that on gas and air again!

You won't have time for shit like lip balm. What you NEED are four million pairs of big black pants, maternity pads and a massive dark coloured bath towel for your first wash post partum.

Listen to your body and don’t fight the pain, just go with whatever your body is telling you to do.

Remember to breathe, sounds weird but there will be times where you find yourself holding your breath and I needed to be reminded to breathe deeply.

Don’t panic. Everyone goes through a bit of a ‘oh god I can’t do this anymore’ stage, usually when you get to that bit you’re actually not that far from the end.

Take lots of pads, however many you think you need then pack ten more

Take all the painkillers for afterwards, as soon as you’ve had baby then start taking them and keep it up for a couple of days, after pains are a bitch.

Ooh and try not to have too many visitors in the first 48 hours, baby’s are quite sleepy those first two days so you’ll have a bit of a chance to rest so make the most of it before the endless feed/wind/poo cycles start. Also if you’re breastfeeding gives you a chance to get some practice in without worrying about having spectators

Thanks for the continued advice! Regarding knickers, which seems to be a huge point, how many pairs do I ACTUALLY need? Everyone says loads, or "more than you think"; what is that in number terms? And why so many, do the maternity pads leak??

Also, (apologies if TMI) I've not used sanitary pads in years- tampons were a revolution in terms of feeling clean, when I discovered them. I find pads feel all messy and horrible, having got used to how clean (relatively!) one stays with tampons. Slightly dreading needing to use maternity pads for, what, weeks?? Days? Will I need wet wipes for when I use the loo? :S

Sorry for the slightly graphic, and probably quite basic, questions. I only discovered afterbirth was a thing when I started looking into labour itself... definitely getting an education here, and would like to be as prepared as possible.

My friend told me " imagine you are doing a really big poo" !
That's what they mean when they say push or bear down.

Keep mobile as long as possible. Walk around. I found waggling my hips in a circle helped later in in labour. I delivered all three of mine on my knees, leaning over the back of the bed.

My DH was brilliant and at one time Inthiught. Would die when he nipped out of the room to make a phone call!!!!

Expect to feel very bruised and battered for a few days after even with a normal vaginal delivery. You will leak wee and bleed quite a lot. You do need those big maternity pads !

Good luck.

Go to ante natal classes run by your midwives or doctors oractive. Or even better if you can afford it go to NCT, and take your partner too.

Epidural is everything

I think I took about 10 pairs of knickers. Get cheap ones from primark or somewhere, much better than those horrible disposable ones. I bled for about 8 weeks after my vaginal delivery, was able to downgrade to the thinner maternity pads after a couple of weeks. Boots often have their thick and thin maternity pads on a 3 for 2 offer, so best to just get a load in, you'll definitely use them!

Slightly dreading needing to use maternity pads for, what, weeks?? Days?

Pretty much for as long as your post-birth bleeding lasts (anything from two to eight weeks). It gets lighter after the first 1-2 weeks and normal pads are fine. Even if you have a straightforward vaginal birth and no stitches, you have a big old wound inside where your placenta has broken away from the wall of the uterus, so you need to use pads rather than internal protection to avoid infection.

I bought 2 packs of granny size big black knickers and also used my maternity big primark pants. So about 20 pairs. Don’t forget washing will be the last thing on your mind.

I preferred Sainsbury’s maternity pads and probably used about 10 packs, although everyone is different. I bled for about 2 weeks and but was using normal pads/Asda’s thin pads towards the end.

Also leggings in a size above, for me the £10 Sainsbury’s ones were great, (DH did good on his emergency lactose, pads, legging trip). They were thick so you couldn’t see through them like cheaper ones. Another good tip I read was some big thinish cardigans rather than a dressing gown, so if people turned up, you felt as though you weren’t in night clothes.

I gave birth 11 weeks ago and I could still describe it graphically if you like? Haha

At my baby shower I was given a jokey "labour survival kit" ... inside were granny style 18-20 knickers. I'm a size 10 and returned to a size 10 quickly afterwards- I wore those knickers just after the birth and for several weeks afterwards. I think you just need comforting pants :-D
I had to stay in hospital so im not sure- I'd maybe take 7 pairs? Your other half can always return home for more if you need to stay in.

Dry shampoo- because I stayed in- i didn't want to wash my hair but i didn't want to look like a greaseball either. Ps- since giving birth I've had relatively greasy hair- never suffered with this. Also, i think when people tell you that you will "lose lots after hair"-It's a myth. Reality is you'll just not have time to brush it so when you finally do there's a lot of hair that's there.

I thought I would have unicorns skipping around the room underneath rainbows whilst I meditated through labour. This did NOT happen. I was determined not to have an epidural - and I didn't- but if I were to be induced again I would seriously consider this. So stay open minded 're pain relief.

Use gas and air as soon as you need to. I stupidly thought if I used it too soon i wouldn't "feel like benefit" later on. Not true. I did have to concentrate when I was using it right at the end because if you don't breathe it in as you're supposed to you can't keep on top of the contractions (I lost my mind on several occasions).

I was induced which I can only describe as agonising (others may have a different experience). However, I don't know why it's not used as a torture method. Early on in the induction i spent a lot of time googling induction (stupidly) I wish id had a magazine/netflix/kindle.

No one ever told me that you can get contraction in your legs-this really took me by surprise (thats a mild description of my reaction) so I just wanted to warn you.

