Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

So perhaps we should be breastfeeding for 7 years?

192 replies

ThomasTankEngine · 06/08/2007 21:06

See here

OP posts:
Oblomov · 07/08/2007 11:57

VVV said:" been lots of intimation that mothers that feed beyond 6 months are "odd" "selfish" etc "
Who was it that said that ?
Is it the norm to have a go at mothers who bf post 6 mths, these days ?

pooka · 07/08/2007 12:06

I would have been happy to carry on feeding both of mine for as long as they wanted. In fact, I did. Only they both stopped showing any interest at just over a year. Not a forced issue. Just complete disinterest. Would have been nice to have been able to go longer and to have had the opportunity to feed after knocks, scrapes and upsets.

Not sure how I'd have felt about carrying on once they went to pre-school. Wish I could say that I would have carried on as long as they wanted, but not sure. Like Terramum said in her post, it's difficult to imagine your 3 year old at 7, or your 1 year old at 3.

Danae · 07/08/2007 12:14

Message withdrawn

suis · 07/08/2007 13:02

Thank you for pointing that out Oblomov. The OP was asking for opinion about the idea of continuing to age 7 and that is what the subsequent posts were concerning. As yet I don't think anyone has come up with a RL example of someone who has actually done that.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 07/08/2007 13:21

" By CHOCOLATEPEANUT on Mon 06-Aug-07 21:42:49

bf at 7???

no really they cannot be serious?

It just is not right, think 'bitty' from Little Britain.You need to draw the line somewhere. "

Well there's a post for a start....
"its just not right"
"bitty" (reference to a 'comedy' sketch where a man is b/fed into his 30's by his mother and grandmother)
"you need to draw the line somewhere"

I could go trawling through other threads where the comment "its more for the mother's benefit than the child" (selfish, in other words) crops up over and over and over again.

But, I am at work, and shouldnt really be on here anyway

I'll do it later though, oblomov, if you wish?

charliegal · 07/08/2007 13:31

God, that 'bitty' reference, I hate that stupid sketch so much. Apart from not being funny (to me), it has become common parlance to refer to anyone feeding a baby over 6 months. I've had it a few times and my baby is (gasp) nine months old. Driven by pure mysogyny if you ask me.

Original poster
ThomasTankEngine · 07/08/2007 13:43

But why oh why is it unusual to BF past 6 months?
I forget percentages but its still a miniscule no of mums who do.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 07/08/2007 13:47

TTE, because the culture we live in has bottlefeeding as the norm, in part because we allow formula to be advertised by companies who have a massive stake in making sure of that.

Oblomov · 07/08/2007 13:56

VVV, what I was trying to say, badly, is that when you said that people had 'implied' that bf post 6 mths , was odd - or words to that effect, you didn't mean on this particular thread, did you.
What I mean is, surely no one would criticise a mother bf post 6 mths, would they.
Am I being naieve ?
If you are uncomfortable with bf at 7, or 5, or 3, or whatever.
But breastfeeding at 6 months does not constiture 'extended breastfeeding', does it.
At what age does the bf, change to 'extended bf' ?
On this particular thread, no one critices bf at 6 months, did they.
I hope not.
I know that you found chocolate peanuts comments unacceptable. But her comments were not about bf post 6 mths - or they didn't seem that way to me.

harpsichordcarrier · 07/08/2007 15:33

"surely no one would criticise a mother bf post 6 mths, would they."
yes oblomov, all the time, and yes it is referred to as extended bf.
if you go through the bf/bf threads on here, there are countless instances of women being criticised by friends, family, health professionals, random strangers
the original article did not talk about feeding until 7 by the way, just that the norm should be (for health benefits) between 2.5 - 7 - so the vast majority of children will self wean before then and only a tiny number will carry on. which just goes to show how messed up our culture is because a tiny number are still bf by one year let alone two.
quite quite different.
the whole "bitty" thing makes me want to throw things tbh, and it makes me sad when women buy into such blatant nasty misogyny.

SeamonstEr · 07/08/2007 15:45

re the thread title, not for me personally and I suspect ds2 [6 years] may have his objections too. But each one of us is different so if it suits you and your lo's so be it and good luck.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 07/08/2007 16:25

Ideally, oblomov, there shouldnt need to be the phrase "extended" at all - it should simply be breastfeeding.

That's what I was trying to get at too harpsi. It is insidious.

I've even had a GP say to me " - you are still feeding him? You dont need to feed him past one year though"

When I raised the issue with another GP she said "Well, you dont need to, the WHO recommendations are shaped around third world countries"

policywonk · 07/08/2007 16:33

The woman from the Extraordinary Breastfeding doc who wrote a very sensible article about it afterwards calls it 'full-term breastfeeding'.

terramum · 07/08/2007 17:11

puffylovett ...get what you meant now....sorry ....interesting idea. Dr Carlos Gonzales mentions the current guidlines in his book "My child won't eat" & makes an observation that things seem to be slowly creeping back to the recommendations at the turn of the last century which was excl bfing until 1 yr....I know a few people who have consciously done this & a couple who have done it because their children simply refused all solids before 12 months. Trouble is when you have countries like ours & the USA which has woefully inadequate maternity leave and baby food companies still able to promote soldis "from 4 months" I very much doubt it will change anytime soon even if the evidence does come to light.

