Labour- tips and tricks you wish you'd known

[user1484167681]

Hi everyone, just about to go into third trimester with first baby and starting to think about labour and childbirth itself.

Hoping to gather some collective wisdom here- what did you wish you'd known for your first labour? What tips and tricks did you learn (or get told!) that helped with the whole experience? :)

For example, yesterday I discovered that you should take lip balm because your lips can get very dry from the gas/air. Would never have thought of that myself!

[SnugglySnerd]

Not really labour advice but buy some really cheap flip flops to wear in the shower. The showers on post natal wards are grim.

[timeforbedsleepyhead80]

Yes to lip balm, the g&a makes your mouth and lips really dry. Mine went all cracked was really glad of my little tub of Vaseline!

Based on just my own experience:

Take all the drugs you need. There are no medals for going without.

If you're induced on the hormone drip, get an epidural put it at the same time. Seriously!

Have a few flannels or wipes handy, it's nice to be able to wash your face/cool down

Inductions can take days. Take something to do/read

[2014newme]

Ear plugs and eye mask. They don't switch the lights fully out on the ward and there are babies crying and people coming and going all night. It's very loud. I had my own room thank goodness but I'd have hated the ward

[timeforbedsleepyhead80]

Also agree with pps about flip flops for the shower after, and straws! Bendy ones specifically. Hopefully you'll be mobile during labour, but if you've had an epidural or are being monitored and are on the bed, as dramatic as it sounds it's really helpful for your birth partner to be able to hold up a glass of water with a straw for you rather than you faffing with a glass and getting hit with another contraction.

Also, take a 6 pack of bottled water (no waiting around when midwives are too busy to bring it) and some energy drinks like lucozade.

[Jooni]

Eat little and often, or at least drink something sugary frequently to keep your fuel up if you can't face food. I had a really long labour with DC1 and didn't eat much at all for several days because of it. It was very stop-start and everything took a long time to get going properly. With DC2 I had a urine test when I got to the hospital and they found ketones (produced when you are "running on empty") - apparently this can really mess with labour as your body's instinct is to conserve energy. I suspect this is what made it so slow the first time. I made sure to eat lots of sweets, toast, small easy things after that and it was so much quicker and more straightforward.

Good luck!

[iCoCo]

During birth I had a midwife and a student midwife. (5th and 6th midwife of the day) When it came to push we did it in 3s.

The midwife encouraged me to push push push as they do. After 45mins the student midwife (when the main midwife was out of the room) told me I was pushing most on pushes 1 and 2 and had nothing left for push 3. Push 3 is the most important. I made so much more progress doing it that way. I wish I’d been told that before, I’d not been told in antenatal classes or by any midwife. I loved that student midwife and she will be amazing when she qualifies.

Oh and have no expectations, I wanted a water birth, no forceps, ventouse etc. But you don’t care in the moment, you just want baby out.

Pack two bags. One with essentials for you and baby, one packed for an extended stay that can be brought in if needed. I took far too many things that did not get used that were essential! I looked like I was about to fly out for a 2 week holiday.

[Maudlinmaud]

When it comes to pushing, it's the same action as pooing. I think if I had realised this earlier my labour would have been easier and maybe even quicker. I had the runs in early labour before I went into hospital and I was worried it would happen during labour so was afraid to push.
Leave all your insecurities at reception and just get that baby out.
Good luck

[TobleroneBoo]

Place marking, interesting read - I'm due in April

[ohthegoats]

I was really terrified of an epidural, wanted water birth/hypnosis style stuff. I did all that from 11pm until 7pm.. with the help of the birth pool, calming lighting, bouncing, walking, marmite sandwiches, jelly babies and chocolate milk, and some of it was great/empowering/all that jazz. In the end it all slowed down and I was exhausted, I just wanted the epidural. The epidural 'saved' the birth experience for me, it was all so calm and lovely once I'd had it. There won't be a second one (due to age), but if there was going to be, my birth plan would be 'epidural'.

