More on Health Visitors

[Bisonex]

Any day now I will be a grandfather for the first time - my daughter-in-law was due yesterday but no signs of labour yet.

I have noticed a dew discussions on here about health visitors. Having attended child abuse case conferences in a professional capacity I would advise anyone strongly against admitting a HV to their homes. My eldest daughter, now a doctor in paediatrics, shares my view on this.

HVs are far more concerned with carrying out surveillance on mothers and babies than giving any practical help or advice. They keep detailed records not just about the child, but they make assessments of the mother and father - their perceived competence as parents etc, the cleanliness of the home and anything else that catches their interest. If you try to see these records, they will obstruct you every step of the way. My son and D-i-L are clear that they will not be admitting the HV, or allowing her to see the baby - only the GP will be allowed to perform any checks.

I have seen suggestions that admitting HVs is compulsory. That's absolute nonsense - it isn't. A refusal to admit a HV will be noted - obviously - but that's all. Without plenty of other evidence, denied access would not be anywhere near enough to warrant interest from social services, let alone give them any powers. We had three children of our own and no HV ever crossed the threshold, nor were they allowed any access to our children. Once they realised we weren't going to change our minds, they left us lone.

Basically, if you let them in, they will open a file on you and it will contain a whole lot of stuff you will never see, yet which could be used against you should they ever wish to do so.

[lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs]

i wouldnt worry too much, i burnt DD1 with hot oil :( when she came running to the kitchin and tbh hospitals know most of the time if its an accident.

[nunnie]

"omg, you really need to calm down. HV do make notes, they have to, its their job! and secondly they dont tend to go out to families unless they need to, in otherwords they have a concern or have been asked to go. They havent got time to see everyone and I havent seen one in 2years!"

I am confused Lisa, are you saying that when I had a health visitor with both my children when my midwife discharged me to their care, was because there was a concern? I am pretty sure it is standard practice, but maybe you could clarify.

[RobynLou]

it's standard practice to do one or two visits, they generally only do home visits later on if there's a problem, depends on the area though.
mine came out when I had pnd, only gave me a quick call when dd broke her arm though.
I don't think it's possible to underestimate the good some HVs do for women with pnd.

[Longtalljosie]

It varies from area to area. Our health visitors do home visits when your baby is tiny, and then you go to the children's centre. My friend in a different part of the UK - her midwife did house visits, whereas I went to the GPs. It's not the same everywhere.

[nunnie]

Oh thank you, I thought so, only saw her about 3 times with both at home, then for jabs and reviews in clinic.

[jammiedodger2]

I'm so relieved. I'm a hv and was expecting some serious hv bashing (really shouldn't read these threads) but it seems to be pretty much what I have experienced as a mum. mainly good, the odd bad experience.
What I am loving is the OP suggestion that I am a spy for the government on a par with MI5/6. Makes my job sound very glamorous and exciting!

[NonnoMum]

jammie I was cheerleading for HVs and their uptodate knowledge of carseats/baby drop ins/latest weaning advice, but no one noticed...

[faverolles]

I had a visit from a spy health visitor this morning.
She was lovely. Knows all about Tongue tie so is able to advise us about ds.
After reading this thread, I was slightly worried (and ds is my fourth) so what will a first time mother feel reading this?
Irresponsible posts op!

[Chickchickchickchickchickpea]

Ok so just to clarify - is it a good idea to speak to a hv if you're struggling or not?

I'm a single mum with not much support and I've been feeling pretty crap for quite a while. I had just about plucked up courage to go and speak to my hv about it but I'm having second thoughts now! Will they come round and inspect my house and spy on me?

[TondelayoSchwarzkopf]

that this dumb thread has made you feel this way Chick - I'm sure someone who has experience of what you are going through will reassure you but HVs are there to support not spy. My DSis also a single mum and needing help with various issues at the moment but everyone from the various services (health / social) has been supportive and sympathetic and NOT been making notes on her furniture and cleanliness.

[Chickchickchickchickchickpea]

Thanks Tondelayo, thats good to know. I've never had to take dd to A&E and I don't think they would have any reason to be concerned for her safety but I wonder if they will question why I didn't tell them I felt depressed sooner or why I didn't tell them dp had left. Is that likely to be a cause for concern do you think?

[MrsJamesMartin]

Chick, you don't have to update your HV on your relationships. It is something that will come up when you speak to them because they will ask about your support systems (family and friends).

Being depressed does not make you a bad or incompetent parent. Seeking help to improve your health and, consequentially, your childs health is something that takes courage and that should be recognised.

Please speak to your HV if you feel able to. They can help you access support on an on going basis, this may well be via your local children's centre.

Your HV should be honest with you about confidentiality and her duties with regard to child protection from the outset, so you both know where you stand.