Katiekin · 07/08/2007 17:29

I fed mine for just over 2 years each but when I forced them to stop by going away for the weekend (after trying everything else)because 'selfishly' I'd had enough they each turned to something else for comfort, My DS1 holds my hair which can be annoying as he quite often pulls it. My DS2 holds my breast, even worse. I can't get either of them to give this up, any ideas? Did anyone else have this problem?

Rantmum · 07/08/2007 17:45

I have no "evidence" to suggest that it is wrong (and I have no interest in trying to find any either) and I am sure that my issue with bfing once children are no longer toddlers is entirely the result of my own inhibitions and preconceptions, but I do find the idea of a child being able to ask for my breast for a drink and also sucking on it after eating a meal quite unpleasant. It is completely personal, so I am not judging anyone elses choice, but I could never contemplate doing this myself.

I bf ds for 11 mths then he self-weaned, and I would happily bf my next child until he/she was a toddler of 2-3 if necessary, but I would feel compelled to wean a child any older than that in time for school, and as regular mealtimes become the normal method of teaching social skills as well as a means of sustenance. Not scientific, and purely personal, I know.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 07/08/2007 18:10

Rantum, I only fed DS first thing in the morning in the end, and occasionally just before bedtime.

I dont think that around-the-clock feeding is an issue much later on.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 07/08/2007 18:11

And the thing with toddlers, you see, is, well, they dont turn into toddlers overnight.

And toddlers dont turn into young children overnight....

nappyaddict · 07/08/2007 18:19

vvvqv when did you feed until?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 07/08/2007 18:29

with dd 7 months. DS - 2 yrs 3 months.

beansprout · 07/08/2007 18:38

I am pregnant and am b/feeding ds (now 2.9). I will carry on feeding him for as long as he wants to be fed and if that is for years to come, then good for us, I say.

I could say that I find it "odd" that some women refuse to b/feed but it would be hurtful and inconsiderate to do so, so I don't come on here and post that view. It's never helpful to just dismiss something as "odd" when you don't know that much about it. I think Spencer referred to this as "contempt prior to investigation".

It is, sadly, very predictable on MN that just about every single time there is a thread on extended b/feeding, mums who have chosen to ff come on here and feel the need to defend their decision. Sometimes it would just be nice to talk about how we feel about feeding toddlers without being accused of being "smug" or "looking down our noses" at other mums.

BonyM · 07/08/2007 18:49

If I was being selfish I would stop bf now (dd2 is 2yrs 5mths) as tbh I've had enough, but she is so devoted to her "milky" that I can't put her through the stress of forcing her to stop.

So I will continue to be unselfish, and put my dd's needs before my own.

Never thought I would still be feeding her at this age!

ChasingSquirrels · 07/08/2007 18:58

Rantmum - my friend had similar with her ds holding/twirling etc her hair. She got him a small doll with pretty realistic hair and he transferred his affections. If you go down this route and it works I would suggest getting another identical doll!

I personally would prefer not to be feeding my 18mo anymore, but not enough that I am going to do anything about it yet. I am pretty sure I will stop feeding him by 2yo (because I want to stop, even if he wants to continue, I think this is selfish, I am happy with being selfish in this regard).
I am also suprised that I am still feeding him, I mixed fed ds1 from 5mo (return to work) and stopped completely by 8/9mo, and if you had asked me two years ago then my gut feel would be that feeding an 18mo is a slightly odd thing to do - but like others have said you don't start out feeding a toddler, you start out feeding a newborn - and they just grow
In the same way that two years ago I felt that feeding an 18mo was odd, I still feel now that feeding a 3yo is odd. This doesn't mean it is wrong, or that I critise those that chose to do so, it's just my gut feeling, and it says more about me and my attitudes than about those who DO feed older children.

Original poster
ThomasTankEngine · 07/08/2007 19:43

Beansprout, I think you are amazing BFing and being preg. My body feels pretty tired just breastfeeding.
Please may I ask a question?
If you're breastfeeding a child then have another baby, does the second child still get the colostrum it needs in the first few days of life?
Just being curious.

OP posts:
beansprout · 07/08/2007 19:58

Aw shucks, Thomas, thank you

Apparently the body will prioritise the baby over the toddler, so the baby will get what it needs. Toddlers quite often self wean during the second trimester of pregnancy as that is when the body starts to gear itself up for milk production and the taste of the milk can change. That's my understanding anyway.