[savagehk]

Breathing, keep calm, hypnobirthing was great. Don't fear the next contraction think of it as one step closer to baby coming.

[sthitch]

Don't be scared to have an epidural - I'm terrified of needles but found it to be near on painless.

I went in wanting a water birth but ended up on the drip - I took the advice from here that the drip is too painful without an epi so had one done before it was put in.

If you have one- relax and try and sleep- I didn't, I was so scared the whole way through I was shaking for hours and my heart rate was ridiculous all because I was scared that I'd feel everything at the end and have no build up to deal with the pain when really all I could feel was pressure and there was no need to be scared, I was also sure I'd have an episiotomy and kept pinching my legs thinking oh my god I'm going to feel them cut, but they DO check and will give you a local so no need to stress. (I wish I knew this)

I would be so much calmer next time knowing this.

Don't let them leave you after if you ask for pain relief- day 2 after birth in hospital I let the horrible midwife leave me all day when I'd asked a few times- she was quite patronising thinking back and I wish I wasn't so nice about it - it's their job to help you and I shouldn't have let that happen. I could barely get off the bed to walk to the toilet.

Pay for a private room if you have a long birth- best thing I did as I got some sleep and had all my visits in private + all the baby checks done privately. £100 well spent.

[ToesInWater]

I wish I had known prior to my first birth that giving birth on all fours is obviously the best way for me. First baby in hospital lying on my back, every drug known to man, 17 1/2 hour labour, second a 4 1/2 hour home birth (on the floor), last one 45 minutes start to finish. Gravity works - hope all goes well for you 😊

[BalloonSlayer]

My sister advised me "if your waters break/labour starts in the very early hours of the morning, don't think ooh, I'll meet my baby TODAY because you might well be disappointed when you don't have the baby till the next day." She had found that quite dispiriting.

I remembered that when my waters broke at 3.30am. I thought "Oooh, xx/xx/xx, nice date for the baby's birthday!" then remembered my sister's advice and shut that thought down. Sure enough the birthday ended up being the following day.

[Positivevibe]

Don't assume that DP is necessarily the best birthing partner. You really need someone who'll attend your every need. You need someone with previous experience of birth with a caring side to them. Do consider hiring a doula for example.

[TillyTheTiger]

Hypnobirthing (just buy the CDs, you don't have to pay for a course), or watch YouTube for breathing techniques.
Roll on deodorant - my hospital didn't allow aerosols.
Stay upright rather than lying down but don't go for a walk unless they tell you to, I was in labour for days and I was beyond exhausted because I didn't rest enough at the start.
LOADS of snacks and drinks, I couldn't eat anything during labour but was ravenous afterwards.
A small plastic jug for the bathroom afterwards. You'll likely be very sore so pouring cool water over yourself helps.

[Yogagirl123]

Breathing is very important, keep active, and try not to worry, labour was far easier than I ever expected it to be, obviously it does hurt, but I didn’t need any form of pain relief probably due to both my labours being fairly quick. Glucose tablet to suck can be a help when you need a burst of energy in the second stage. Good luck OP, and whatever labour you have when you have your baby in your arms, it’s all worth it.

[MessyBun247]

Epidural! If you decide you want one,insist on it very early on!

Also, when you feel the burning ring of fire as the babies head crowns, pause and wait until the area goes numb. This only takes a few mins. Ignore the midwives telling you to push at this point! Once it is numb, wait until body tells you to push. Doing this meant I needed no stitches and she was 8.9 lb with a large head and I'm tiny! With my first DD I started pushing while I still felt the burning, and I needed stitches in the end and it was far more painful. And she was a dinky 7.4lb. Honestly I just listened to my body the 2nd time.

[falcon5]

I vomit during. Rest of my family does too. So at very beginning had soup to get as much absorbed as possible. Only thing I could keep down and really helped to get energy was honey and water mixed.