[jammiedodger2]

Chick
Please tell your HV. When I had my first dd I had post-natal depression and my Health Visitor was an absolute life saver, she just gave me time and space to talk. She is one of the reasons I went into Health Visiting.
As with all professions there are the exceptions but the majority of us are very passionate about supporting parents, especially if they are having a tough time.
If you were one of my mums I might tell you I wish you had told me earlier that things were so hard but only because I would want to support you, not because you have to tell me your business.
Please take care of yourself
j
x

[TondelayoSchwarzkopf]

Good luck chick I hope you get the help you need.

[Valpollicella]

Chick, no they absolutely won't! Please speak to them

And if for whatever reason you don't feel comfortable with the advice given, you can see another HV.

[NonnoMum]

I have a friend who had very premature twins, and could hardly leave the house for the first year for fear of infection.

Her HV became her life-saver, confidant, even friend.

[Chickchickchickchickchickpea]

Thank you, you're all so lovely! I will speak to one of the hvs at clinic next week.

[reallytired]

Chickchickchickchickchickpea, have you thought of phoning your health visitor. It would give you more privacy than a baby clinic.

[mrsgordonfreeman]

"You may scoff, but there have already been cases of bugging microchips being inserted into children's computers to discover what they are viewing."

Skimmed the rest, but

I think you'll find there's no need to insert special microchips into a computer, there are plenty there already.

I've only been visited by a HV once, she said she didn't need to come again. I must have passed or something.

ps you are a fruitloop.

[Chickchickchickchickchickpea]

I did think of that reallytired but I haven't seen my named hv for ages and I don't know if she still works there! I thought I could just mention it to whoever I see when I get dd weighed, I'd probably be too nervous to just phone and come out with it!

[Valpollicella]

Chick, please don't fall into waht I did.

I got worried that me being low (read PND) would show up on files and SS records (how I wish I knew of MN.....)

So I didn;t speak to anyone about it all. And I had a miserable first year with my DS.

The ridiculous thing is, that when I came out of it I was advising all, left right and centre to speak to HV's etc because they could help

Please please speak to people like the HV and spare yourself the misery some of us go through because we are too scared.

There is NOTHING to worry about.

[Amieesmum]

Ok - i'm sorry i only read to page two of this thread so apologys if i tread on anyones toes or repeat stuffs, but was SO annoyed by the PO i just had to reply tonight despite my sleepy state!

For one this yes HV's do access you as well as the baby in question, however they aren't monsters as a rule (some are) the more experienced ones can spot abuse/ neglect and need for help a mile off by doing this, and if it saves lifes why the hell shouldn't they?!?1

Secondly, Both my grandma & my Aunt who i'm very close to are health visitors - My aunt currently a regional HV for a well known nursery. AND both of them, are a wealth of knowledge & comfort to me.

My own HV was a little rubbish, my dd failed all hearing assesments as a baby but she didn't think this was a problem (turned out dd is pretty much deaf)


I just want to say, don't judge your HV before you've met them, if you are unhappy with them AFTER you have met them fair enough, don't let them in, have your baby weighed & checked else where, but honestly some HV's are a godsend and are seriously amazing. I've met a good few (and not just the ones in the family)

[yeahforreal]

Dear Bisonx,
many thanx for your info and your posts , I agree with you one hundred per cent, its a shame more people did not listen, all they had to do was a bit of research and found out the truth , however there are loads of government workers on websites posting misinformation. I have recently returned to the UK from France. My 17 month old has never had an HV , the French medical profession DO NOT invite themselves into your home and spy. My daughter had monthly check ups at the Doctors and has excellent health . I registered my lo at the Docs here and made sure all her vaccines are up to date. Today I received a letter from an HV telling me she is coming to my home for a visit next week. I am absolutely LIVID. An HV MUST be invited into your home. An HV is optional, so I have no idea where this lady had the balls to write and tell me she is coming to my home. I do not need her help , I have attended 3 different Universities in 3 different countries and I am no dummie. HEY LADY , if I need your help I will ask for it. Any profession connected with the Government has a hidden adgenda, its time for you to WAKE UP PEOPLE, just do a quick google and you will know the truth. Most of the workers are not even aware that they are being used for other purposes, they are brain washed into thinking they are doing a great job and helping people. They may be helpful , am sure they are , but just be aware they could be smiling assasins. Just do some research people , it will hurt you none and cost you nothing , and treat a clever qualified man with more respect in future. Thanx Bisonx , if you care to look further I recommend info wars dot com. "They must find it hard to take Truth for Authority who have so long mistaken Authority for Truth." Gerald Massey (1828-1904)

[TaggieCampbellBlack]

Bonkers paranoid zombie thread.