Take an extra nightie/pjs and extra slippers. Mine were destroyed in the massacre that i appeared to be the centre of.

I write this tongue in cheek/aiming to be light hearted/jokey about birth. You will never experience anything as incredible in your life. You will be blown away by your body's ability to deliver another life and by your own strength. No matter what you go through (easy/difficult labour) you would do it ten times over to meet you baby.

Thinking back to last time, I was on the hormone drip so strapped up to monitor. For some reason I found myself focussing on the number for contraction (goes way up then drops down again as contraction eases). Once I saw it peak then start to drop I thought 'Ok that's another one finished' weird but helped me manage them. Til i was examined at one stage and hadn't progressed much so fell to pieces and asked for epidural.

The reason the pads leak is because there is so much blood. Not trying to scare you (it's not scary, just grim) but it's nothing like a period bleed. For the first week after birth I wore two at a time (was in hospital so unconcerned about looking like I was wearing a nappy - which it did!)

After birth bleeding can last as little as a week or two, or if you're super lucky like me it can last nine weeks. Gah. I did have a particularly awful vag birth though so hopefully you won't have this.

If you are on any form of iron tablets/liquids I am not joking when I say get some lactulose and have it to hand if you need (or ask in hospital for something similar). After birth pooping is a little bit traumatic at the best of times especially if you're stitched - when on iron tablets with nothing to soften its fucking torture.

Can I just add that is is absolutely not a myth that some women's hair falls out after childbirth!!

I'm only being contrary because I didn't notice for a while and when I was getting ready to go out somewhere nice a few weeks after having my first DD with DH, I was absolutely hysterical because I had a ring of baldness around my hair line that was only visible when I tied my hair back to put my makeup on. It was really upsetting for me as I thought it was abnormal but it's actually very common and is not visible when your hair is down, but just a warning to avoid you getting a big shock like I did :)

Im not in the uk so some stuff that i read on mn really didnt apply. Heres what worked for me:

• 2 packs of black primarni pants.
• Sanitary towels were fine - bodyform I think are the nicest (not a fan of pads) and since you will be in bed youll need the bedtime ones.
• hospital gave me net pants and maternity pads. Id rather have used my primarni and bodyform.
• a squirty water bottle for spraying mist on you when in labour. I got v v hot.
• A charger with a long cable.
• an elastic bracelet to put on your wrist so you can remember which side you started bfing on.
• something I would have liked was one of those bath caddies to rest on the side of the bed. I found people kept moving the locker to get to me and then not moving it back again.
• if youre worried about leaking then the poundshop does absorbent pads. I think theyre designed for when kids are bedwetting but hey.
• my lips didnt get dry. Never touched the MN lipbalm.
• get soneone to take a picture of the 3 of you. The most flattering for you is from the side level with your head.
• have hæmorroid cream and lanison (? Nipple cream) ready.

I bought compresses from boots for bruising afterwards (purple and white packet with all the other fun maternity stuff). Take arnica for bruising. You will bruise and swell.

I was prescribed iron tablets which just messed me up a bit. Eugh constipation. The midwife once we were Home suggested spatone instead - iron drink.

If you are on iron tablets take them with orange juice. Vitamin c helps absorption of iron. I did not know this. Dairy inhibits it.

Also drink loads of water after. It helps dilute your wee making it less likely to sting so much

Afterwards. When you need to pee take a wee jug of warm water to pour on yourself afterwards to clean the area asap. Helped with stingy sensation too. I found bfing really helped stop the bleeding within around ten days, but everyone is different.

Best thing I did was Daisy birthing classes. Breathing and mental prep. I would agree with everyone else, upright and walk around as much as possible, music when in early labour and dance and jiggle.

Lovely advice I got was being told that your cervix doesn't just suddenly dilate and open. It's our body and the baby working together that make it happen. It's more like stretching a pair of tights than a valve that just opens and closes! This made me think about me and my baby doing labour together and made me feel less solely responsible for not being able to do it. We needed to work together. So I was inwardly saying things like 'come on wee pal, we can do it, down we go.'

Also being told that no contraction will last longer than a minute was a revelation. Anythings is bearable when it peaks after 30 seconds and you know it will have disappeared completely in another 30. Would also agree with tbeing happy as it's one contraction you'll never see again and I envisaged it as being one step closer to my baby each time. In my head I was on 5 Mile Bridge in the Florida Keys and and each contraction was a bridge to an island and my baby was on the last island waiting for me. Weird but helpful for me!

Butter mints and lucozade sport kept my energy levels up. All fours in the pool helped with gas and air.

It was also helpful to know that there will be a point where you freak out and think you can't do it. This is transition, it's a good sign, it means your body is getting ready to push. Get your partner to remind you of this to help calm you down.

I didn't really push, it was more of a really deep breath, like a moo sounds and bearing down like a poo that was most effective I think. Good luck. I did it twice and would happily do it again. Pregnancy on the other hand, no thanks!

Refuse to be sent home if you want to stay.

Refuse internal if you don’t want one.

Do not accept ‘let’s just see how you get on’ when you’ve asked for gas and air.

Bring painkillers for after pains. Bring snacks/drinks.

Lansinoh for nipples.

Find out how your midwife removes the placenta. Some let you deliver naturally and some yank it out. Don’t let them yank it.

Tell your partner to fight your corner. You may not be able to.

Knowledge is power! But even after 3 times, I’m still kicking myself for accepting crap because you become so vulnerable.

Good luck! X