[user1484167681]

These have all been so so helpful, thanks so much, everyone! A lot to think about and take in...

What about afterwards? I hadn't realised quite how much blood I can apparently expect so will definitely go well-prepared on that front. And take a little jug to help with using the loo... Or even immediately afterwards; should baby be placed on me straight away? Or get wiped down? When will DH get involved (I'd like him to, that's not a matter for concern!) So many questions!

[Tryingtokeepfit]

Look up some simple breathing techniques.
I thought it was silly, but so glad I discussed (sniggered) it with my DH before labour.

Breathe in for 4 seconds (count 4 in your head or get your birth partner to), breathe out for 8 seconds slowly.

[Tryingtokeepfit]

For afterwards, I'd recommend taking lots of disposable pants and inco pads (the hospital will probably provide these)
I bled v heavily and stuffed a full income pad in my maternity pants for the first 5 days. It did look like I was wearing a nappy through my leggings!

[timeforbedsleepyhead80]

Afterwards I found useful:

Loads of maternity pads (though hospital will also provide)
Comfy clothes, nothing tight - pyjamas, joggers. Massive black knickers that go right up past your belly button just in case you end up with a section, you don't want a seam on a wound. Thin layers, maternity wards are boiling
A big black bath towel. Hospital ones are scratchy and you don't want to stain one from home unless you're happy to chuck it. Flip flops and a wash bag for your shower. Depending on your birth experience you may need help with showering, my OH was allowed to come in and help me
Snacks. Our hospital food was dire, and you'll need to keep your strength up


Immediately after birth is really up to you. You can have baby placed on you immediately without being cleaned up if you want. Your DH can be as involved as you want. My OH cut the cord and was proud as punch, after saying previously there was no way he'd want to. Skin to skin is great for baby and increases your hormone rush which helps with BF if that what you plan to do. Do you know baby's sex? We didn't, and I made sure the midwives knew I wanted OH to tell me, which was a nice moment for us. You'll be asked if you want to let your placenta come out naturally, or if you want a quick injection to get it out almost immediately. You'll also need to consent to baby having a vitamin k injection (do your own research on this but it's important and recommended), and baby will be taken briefly for weighing etc. If you need to be stitched etc then DH can have lovely Daddy cuddles.

Have you done a birth plan? I did a really basic one, I don't believe you can plan birth really but I had a short bullet point list of my preferences regarding pain relief, use of forceps/ventouse, induction, skin to skin after birth, feeding etc. The NHS and the NCT have template ones on their websites, they're huge but having a read of them can give you pointers of the things that might be important to you.

[GummyGoddess]

Frozen maternity pads with aloe vera and witch hazel, individually wrapped in freezer.

Don't make up your mind about pain relief now. I know people are saying get all the drugs but I think that makes it sound a bit scary. You might not need or want anything or you might want everything but you can't tell until you're in that situation, and there is no shame in having an epidural but also no shame in not having anything at all.

Also agree with pp, home births are fantastic if you're healthy and baby is doing well.

[iCoCo]

As mentioned above, at home make sure you have loads of big black knickers, I bought them cheap from primark and wore them for a couple of weeks Months.

Buy some lactulose from the pharmacy and have ready lavender and tea tree oils, add the drops mixed with milk into your baths to assist healing. I also added salt to my bath. My stitches came undone but I had no infections. I also added the oils and salt to a paper cup and poured over myself after using the loo. I do credit this to how well I healed.

Be kind to yourself, limit visits if possible. (Wish I’d done this) and forget any housework. It can wait.

What I still find weird is how I didn’t care who saw my stitches, every midwife I came into contact with I asked to check. Don’t be afraid to reassure yourself if you need too.

If you can, leave the house a couple of days after arriving home, we had to go to the hospital due to jaundice and leaving the house was the best thing, took away the fear doing it so early. 😄